Kane’s voice broke, and he gritted his teeth, refusing to give in to the confusion overwhelming him. Connor’s hand formed a solid warmth in the middle of his back, and Kane took a breath, trying to steady himself before he spoke again.
“Did you tell him that?” Connor asked. “Did you tell him you want him?”
“Yeah.” Kane nodded and ran his hands through his hair, frustrated at the man he’d left behind in a bed he wanted to share. “We’ve known each other for what? A couple of weeks? It’s not some damned fairy tale where I kiss him and everything’s okay. He’s fucked up, Con. Really fucked up, and it kills me. I hate that this crap happened to him. I hate that no one gave a shit about him, and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.”
“Do you love him?” Connor pressed. “You know what that feels like, K. Do you love him? Or just pity him? You’ve got enough scars on you from pitying things.”
“I don’t know,” Kane admitted. “Honestly? It’s not pity. It isn’t. Could I love him? Shit, Con, I like him. It’s good with us. He makes me feel… electric… inside. I think about him. I wonder what he’s doing and if he’s eaten something for lunch. I like that he sings when he’s not thinking about it. It’s like he has a constant soundtrack going. He makes me… feel, Con. He makes me feel like I’m more than I am when I’m with him. Even when he’s giving me shit about something, it feels good.”
“Then love him.” His brother rubbed the middle of Kane’s back, tapping along his spine with his fingers. “If he makes you feel good, then he’s good for you. It’s not rocket science, K.”
When he was a kid, he trailed after Connor, wanting more than anything to be just like his older brother. Sitting next to him on the pew they’d waged their Sunday battles on, Kane realized not much had changed. He still wanted to be just like his slightly older but much wiser brother.
“What about the other… shit?” Kane turned his head to look at Connor. “What do I do about the crap that he’s gone through. Suppose he can’t deal with me touching him?”
“Has he had sex before? With other guys?”
“Yeah,” Kane said, frowning. “Sort of. Kind of back room shit. Nothing serious. Not a relationship.”
“Then don’t you think he’ll be okay with someone who actually likes him?” Connor asked. “Sometimes, little brother, you complicate shit you don’t need to. Talk to him. Kiss the fuck out of him and go from there. If you’re going to give him anything, make him feel safe. Make sure he knows he can say no if things get too much for him.”
“You think it’s that easy?” Kane eyed his brother.
“Nope,” Connor said, shaking his head. “I think you’re going to have a fucking hard time of it, but let me ask you; is he worth it?”
Kane didn’t have to think hard. He remembered Miki sitting up on the counter as he cooked, singing an old tune by Aerosmith while Kane grilled their steaks. He loved the flash of gold in the man’s hazel eyes when Sanchez pushed him too hard and the jut of Miki’s chin as he defied Kane’s temper to defend a dog he loved but was afraid would move on. He wanted to kiss away the pain on Miki’s mouth when his knee was bothering him and lick at the man’s dark plum nipples until Miki’s hands were digging into Kane’s shoulders.
Most of all, Kane wanted to hear Miki’s husky voice rasp his name as he stretched him open with a thrust of his cock and moan with need when Kane’s arms cradled him close.
“Yeah, he’s worth it,” Kane whispered.
“Then quit being a selfish dick. Stop thinking about how you’re going to deal with this and concentrate on how he’s going to get through it,” Connor scolded in his soft, deep voice. “The shit that’s happened to him is his shit. So you get a little bit on you. So fucking what? You should be wading in it to reach him… to pull him out of it. You’re a Morgan. Act like one. Act like the baby brother I know I have.”
Kane smirked, turning his head to the side so his brother couldn’t see his face. Connor slapped him on the shoulder anyway, the sound echoing in the vastness of the church’s interior.
“Thanks, Con,” he said, rubbing at the sting Connor left behind. “For stopping.”
“No worries,” Connor said. He stood, nudging his brother with his fist. “Come on. You’ve got to go deal with falling in love. I’ll go make your excuses to Mom for you. Call me if there’s any more shit that happens.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Kane followed his brother out, shuffling sideways to get out of the pew. “Tell Mom I said I love her and I’ll give her a call.”
“Oh no,” his older brother replied caustically. “I’ll tell her you’re skipping dinner. Sucking up to her? You’re going to have to do that all on your own, little brother.”
HE WAS woken up by a kiss.