Sins and Scarlet Lace

chapter EIGHT

Sophia wandered through the large expanse of office space, marveling at the electronics that seemed to cover every surface. It was like being caught in the middle of a movie—spies and gadgets and farfetched plots—only she didn’t know her lines.

She knew Declan wouldn’t let her roam for long, but she’d had to get away. Being with him again hurt too bad, and she didn’t think she was strong enough to take the kind of emotional pain again he’d given to her when he’d told her he didn’t want her anymore. Not to mention her body felt like it was being flayed alive with the torture of unfulfilled desire.

A full kitchen sat on the other side of what she’d started calling the control room. It had state of the art appliances and it was obvious it was used as there was fresh coffee sitting in the pot. She opened the fridge and saw it was well stocked and her stomach growled in a reminder that she hadn’t eaten a good meal in a long while. The one thing about living within her current budget was that she’d easily lost the extra ten pounds that had always been the bane of her existence. Not eating right would do that to a person.

“Go ahead and make yourself something to eat,” Declan said from behind her.

She’d known he was there, could feel his presence as if he were already touching her. It had always been that way between them, as if they were connected in some cosmic way.

“I’d rather have a shower,” she said, closing the refrigerator door. She was hungry, but her stomach was in knots and the fact she would have died if Declan hadn’t come for her was starting to sink in. Keeping anything down would have been impossible.

“Are you going to be stubborn about this, Soph? I need to be able to trust you’re not going to run off on your own and endanger yourself. Let me protect you.”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I? You made the decision for me and now I’m at your mercy.”

“As long as you understand I’m not going anywhere, then we won’t have a problem. You can use the bathroom in my suite. Darcy will be back with clothes in a few hours, so after your shower you probably need to get some sleep.”

“Have you always been this bossy, or was I just that young when I knew you before?”

“Both,” he said, his mouth quirking in a smile. “Come on. I’ll show you where to get your shower.”

Sophia stayed a few steps behind him as he went past a dining area. All she could think was that he was familiar and different all at the same time. He was broader through the shoulders than he’d been, as if he’d spent more time working out. She’d once known every inch of his body, and she’d thought she’d known his mind. Now she realized she’d known nothing.

He pushed at a seamless panel in the wall that opened up to reveal another area, and held the door open for her so she could step through. The room was one large, open space and Sophia immediately knew it belonged to Declan.

A small sitting area and television sat off to the left and a desk was pushed against the other wall. But it was the large bed that dominated the back of the room that had her p-ssy throbbing in an intense ache that had her biting her lip to hold back a moan.

Fortunately, Dec stayed by the door and watched her patiently. “The bathroom is just through that door. There’s a robe hanging on the back for you to wear until Darcy gets here with your clothes. I’ll make a couple of sandwiches so you’ll have something to eat when you get out.”

Her eyes were still glued to the bed, but she nodded quickly and waited till he left. He hadn’t shut the panel door so she could find her way out again, and she let out a long, slow breath when she was finally alone.

She hurried into the bath and stripped out of her clothes. The shorts had a tear in them—they must have gotten snagged on something while they were running—and the shirt had grass stains and mud smeared across it. She might as well throw them both away.

Scratches of red streaked across her arms and one of her thighs had gotten it bad enough that dried blood coated the area. She dug around in the medicine cabinet just over the sink until she found ointment she could put on after her shower.

The water rained hot and felt decadent against her sore muscles, not to mention the water pressure was glorious. If she wasn’t out of the shower at home in less than five minutes it was a cold shower and nothing much more than a drizzle at that.

God, her body ached. Her skin was sensitive to the touch and sizzled with need, and her nipples tightened to hard peaks. Maybe this time would be different. Her hand trailed down her body and slid between the slick folds of her cunt. She knew where to touch, the right amount of pressure, and how fast or slow her fingers needed to move to take her to the edge.

Her breath came out in broken pants and she laid her forehead against the cold shower wall as she came closer and closer to achieving her goal. Her cry of frustration echoed off the tile and she dropped to her knees, letting the water rain down on her. Her fists pounded against the shower floor and her sobs were silent as she realized she would forever be stuck in this purgatory of half-pleasure.

She reached up and turned the water to cold and scrubbed her body furiously. By the time she got out of the shower her body was still screaming for relief and even the touch of the towel against her skin was too much. When she looked in the mirror she saw a woman whose face was flushed with need, whose breasts were swollen and heavy, and whose eyes were filled with wild desire.

A robe of black silk hung from the back of the door, and she pulled it around her and inhaled the scent of Declan. He surrounded her—got under her skin—like no one ever had, and she couldn’t explain the draw of him any more than she could explain why she knew she’d been wrong in saying he was just like Kane. The differences were there—in the way he watched her and the way she felt the comfort of his protectiveness wrap around her. He just couldn’t be trusted.

Sophia ran a brush through her wet hair, and since she couldn’t find a hair dryer she let it curl naturally around her face.

Declan’s bedroom was still empty when she left the bathroom, and she padded back toward the kitchen in search for food. She stopped in the doorway when she saw him sitting at the island counter, his fingers flying across the keyboard of the laptop in front of him.

“Come on in,” he said without breaking stride. “You’ve got a sandwich if you’re hungry.”

She saw the thick sandwich and pile of chips and her mouth started watering. A soft drink and a glass of ice sat next to it. Declan never missed a detail.

She took the barstool across from him and pulled the plate closer, and it took every bit of self-control to keep from inhaling the sandwich.

“I keep thinking I missed something,” he said once she’d taken several bites.

“Missed what?”

“That I’m just overlooking something in regards to the money. Kane had the money directly wired to the accounts with your name on them, and then he had all the money transferred to a bank in Houston, Texas. But that bank account was only in his name, so he didn’t need your approval to remove the money.”

“We checked with the bank there and he came in six weeks before his death and withdrew the money in the form of a cashier’s check. The check hasn’t been cashed, so he stashed it somewhere.”

“I understand why these men want to get their hands on the money,” she said. “It’s a lot of money. What I don’t understand is why you guys want it so badly.”

“First of all, the minute we have the money in our hands, your name gets taken off the table.” Declan closed his laptop and moved it to the other counter as he got up to grab a drink from the fridge. “The second reason is wherever the money is, the list of terrorists who bid on our agents is probably close by. We need that list so we can bring the agents who were betrayed justice.”

“It’s hard for me to believe the government would go on a vigilante mission of vengeance.”

“The government wouldn’t,” Dec said. “Which is why they have privately funded agencies like this one, and like the one Gabe Brennan runs in London, to see to the matter. There are wars fought against our enemies overseas every day, but we have just as many enemies to war with on our own soil. That’s what we do here.”

Dec took her empty plate to the sink and rinsed it out, and she thought about what he said. She was glad to be in the percentage of people who didn’t really know how much danger humanity was in on a daily basis. She was just fine with being as oblivious as the next person.

“Let me ask you something, Soph,” he said, drying his hands on a dishtowel before coming to stand just to the side of her. “When was the last time you felt pleasure? Just for yourself?”

She jumped slightly as the sound of his voice slid across her skin and her face heated in embarrassment. Had it been that obvious? He hadn’t moved closer, but it felt as if the space around her was smaller, and it was sure as hell harder to breathe.

“I know what Kane did to you during your marriage, and if I could kill him again for that alone I would, but when was the last time you felt pleasure, any pleasure, during sex?”

Sophia stood abruptly from the stool, making it wobble slightly as she caught her balance on the edge of the table.

“Considering I haven’t had sex in six years, I couldn’t tell you.”

“What Kane did to you wasn’t sex. What he did was unconscionable, and you shouldn’t confuse the two. Rape was his choice—his cruelty. I know you remember what sex can be between two people—how it should always be about mutual pleasure.”

“It doesn’t matter, Dec. Kane managed to ruin that for me too. The last time I had an orgasm was the day you left on that last mission. It doesn’t matter how hard I try or that I can feel myself teetering right on the edge. I can’t do it anymore. And the more you tempt and tease me the more painful it becomes.”

“But what if I’m the one who can give you what you need? Would it be so bad to lay back and let me give you the pleasure you’ve been longing for? To be selfish for a change and take without having to give in return?”

“I can’t.” The words were barely a whisper and she closed her eyes to keep from seeing the pity she was sure would be in his gaze. “I’ve already tried.”

“Then it shouldn’t hurt to let me try.”

“I can’t let you touch me again. I need some sense of self-preservation. And your hands on me is not the way to protect myself against getting hurt.”

“So I won’t touch you with my hands. Only my mouth. You’ll be in control.”

“Ha. Have I ever been in control around you?”

“Let me give you pleasure, Soph. Let me try to give you what no one else can. There are no expectations here. Only your pleasure.”

Her breasts grew heavy with need and her nipples tightened to hard points and rasped against the silk of the robe. Her arousal had only grown in the few hours they’d been in each others’ company. She could feel the proof slick on the insides of her thighs.

Her breath caught as he reached out to tug at the knot of the robe, and not once did his fingers ever touch her skin or press against her. The robe fell open, the black silk a dark contrast to her pale skin.

“My God, Soph.” She grabbed at the robe and started to pull it closed again. “No, don’t cover yourself. A woman with a body like yours should never be covered. I’d take the body you have today every time over the body you had at nineteen.”

She somehow found the courage to look him in the face, to see if he was really that good a liar, but all she saw was his eyes turn a dark and turbulent grey and a slight flush of desire mantle his cheekbones. Her gaze traveled down his chest and farther down until she saw his straining erection trapped behind the zipper of his jeans.

“Just my mouth,” he said again. “Nothing else until you’re ready.”

“Declan—”

“You’re thinking too hard, baby. It’s just pleasure. Are you going to let me see the rest of that sexy body, or are you going to keep hiding behind the robe? It’s your choice.”

Sophia knew he was waiting for her to make a decision. Would she run away like a coward or would she rise to the challenge and see if he could give her what her body desired?

She wanted the pleasure. She quickly shrugged the robe off her shoulders before she could change her mind.

“Jesus,” he whispered. “You’re so f*cking beautiful. Better than my dreams. And believe me, Soph, I had a lot of dreams in the last ten years.”

“Talk about being honest,” she said, anger whipping inside of her from nowhere, warring with the arousal of her body. “You’re telling me you dreamed of me while you f*cked all those other women? Kane made sure to tell me about the waitress you picked up in Shanghai and the others along the way.”

“Kane and I were never in Shanghai together, but I won’t lie and say there weren’t other women. I didn’t stop living during the last ten years. You belonged to someone else, and I thought you were happy. My body had needs, just like the ones you’re denying yourself by trying to pick a fight right now. But my dreams were something I never had any control of, and I couldn’t tell you how many nights I woke up in a sweaty tangle of sheets with my dick so hard it was painful to the touch.”

He moved a step closer and Sophia took a step back so she stood flat against the island. Her hands gripped the edge behind her and she stood frozen as he drew closer.

“Just my mouth,” he reminded her.

Sophia cried out in surprise as his head lowered and his mouth covered a sensitive nipple. He suckled it, his tongue rasping over the turgid peak, and wicked sensations flexed deep in her womb at every hard draw of his mouth. The folds between her thighs were swollen and the tiny bud of her * pulsed harder and stronger with every flick of his tongue.

Her head fell back on her shoulders and her grip on the counter tightened as she tried to stay upright. Just the touch of his mouth on her breasts was more pleasure than she’d imagined possible, and her moan came out as a sob for more as he pulled away and switched to the other breast.

“I can’t wait to touch you with my hands again, to feel the weight of your breasts against my palms. I’ve always loved touching your breasts. The way they plump up in my hands when you’re turned on and the way they feel against my chest when I’m buried inside of you. But not tonight. Tonight is only for my mouth.”

Declan ran his tongue between the valley of her breasts, licking and kissing the underside, before trailing lower to her stomach.

He was giving her a precious gift. There were no expectations. No pressure. And she realized she trusted him to keep his word when he said there’d be nothing more until she was ready. This moment was about her orgasm and nothing more. And it was incredibly freeing.

His teeth nipped at the slight swell of her belly before he soothed it with his tongue, and then he dropped completely to his knees in front of her and he kissed her once just above her pubic bone before he sat back on the heels of his feet.

“Spread your legs a little wider,” he rasped. “I want to see all of you.”

Breathing seemed impossible and her heart hammered inside her chest at the anticipation. She slowly widened her stance so she was completely bared to him, and her cheeks heated in embarrassment when she realized there was no hiding her desire.

“So f*cking beautiful.” The whisper of his breath teased against her swollen flesh and she shuddered as chills pebbled her skin. “You’re going to have to be my hands. Touch yourself for me, baby. Hold yourself open so I can lick every inch of you.”

She moaned at the image his words brought to mind. Declan had a power over her she couldn’t explain. She should have been mortified at what he was asking her to do, but her body obeyed the command before her brain had processed the thought.

Her hands went to her breasts first, squeezing them, tweaking both nipples as she massaged the sensitive mounds of flesh.

“Mmm, I could come just watching you. You know what I want, Soph. I’m ready to taste you.”

Sophia was lost in herself. In her pleasure. And she took her time roaming and rediscovering her body. Her hands trailed over her stomach and into the golden thatch of curls between her thighs. Slickness met her fingers and electric fingers of pleasure streaked through her body as she touched the distended bud of nerves between her folds, her fingers spreading the syrup of her desire as she teased herself.

And then his mouth was there with her fingers and she cried out as the heat scorched straight to her soul. His tongue stroked slowly through the swollen folds of her p-ssy, lapping up the cream that gathered there before probing and sending light licks of torture over her *. The edge of release was within her grasp, just that quickly, but he knew where to touch, where to tease, to keep her from reaching her goal. She growled in frustration as she felt it slip through her fingers again.

“Patience, my love.” His words vibrated against her p-ssy and she moaned at the sensation. “The build up will only make it better.”

“Or worse,” she panted.

His tongue was like the softest velvet as it laved against her with hungry strokes. He circled around and around the underside of her * before moving back to the weeping entrance of her p-ssy. Her hands gripped the back of his head and pulled him closer, and the groan of satisfaction that rumbled from his throat vibrated against her sensitized flesh.

Sophia fought to hold back her screams of more, but finally it was too much.

“God, Dec. Please. Please. Make me come. I need to come.”

Her chest wound tight with excitement as he heeded her wishes and his tongue moved faster. She gripped his head tighter and her hips began moving against him, undulating in time with his tongue.

“Declan!” She exploded into a million fragments of light and color. He drank in the flood of her release as a starburst of pleasure zinged through her body in an orgasm so intense that it weakened her legs. Her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground beside him, her breathing erratic and perspiration coating her skin. The thought of moving seemed impossible and she wondered if Declan would bring her a pillow and a blanket so she could sleep where she lay.

“Is this the part where you say I told you so?” she asked.

Declan laughed and got to his feet, and she rolled her eyes up in time to see the grimace of pain on his face as he readjusted the hard length trapped behind his zipper.

“You should probably get a couple of hours sleep,” he said, his voice gruff. “I’ve still got some work to do, so you’re welcome to use the bed. I’ll wake you up when Darcy gets here.”

He stared down at her and she could see the triumph of satisfaction in his eyes amidst the pain of discomfort.

“Do you need help standing or can you make it?”

“I’m good,” she finally managed to say. She took the robe he offered and wrapped it around her body before standing shakily.

Dec rubbed a hand over the top of his head and then headed toward the control room. She didn’t know if she should thank him or call him back for more. In the end she just watched him walk away.