Shame on Me

Matt puts his hands on either side of my face and forces me to look up at him. “Don’t do that. Don’t lump me into the same category as Andy. I have never treated you like you were defenseless or weak. You are one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. I care about you, Paige. And I’m just worried about you. I don’t want anything happening to you.”

 

Bringing my hands up to rest on top of his against my cheeks, I sigh and smile at him.

 

“I’m a private investigator, Matt. I may not have a lot of experience in the field, but this is what I do. If I want people to take me seriously as a PI, then I need to be able to handle my personal life on my own. I am not going to let you bail my ex-husband out of the mess he got himself into. It’s not your problem.”

 

“It’s not your problem either, Paige,” he tells me softly.

 

“But I’m going to take care of it anyway, on my own.”

 

More shouting interrupts our moment.

 

“Stop being such an egotistical brute!”

 

“At least I’m not an uptight bitch!” Dallas yells back to her.

 

“You two need to just have sex already,” I mutter with a shake of my head.

 

 

 

I can’t believe I’m doing this again. I swore I was done with this business when I left Andy, and yet, here I am, sitting in a chair getting poked and prodded with curling irons, mascara wands, and tubes of lipstick. Five minutes back in this business and I already feel only good for one thing.

 

My agent, Penny, comes bustling up to me with a huge grin on her face.

 

“Darling, it’s so good to see you back doing what you do best. Didn’t I tell you that police-officer thing was silly?”

 

Moving away from the makeup artist with a brush aimed at my eye, I turn to look at Penny. “I’m not working as a police officer. I told you, it’s a private investigation business.”

 

Penny laughs and checks her reflection in the mirror in front of me, fluffing up her hair and wiping a smudge of lipstick off of her teeth.

 

“Same thing. Stick with what you’re good at, darling. You’ll only have your looks for so long.”

 

Satisfied with her reflection, Penny pats me on the shoulder and walks away to shout orders at the photographer and his assistants.

 

“Can I have a few minutes, please?” I ask the makeup artist, whose name I didn’t get.

 

“I’m finished. Just don’t get your face wet or go outside. It’s windy, and it will take me forever to get those curls just right again.”

 

She walks away quickly in a huff. It’s always the same thing at these photo shoots. Everyone treats me like I’m an idiot.

 

“Wow, you look—”

 

“Don’t say it. Please don’t say it,” I warn Matt as he comes up behind me and stares at my reflection.

 

I really don’t need to hear him tell me how beautiful and amazing I look. It’s not really me. It’s just makeup and hairspray. And besides, they’re going to Photoshop the heck out of me anyway.

 

But this is who I used to be and he needs to get a glimpse of that.

 

Even though I said I was going to do this on my own, I wanted Matt to be here with me. If he’s going to trust me, he needs to see all of me—the good, the bad, and the modeling. In the midst of all the craziness going on with his life—meeting with lawyers and talking to his board of directors to get all of their ducks in a row before they have to go to court against Melanie—he took the time out of his busy schedule to show up for this shoot. If I didn’t know it already, this would just solidify the fact that I’m falling hard for him.

 

“I was going to tell you that you look like the Bride of Frankenstein with all that crap on your face. I think a few pictures of you just wearing one of my T-shirts would be much better.”

 

I feel tears well up in my eyes and I blink quickly to keep them contained, but it’s no use. A few slide down my face and I swipe them away before anyone notices I messed up my makeup.

 

“Oh, great. Now I’m going to have to fix her foundation. Who made her cry?!” I hear the makeup artist shout from somewhere behind us but I don’t care. Matt just said the most wonderful words to me ever.

 

I stare at him through the mirror while my foundation is re-applied. He walks up closer and rests his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry. I should know better than to insult a beautiful woman.”

 

I laugh and shake my head at him. “Believe me, that wasn’t an insult. That was beautiful.”

 

The makeup artist touches up my face, shooting Matt dirty looks the entire time.

 

“I can’t believe this is what your life was like for so many years. People dressing you and fussing over you. Did you see the craft service table over there? There’s lobster on it, Paige. Lobster,” he stresses with a smile.

 

“I know. It’s hard to believe I gave all of this up for the glamorous life of catching bad guys. I’m lucky if Kennedy brings in bagels once a month.”

 

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