It was wrong. We both knew it, but I’d wanted him for so long.
“Kathryn,” he said as he prepared his speech. The one that would shoot me down. I wasn’t going to let that happen, so I grabbed him around the neck and I forced my lips to his, hoping he wouldn’t push me away.
It was bold, like the new me. The one I wanted to be.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled the kiss deeper, harder. Janson’s fingers dug into my flesh as he plastered my body against his, his breaths coming out in ragged pants between kisses.
I wasn’t the only one that had been holding back. I could feel how much he wanted me in the warmth of his strong hold, not to mention the rock hard bulge in his pants that pressed right up against my belly.
“Kathryn,” he said slowly as he pried himself away from me. “We can’t do this.”
“Yes. Yes, we can,” I said as kissed his jaw. He didn’t separate further.
He smelled so good and was so warm against my skin. I knew that this wasn’t my life. I didn’t belong here. But for tonight, I could pretend it was. Pretend I could have exactly what I wanted.
And I wanted him.
“f*ck
,” he swore as he breathed my scalp in deep. “You can’t possibly want this. Want me. You don’t know what you are getting yourself into.” He sounded so conflicted that I almost felt sorry for him, but I was too damn hot for him.
“I don’t care, Janson. I’ve wanted you for years. I begged you to look at me, look at me the way you did tonight. I want that. I want now. I don’t care about the rest.”
I wanted that. I wanted that more than anything, but my worries wouldn’t go away.
Until he kissed me one more time, his strong arms holding me as he washed away all my worries. All my problems.
And that was okay.
“You have no idea how tempting you were,” he said slowly. “From the time you turned eighteen, I knew I’d have to keep my distance. Knew I’d want you just as badly if I let myself be swayed.”
I melted, his inability to say no fueled by the responses of my body. The heat flushed through me and flooded my most sensitive areas. The sticky wet feeling that followed it all too familiar.
My body lusted after him and there was nothing I could do. I just had to enjoy the ride.
So I did.
I kissed him deeply, my tongue invading his mouth, letting me know his passion. He was responsible for what happened next.
“f*ck
it, I want you too much,” Janson said as he grabbed me and picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. It was undignified, but completely sexy. “Tell me that you want me.”
“I want you, Janson.”
“How much?” he asked.
“Enough that I am willing to go against everything, against the family, in order to have you.” I kissed his neck and that only seemed to be fuel to the fire. He walked through the condo and back to the bedrooms, opening what I assumed was the master suite and set me down next to the bed so that I could stare up at him.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I kissed his neck.
“Admiring the view.” I didn’t need to turn around in order to see that there was another glass wall like the one in the living room of the condo. The city lights that shown in illuminated everything.
I kissed him again, showing him just how much I wanted him. All of that emotion. All of that need, that fear, all that raw passion.
“As beautiful as you look in that silky little number, I want to see you out of it.”
I wasn’t wearing anything under the gown, and as soon as it was gone, I would be completely exposed to him, so I hesitated. He looked at me expectantly, but I didn’t move.
I swear there was just a bit of agitation in his eyes as I stood there. The kind that made him angry.
He was even sexier when he was angry.
“Take off the gown, Kat.” He grabbed the straps of it and pushed them down my shoulders, revealing my bare arms. I pushed it down, though, past my breasts so that it hung on my hourglass frame. I was small, but my frame was curvy, and I really liked that I had hips.
“Even more beautiful than I imagined.” He reached down and pushed it further, each little bit of satin giving way to my delicate skin.
“So beautiful,” he murmured, kissing down my skin. “So, very beautiful.” He sunk his teeth into my shoulder, the strong bite of him making me moan and buck as I fought to remove the rest of the gown.
I didn’t want to let my fear show, not any of it. I’d lived away from home for months, I’d always been a brave woman, but I’d never…
I swallowed. I’d never been with a man before. I wanted it to be Janson. Always fantasized it would be. I mean, sure, I’d done things with guys, but never this.
Never this.
“You have no idea how much I’ve been dreaming about this.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I realized I was saying them. I reached up to his oxford shirt and started unbuttoning it. His jacket was off when I came into the room and I spread my hands across his muscles in between buttons. Oh dear god, he was so f*ck