I nodded, more tears slipping down my face now.
He stood up, grabbed his still wrapped sandwich, pulled the handle up on his suitcase and walked around the table. He kissed me softly on the top of my head and said, "Be happy, Grace."
I watched him walk off and wiped away a few more tears. As sad as I felt, I knew that was the right thing to do. I had fooled myself into thinking it was the right thing to marry someone I had lukewarm feelings for. And that had been unfair to Alex too. He was a good man. He deserved to find a woman who brought out the best in him, not someone who saw him as a consolation prize. I grimaced, realizing what a mistake I had made in even continuing to date Alex. We should have just been friends all along.
I sat for a few minutes longer when suddenly it registered what song was playing over the airport sound system. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On played softly beneath the clanking of trays and the sound of chairs scooting across the tile floor. I laughed a soft laugh. As the song continued to play, purpose began flowing through my body.
I stood up and gathered my things, leaving the food at the table. I wasn't going to go to Dayton. I had a flight to change.
**********
I had to pay a hefty fee, but I was able to book a flight back to Vegas that left a couple hours later. My body was humming with nerves but I felt filled with excitement, the knowledge that this choice was right, singing in my blood. I was going to Carson.
I wondered if I should call Trilogy and get a hold of him before I just showed up there. But I somehow knew it would be better to go to him in person, to explain my feelings while standing right in front of him. He had been brave, as usual, and put it right out there that he wanted us to try again, to try for real this time. And I had pushed him away not once, not twice, but all three times he made his feelings known to me. I had a good reason–another person's feelings to consider. But still, it had to have been hard for him to lay his pride on the line and to be rejected. I wanted to look in his eyes when I told him that I wanted him too. I had always wanted him. If I had been honest with myself, I would have known as soon as I looked in his eyes again, that I had never stopped. Fate had brought us back together and I was going to hold on tight and thank the heavens above that we had been given a second chance.
As I waited for my flight to board, I took my phone out of my purse and dialed Julia's number. I knew Julia had taken the week of Christmas off so she would be home.
"Hey sis," she answered, "I thought you'd still be flying right now."
I cleared my throat. "I'm actually about to board my flight, Jules," I said, "um, back to Vegas."
There was a slight pause. "Why? Is everything okay?" she asked, worriedly.
"Well, yes and no. I broke up with Alex."
She hissed in a breath. "Oh, Gracie, I'm so… I mean, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm good, Julia. We… weren't right together. It took me a little while to figure it out, and I'm sad about that, but a little relieved too, I guess." I took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm headed home, and Julia, I'm nervous to tell you this, but, I'm heading home because Carson Stinger is back in my life–you know, the man I spent a weekend with almost five years ago. And he's not a porn star anymore. He's a SEAL, or rather, a former SEAL who now works in security, and I, well, he wants me, I mean, I hope he still wants me." I paused. "My behavior toward him, well, it wasn't awesome and… anyway, I want him too and I'm going home to tell him that. And I hope you all will forgive me for ruining Christmas, but I have to do this because he taught me to follow my heart. And I am, and he's my heart." I started crying at this point, but I couldn't stop talking. "He's had my heart all this time, Jules, and that scared me so badly because I didn't think I could ever have him again. But–"
"Grace!" Julia came over the phone and I heard the huge smile in her voice, but then I heard a little sob in the background.
"Am I on speaker?" I whispered.
Julia and Audrey started laughing and crying and talking over each other.
"Girls! I can't even hear what you're saying. Audrey, I didn't even know you were there," I whispered into the phone and then turned around from the corner I had gone into so that no one could hear my call. Thankfully, no one was close enough to hear my teary rambling.
Audrey's voice came over the line. "Go get him, Gracie!" she laughed. "Alex wasn't for you. We knew that when we met him in Vegas."
"Why didn't you say anything?" I cried out.
"Because, we didn't know you'd get engaged to him! And then we felt badly. We were going to try to bring it up this week. But it would have been hard because he would have been here…. We, oh, it all worked out! Go get your guy, Grace. We'll talk dad down from the ledge."
I laughed, but then groaned. "Oh God, Dad. Will you tell him how sorry I am and that I'll explain. Tell him I'll call him as soon as I can, okay?"
"Don't call him too soon. We got this. Give him some time. It'll be fine. But you know Dad. He blows up first and asks questions later."
"Yeah, I know. Thank you so much. I love you girls so much."
"We love you too," they said together and I could hear the tears in their voices.
I hung up and went to the restroom to clean myself up. An hour later I was boarding my flight back to Las Vegas. Back to Carson.
**********
I touched down in Vegas at seven o'clock that evening. I had been traveling all day and I was right back where I had started, and yet the course of my life had just changed dramatically. Alex had driven us to the airport, and so I took a cab back to my house to get my own car.