Slow Dance in Purgatory

Johnny sang too, and his voice tickled her ear “I’m just a fool…” Maggie’s heart missed a beat, and she leaned into him, resting her forehead on his chest.

“Maggie?” Johnny nuzzled her ear, and Maggie lifted her face from his chest. Her high heels put her eyes on a level with his lips. She watched them, and they whispered her name again, willing her to lift her chin and allow him access. The suspense was achingly sweet, and Maggie shifted ever so slightly, wanting to prolong the moment. As she did, she caught her movement reflected back at her in the mirrors that lined the dance room walls along one side. She had been so caught up in the dancing and so caught up in trying to follow Johnny’s lead, that she had failed to notice their reflection. Her reflection. Maggie stood in the center of the floor, facing the mirrors, arms raised and circling…absolutely nothing.

Johnny had no reflection. Her eyes swung down to the broad shoulders and firm chest supporting her arms, and then slid back to the overwhelming contradiction in the dance room mirrors. She held Johnny in her arms…yet held nothing at all. Her breath froze in her throat. Her lungs screamed for air, yet she couldn’t seem to remember how to inhale. Panicked, she pushed her way out of his embrace, stumbling back as the mirrors around her mocked her desperate untangling.

Maggie’s vision teetered, blurring at the edges, and the room spun wildly around her. The music faded like it had suddenly been sucked through a long dark tunnel, and Maggie realized that for the first time in her life she was going to faint. Maggie’s stomach lurched wildly as she felt herself be swept up off her feet and cradled like a child. Fighting to stay conscious, Maggie gasped for air and called out.

“Johnny?”

“What’s wrong, Maggie?! What the hell is happening!?” Johnny’s voice was urgent and confused.

“Take me out of this room, Johnny, please.”

Faster than it took her to form her next thought, in a blur of speed and light, Maggie found herself outside the dance room, still held in Johnny’s arms, the door swinging harmlessly back to a closed position.

“Where, Maggie?”

“Just …..be still for a minute.” Maggie’s head was swimming, and she didn’t think she could stand.

Johnny exhaled, his warm breath lifting Maggie’s hair where it clung to her feverish cheeks. Leaning back against the lockers, he slid slowly down the smooth metal surface, with Maggie still cradled in his arms, until he met the floor. He sat for several long minutes, Maggie silent and still against him. His warm hand made slow circles on her back, and Maggie concentrated on breathing deeply, in and out.

After a time, the circles Johnny was making on her back widened to include her dark hair that fanned across his chest. Rubbing a silky strand between his fingers, he lifted it and tucked it sweetly behind the ear that peeked out behind the heavy tresses.

“Are you all right?”

Maggie nodded, but burrowed her nose in his chest. She didn’t want to tell him what had scared her so badly.

“Maggie?”

Maggie nodded again and sat up, sliding to the floor beside him. She tucked her legs under her, smoothing her skirt nervously. Sighing, she pushed her hair back from her face and raised her eyes to his.

Blue eyes searched blue eyes as they regarded each other soberly, their faces only inches apart.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Johnny’s voice was low and gentle, as if he were afraid to send her reeling back into the abyss.

“I couldn’t see you in the mirror.” Maggie spoke bluntly, seeing no way around the stunning revelation. “I could feel your heart beating, your arms around me, your breath in my ear,” Maggie blushed but soldiered on, her eyes still on his, “but in the mirror, you weren’t there. I stood completely alone in the center of the room. It was so surreal… and I think I forgot to breathe…I’m sorry for ruining everything.” And she was. How she wished she had missed that brief movement in the mirror and instead had pressed her lips to his, sealing the perfect hour with a kiss.

Johnny’s eyes shifted from hers then, and he drew his legs up, leaning his elbows onto his knees and running a hand through his slicked back hair. It fell back into place. He scrubbed at it again, violently. It slid effortlessly back to its original perfection.

“The night I died, for lack of a better word, I realized something was seriously wrong. I had felt myself dying. I was in horrible pain. I had a hole in my chest, and there was blood everywhere. I remember refusing to go. I fought it so hard, and then I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew I was standing, watching everything happening around me, but no one seemed to know I was there.

“I saw my momma. She ran into the school, stood two feet from me, and didn’t see me. She didn’t hear me either – nobody did. They were all looking for me, but I couldn’t let them know I was right there, and honestly, I didn’t know if I really was…. do you understand?”