So This Is Love

chapter Thirteen

Emma started Wednesday morning off on a happy note when she received a call from Alicia telling her that the apartment was hers. If Emma could meet her that night at eight o'clock with a deposit check, Alicia would be able to give her the keys at the same time. Things were suddenly moving very fast, but Emma was ready for the change. She decided to tell her parents over breakfast.

As usual, her mom and dad were having coffee and reading the morning newspaper, the way they'd done every day of their lives. They didn't talk much to each other in the mornings, but the silence between them was always filled with love.

Her mom looked up when she entered the room. "Good morning, Emma."

"Morning. I have some big news." She sat down at the table.

Her father lowered the newspaper and gave her an expectant look. "What's that?"

"I'm moving out. I got an apartment in the Marina. I can pick up the keys tonight and if all goes well, I can start moving in this weekend."

Jack nodded approvingly. "Figured you'd be ready to move out soon."

"Well, I'm a little too old to be living with my parents, but I am going to miss you both. You were so great when I had to come home again, and I really appreciate that."

"You can always come home, Emma," her mom said with a smile. "And we'll miss you, too. Are you going to have a roommate, or is this place only for you?"

"It's just for me."

"I hope you won't be lonely."

"I know where I can always find people."

"How's the investigation coming?" Jack asked.

"It's slow," she admitted, wishing she could give a different answer. Her father liked results, and because he was so close to Harry Brady, he also had a personal stake in the case.

"I was hoping, sad as it is to say, that Sister Margaret's body might have provided some clues," Jack said heavily. "You're working closely with the police department?"

She didn't want to tell him how close. "Yes."

"Good. Hank Crowley tells me that Max Harrison is a top-notch investigator. He closed a lot of impossible-to-solve cases in Los Angeles. Hopefully, he can do the same here."

"I'm sure he's good, but so am I." She was a little irritated by her father's implied assumption that she needed Max to solve the case.

Jack smiled. "You get defensive very quickly."

"Because I always have to prove myself," she snapped back.

"Sometimes that need keeps you sharp."

"But you don't have to prove yourself to us," Lynda interjected, sending Jack a sharp look. "Does she?"

"Of course not," he replied. "You're a smart woman, Emma. You wouldn't be where you are now if you weren't."

"Exactly," she said, happy that he recognized that fact.

As she finished speaking, the house phone rang. It always startled Emma when someone called on the landline. Her mother got up to take the call.

"Hello?" Frowning, she said, "He's right here." She handed the phone to Jack. "It's your father. He seems upset."

Emma sent her mother a questioning look, but Lynda simply shrugged, then sat back down. They waited, listening to her father's side of the conversation.

"Why would you want to put her so far away? It will be more difficult for the family to visit her," Jack asked, irritation in his voice. "We need to talk about this, Dad." He listened for another minute. "Why the rush?" Another moment passed. "I'll come and meet you. I'll be there in an hour."

As he hung up the phone, Lynda immediately said, "What was that about?"

"Dad wants to put Mom into an assisted living facility in Monterey."

"That's two hours from here," Emma interjected. "There are a ton of facilities in this area. Why would he want to have her so far away?"

Her father's expression turned grim. "I don't understand what he's thinking. He said something about the fact that she always liked Carmel, and she wanted to be by the sea. I need to sit down with him. Sometimes I don't think he makes any more sense than she does. I'll see you both later." He leaned down and kissed Lynda, then walked out of the room.

The familiar goodbye kiss made Emma smile. "You two are so sweet," she said. "It amazes me that you have kept your love so strong for all these years. It's clear Jack adores you. He kisses you when he leaves and when he comes home. You're the first person he wants to see, the first person he wants to talk to. It's very cool."

Lynda smiled. "That's how a good marriage works. One day you'll have that kind of relationship, too."

"I don't know about that," she said doubtfully. "Finding the right person seems like a big long shot. I thought Jon was right for a little while, but I was wrong about him."

"Sometimes, the first love isn't the right love." Shadows filled her mother's eyes. "You said that your new apartment is in the Marina?"

"Yes," Emma said, suddenly realizing that her apartment was only a mile from where her mom and biological father had lived and where she and Nicole had been born. Her parents had started their lives with such hope, but seven years later the marriage was over. After the divorce her mom had brought them to this house. Her grandmother had lived here at the time, but the house was too big for her, and she'd encouraged Lynda to live there while she got a smaller apartment across town. They'd been here ever since. "I hope you won't have bad memories when you come to visit me," she said.

"Oh, of course not. Don't be silly. That was a lifetime ago."

"Yet, when you think of that time, I still see pain in your eyes."

"I don't regret marrying your father, because I had you and Nicole, and you are my two greatest joys in life. But I am sorry that I didn't pick a man who would be a good husband and father. David didn't know how to be either one. He just wanted to have fun, work hard—play hard. That was his motto. Unfortunately, having a family didn't really fit in with those goals. I was probably stupid to hang on as long as I did, but I didn't want to deprive you and your sister of having a father."

"We got a better dad when you married Jack, so it turned out all right in the end."

"Do you ever think about David?" her mom queried.

She was surprised by the question. They hadn't spoken of her real father in a very long time. "Hardly ever," she said. "And if I do think of him, it's not usually in a good way."

"David did love you, Emma. He just didn't know how to show it."

"Don’t make excuses for him," she said quickly. "You did that enough when I was young. He is who he is, and neither of us can change that."

"I wish I hadn't had to put you through a divorce. It was hard on me, but it was probably even worse for you and Nicole."

Her mother's words reminded her of Nicole's faltering marriage. She wanted to talk to her mom about it, but it was not her place to speak for her sister.

"You made it easier for us when you married Jack," Emma said. "I was happy to get a new father, although the four brothers took a while to grow on me."

Lynda smiled. "Those boys adored you."

"They hated me. I always wanted to play with them, and they loved to say no girls allowed."

"That didn't stop you."

She grinned. "You're right. It only made me try harder. I was so good at the games they had to let me play. Nicole thought I was crazy. She didn't even want to play with them."

"You both have your own personalities."

"That's true. I only hope that I don't take after my biological father when it comes to love. He was a big failure."

"You are not your father. Bloodlines don't make you who you are."

"That's not what Jack says."

"Well, Jack gets a little carried away sometimes with his Callaway traditions."

"I like the traditions. I even like that he and Grandpa have set the bar high for all of us. It gives us something to strive for."

"I'm sure that's the intent."

"Speaking of Grandpa, why do you think he suddenly wants to move Grandma so far away from the family?"

"I can't imagine a reason," Lynda said, bewilderment in her eyes. "Even if she's in an assisted living facility, she'll need our help. It doesn't make sense to me, but your grandfather has been acting oddly the past year. He's so distraught about losing the woman he's loved for the last fifty years that he's not thinking straight. He wants to make her happy, but she needs to be in a place where we can help him keep her comfortable."

Emma thought about her mother's words for a moment, wondering if she should raise the question that had been pressing on her mind for a few weeks. "The other night at Jack's party Grandma started talking about a bad, bad day. Do you remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but that was just her Alzheimer's talking. She doesn't know where she is half the time."

"So you don't think there was some terrible day in her life?"

"I'm sure I would have heard about it before now."

"True. But this isn't the first time that Grandma has mentioned a secret. She brought it up a few weeks ago with Aiden and me. And just like the other night, Grandpa cut her off."

"Patrick is protective of Eleanor, but he doesn't shut her up."

"Doesn't he?" she pressed.

Her mom frowned. "Well, he does get a little impatient sometimes with her, but that's natural. It's an incredibly difficult situation. He's literally watching his wife lose her mind, and he feels helpless. Your grandfather doesn't do well in situations he can't control."

She could understand that. She might not be a Callaway by blood, but she shared the need to control her life. "I'm sure it's terrible. I feel bad watching her struggle to find a word or capture a memory, and I'm sure what he experiences is a hundred times worse. But I get the feeling there's something weird going on, that maybe there is some secret they're protecting.

"You and your feelings," Lynda said in exasperation. "Don't you have enough mysteries to solve at work, Emma?"

"Aren't you a little curious, Mom?"

"No, I'm not, because I've been married to Jack for almost twenty-five years, and if he thought your grandfather had a secret, he'd be the first to say so and the first to dig into it."

Unless Jack already knew what the secret was and was willing to keep it from his wife...

She doubted her mother would appreciate her theory, so she simply got to her feet and said, "I should go."

"All right," her mother replied, her expression somewhat distracted. Maybe she wasn't as certain about Jack's transparent life as she'd said she was.

Not that Emma wanted there to be some big, dark secret. As her mom said, she ran into enough of those in her work life. She wanted her family to stay the way it was, happy, chaotic, a little crazy, but oh, so wonderful.

She turned to leave, then paused, one last question on her mind. "How did you know that Jack was the one?" she asked. "You must have been a little worried about making another mistake, considering your first marriage ended in divorce. So how did you know that Jack was the right choice?"

"I just knew. From the first minute I met him, I had this feeling that this man was going to be important to me. I was nervous. I didn't want to screw things up again, especially since I had two little girls to worry about as well. But I got excited just thinking about Jack. When he'd pick me up for a date, my heart would start beating a mile a minute. I thought he could take over my whole world if I let him, and that was terrifying, but it was also incredibly exhilarating. So I did what I needed to do."

"What was that?"

"I let him take over my world," she said with a smile.

"That's pretty risky—giving someone that much control over your life."

"That's what love is all about, Emma. There are no guarantees, no promise that there won't be mistakes or even failure. You have to take a leap of faith."

"I think I'd rather just skip the whole thing."

Her mother laughed. "Seriously? You don't intend to fall in love? You—my risk-taking, fearless, thrill-seeking daughter—you're going to miss out on the greatest adventure of all?"

"I don't see it that way."

"Well, it's not going to be up to you."

"Of course, it's up to me. Who else would it be up to?"

"They call it falling in love for a reason Emma. You don't plan it. It just happens, usually when you least expect it. And sometimes at the most inconvenient time."

Memories of being in Max's arms flashed through her head—his mouth on hers, his chest hard against her breasts, his hands holding her still for a full out assault on her senses. She'd been glad for his grip on her then, because that kiss had made her feel like she was flying—or maybe falling, but Max had held her up.

Her mother tilted her head, her gaze narrowing. "Emma? What's going on in that head of yours? Why all the questions about love?"

"No reason," she said, schooling her expression. "I better get to work. In that part of my life, I know what I'm doing. At least most of the time."

* * *

The conversation with her mother played through Emma's head as she drove downtown. She was surprised that the woman who had always taught her to be independent would advocate letting a man take over her world. Especially since her mother's first choice of a man hadn't worked out. But even after her divorce, Lynda had not soured on love, which had made her open to finding Jack.

But Emma wasn't sure she wanted to put herself out there again, not that she'd really put herself out there with Jon. She'd held back a lot from him, mostly because he hadn't asked her for more. Jon was not a deep person. He didn't talk about his feelings or emotions, and he hadn't been particularly interested in hers. In the end, that emotional distance had worked against them. Their relationship had been much more on the surface than probably either of them had realized until it was over.

Max was very different from Jon. He was deep and complicated, layers upon layers, a man of serious thoughts and buried emotions. It might take a lifetime to work through them all.

And Max would definitely take over a woman's world. He already seemed to be consuming a good portion of hers. Even when they weren't together, she was thinking about him. She kept reliving their kiss on the beach, wondering if it was as good as she remembered, and wondering if it might ever happen again.

With a sigh, she pulled into her parking spot at work and went into her office determined to put Max out of her mind. After meeting with her boss to update him on the investigation, she returned to her desk and spent the next few hours working the pieces of the puzzle she had, trying to find some way to make them fit together.

She knew there was another fire coming. The arsonist wasn't done. With each new fire, he'd no doubt experienced a rush of adrenaline, a thrill, and an addictive need to feel that rush again. He was probably selecting his next target. She wanted to anticipate his move, but she didn't have enough clues. Two schools, then a bar—his next hit could be anywhere. The pattern had been broken when he'd moved from a school to a restaurant.

Frustrated, Emma left the office around two o'clock to get a sandwich at the deli. She called Max on her way, but his phone went to voicemail. She'd already left him a message earlier. She was beginning to wonder what he was up to and why he wasn't calling her back. They were supposed to be working together.

When she walked into the Second Street Deli a few moments later, she was surprised to see a man standing behind the cash register. Mary stood nearby, watching him ring up an order.

"I see you found some help," she said to Gus as she ordered a veggie wrap.

"He said you sent him," Gus replied in his usual gruff voice.

"What?"

She glanced over at the man again and a surprising thought took hold. He looked very familiar. Was this Max's brother? Had Max actually followed up on her suggestion?

"That's Spencer Harrison?" she asked.

"You don't know him?" Gus queried, his gaze narrowing.

"I know his brother, Max. He was in here yesterday with me. He's a cop with the SFPD. I mentioned that you needed someone to help out while Mary was on maternity leave and that his brother might want to apply for the job."

Gus nodded. "He seems smart enough, and he could start right away, so I'm giving him a shot. We'll see how it works out. I can't be too choosy. Mary is going to drop that kid any second."

"I hope it works out," she said.

"So do I."

She moved down the counter, grabbed a drink out of the case, and then stepped up to the register. Mary had disappeared into the back. Spencer was waiting to take her money. Spencer was taller and thinner than Max, and his brown hair was two shades darker. Instead of Max's green eyes, Spencer's were hazel, but they were just as penetrating, just as wary. Apparently, suspicion ran in the family.

"Hello," she said. "Are you Spencer?"

He raised an eyebrow as his gaze narrowed on her face. "Are you Emma?"

"How did you know that?"

"Max told me a friend of his recommended this job and that his friend was a beautiful, blue-eyed blond. For once he wasn't exaggerating."

His words surprised and flattered her. "Oh. Well, I see Max told you about the job opening."

"Yeah, and apparently there weren't a lot of applicants," he drawled, as he rang up her order. "So I got to start right away."

She handed him a twenty. He quickly made change and handed it back to her, as if he'd been running the register for years.

"I'm glad you applied," she said. "Max wasn't sure you'd be interested."

"Beggars can't be choosers. Max told me that you know my history, so…" He ended the sentence with a shrug.

"Right. He told me a little. I looked up the rest online. I'm a curious kind of person."

"That can get you into trouble."

"Don't I know it."

Mary came out of the back room with her bag over her shoulder. She looked much happier than she had the day before. "Thanks for the referral, Emma. Spencer is a life savior. He's already up to speed, which means I get to go home and put my feet up. Yay!"

"I'm so glad," she said as Mary walked around the counter. "You need to rest."

"I do, because in a few days I doubt I'll be getting much sleep at all. I feel so much less pressure now that Spencer has started. I don't have to worry about leaving Gus in the lurch." She gave Spencer a grateful smile. "If you need anything and Gus can't help you, just give me a call."

Spencer nodded. "Don't worry about it. We'll be fine."

As Mary left, Emma turned her attention back to Spencer. He was looking at her in a way that made her feel a little uncomfortable. Obviously, Max had talked to his brother about her, which seemed somewhat out of character. But perhaps he was more talkative when it came to his family.

She was rarely at a loss for words, but she didn't know what to say to Spencer. He was a stranger, and yet she knew quite a bit about him. She glanced down the counter. Gus had disappeared into the back room. Apparently, he was looking for something for her sandwich, as there were no other customers in the store.

"I hear you and Max are working together," Spencer said, breaking the increasingly awkward silence.

"Yes," she said with relief. "I've actually been trying to get a hold of him today. Have you seen him?"

"Not since this morning. You know that you have him tied up in knots, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," he said with a pointed gleam in his eyes.

She did know, but she couldn't bring herself to admit to it. "I think you're the one he's most concerned with right now," she said. "He wants to help you get back on your feet. You should let him help you."

"Why do you think I'm working here?"

Had he taken the job to please his brother? Or was it easier to pretend that was the reason? For a man with advanced degrees, working in a deli was a big step down. But with his record, he was lucky to have a job, any job.

Gus brought her sandwich to the counter. "Sorry for the wait. I wanted to give you some fresh mushrooms. I got a new order in earlier today. And you deserve the best."

"I appreciate that, thanks. Good luck, Spencer."

"You, too."

She paused. "Why would I need luck?"

He smiled for the first time. "Because you're working with Max. My little brother was never one to share."

"Funny. That's what he said about you."

He tipped his head. "Family trait, I guess."

"Well, Max and I are going to work out just fine."

"I think you might," he said, a gleam in his eyes.

"There's nothing going on between us."

"Oh, there's something going on, and I must admit I'm intrigued. Then again, I have a lot of time on my hands these days."

"Well, I'll see you around."

"I'm sure."

As she left the deli, she couldn't help wondering what else Max had told his brother about her.