Shadow of My Heart

chapter Eight



“Really, this is unprecedented. What are you doing in this patient’s bed?” a haughty voice asked.

Raven opened one eye and looked up at the irate nurse standing over him. “Be quiet, you’ll wake her up,” he growled.

“Hmph,” the nurse said, stalking out the door and calling for Dr. Rick. She must be new, Raven mused as he looked down at Cara sleeping soundly in his arms. The swelling in her one eye looked like it was going down, but the bruises had turned a dark purple. He better keep her away from a mirror.

Just then, Dr. Rick walked into the room followed by the indignant nurse.

“Good morning, Raven. I can see that Cara slept well last night. Nurse Eschbach, this is Raven Darkwood, CEO of Isanti, Inc. Your boss, by the way. Raven, Cara is going to wake up anytime now and need more pain medication. Let the nurse take her vital signs, and you might want to get clothes on.”

“I’m sure Nurse Eschbach has seen it before, Rick,” Raven said, smugly pleased when the nurse blushed.

“Yes, but Quiet Thunder and Gwen came to visit. They’re waiting down the hall.”

“Well, Gwen definitely has seen it before,” Raven said.

“Well, really,” Nurse Eschbach exclaimed. “Shameless.”

“Raven, must you act this way?” Dr. Rick complained. “Nurse Eschbach came highly recommended.”

I don’t like her bedside manner, Raven sent on the tribal telepathic link, and I’m not sure I like her.

“Nurse Eschbach, perhaps if you start with Derek Red Hawk in the next room,” Dr. Rick said with a sigh.

“As you wish, Doctor,” she said with disdain and left the room.

“She is entirely too haughty. Fire her,” Raven said in a voice that brooked no exceptions.

“Raven, I need nurses. With tribal members Shadow-walking in and out, I need people who will sign confidentiality forms and have top-secret clearances.”

“If you want her to stay, have her work on someone else. I don’t want to hear any remarks that will upset Cara.”

“Not to worry. I can take Cara’s vitals while I’m here.”

Whether it was the raised voices or the pain medicine wearing off, Cara started to wake up. Both Dr. Rick and Raven fell quiet as her eyes fluttered and slowly opened.

“Hello, Beautiful. How are you feeling?” Raven asked gently.

“Sore. My face hurts, and my ribs ache.”

“I have medicine right here for you, Miss Hamilton,” Dr. Rick said, approaching the side of the bed with a small paper cup in his hand. “Let me get you a glass of water. Then, I need to take your blood pressure and check your temperature. We need to know if you are running any kind of fever.”

“Thank you, Doctor. How long do I need to stay in the hospital?” Cara asked, taking the cup of water and dutifully swallowing the pills.

“This is the private clinic of Isanti, Inc. You can stay here in the clinic, or you can stay in Raven’s apartment upstairs if you wish. Your ribs and bruises are going to be sore for a while. Good, no fever. Let me put the cuff on you. Quiet please. Good. Now, there is no reason you need to stay here if you feel well enough to get up and move around. Time and rest is all you require. If you feel you need help handling your emotions, I have the phone number of a brilliant counselor.”

“I want to take a shower,” Cara said, shuddering. Wash off the feeling of being dirty.

Raven caught Cara’s uncensored thought and frowned. Her mind seemed to be verging on panic with her thoughts and feelings swirling around in a cyclone. He automatically sent reassurance and love into her mind.

“Of course, Cara. I will help you.”

“No, that is. I think I can do this myself,” Cara said.

“The bathroom is over there. Let Raven help you until you feel steady on your feet. There is a bench in the shower and a call button if you need help,” Dr. Rick explained.

“Derek. Did they kill him? I saw them shoot him,” Cara began, as the fear of the previous night slammed into her, and she began to tremble. Raven’s arms automatically tightened around her, and she let him comfort her if only for a moment.

“Cara, Derek is fine. He is right next door enjoying the attention of Nurse Eschbach.” Calm down, tehila. You are safe and so is my brother.

Cara bit her lip and tried to hold in the tears that still wanted to pour out. What was wrong with her? She had become a frightened rabbit, but she wasn’t going to let fear win.

I’m sorry, Raven, Cara answered telepathically.

“Do not ever apologize to me about this. You did nothing wrong. You were strong and resilient. You saved Derek’s life. I am sorry this happened to you. If you need to place blame, place it on the terrorists who attacked you.”

“All right. I know you are right, Raven. Can you loosen your hold? You’re crushing me.”

“I’m so sorry, Cara,” Raven said, loosening his hold but not releasing her. ”The thought of what might have happened terrifies me. I almost lost you.”

“I’m right here, a little worse for wear maybe, but here. Did you think to bring me some clothes to wear? Shadow destroyed my outfit from last night. How do you ever stay warm in there?” Cara asked, trying to lighten the mood. Not that she would have wanted to wear that dress again. Adar ruined it before Shadow disintegrated the man-made fibers.

“As a matter of fact, clothes are being fetched for you. Until then, perhaps Dr. Rick has some scrubs you can wear. Or I can fetch you a terrycloth robe.”

“Whichever is quickest. I just want to wash up.”

“I will help Cara with getting her shower. Can you tell Quiet Thunder and Gwen to give us a half hour or so?” Raven asked.

“Of course,” Dr. Rick said. “I’ll have a robe brought down for her. Raven insists that each guest room has two of these blue robes with the Isanti logo embroidered on them. They are very comfortable. I’m sure housekeeping has a few extras on hand.”

Cara nodded and waited for everyone to stop fussing. All she wanted was for them to get out. She felt so dirty. Those men, touching her, wanting to rape her, all because she was dating a Shadow-walker. Could she be a part of this world?

Dr. Rick pulled the curtains around the bed and left. Raven slipped from the bed and walked around it to help Cara get up.

“Raven, you aren’t wearing any clothes.”

“Neither are you, tehila.”

“Yes, but . . .”

“I will dress after I get you settled in the shower. Besides, no one should be walking in on us. Careful, you mustn’t pull the sutures on your thigh. Let me hold you a minute,” Raven said, helping Cara stand and then steadying her.

“That pain medicine must be really good. I feel a little woozy.”

“Let’s see if it passes. I don’t want you injuring yourself trying to shower.”

“Raven, I need to shower. I need to wash them off,” Cara said, her tone of voice going up an octave.

“All right, Cara. We’ll get you washed up, baby.”

“I just feel so awful,” Cara said, bursting into tears.

Raven swore as he lifted Cara into his arms and carried her into the bathroom. He set her carefully on the bench inside the shower and turned the taps on to warm. He took off the showerhead and handed it to Cara before picking her up and setting her on his lap.

He just held her and let her cry as she rinsed her hair. Then, he handed her a washcloth and soap, and she scrubbed her skin. When she would have continued to rub her skin, he took the cloth from her hands and washed her gently, while murmuring how much he adored each part of her body that he washed.

Finally, he soaped her hair with shampoo and rinsed it out.

“All right, tehila. All clean. Let me get some towels.”

Cara rubbed her eyes and tried for a watery smile. “I’m being such a baby.”

“You are my baby, and you can be any way you want. I love you, Cara.”

“I love you, too. Thank you for saving me last night.”

“I will always come for you, Cara. No one will keep us apart for long.”

Raven dried Cara off gently before squeezing the water from her hair and wrapping a towel around it. Then, he picked her up and carried her back to the hospital bed. Sitting on the end of the bed were two terrycloth robes still wrapped in plastic. Raven opened one and helped Cara into it before tying the sash around her waist. He slipped on the second one just as there was a knock at the door.

Raven walked over and opened the curtain. Nurse Eschback stood on the other side of the glass door with a tray of food in her hands. Sighing, he opened the door.

“Dr. Rick thought Miss Hamilton might need something to eat,” she said defensively.

“I’ll take it. Can you ask Mr. Quiet Thunder and his daughter to come down now?”

“Of course . . . Sir,” she said, adding the honorific as an afterthought.

Raven watched the nurse walk down the hall. Why did she have such animosity toward him when they had just met? He’d have to call Joe and have him check into Nurse Eschbach.



§



Isanti Quiet Thunder walked into the room just as Raven finished moving a table over to hold the food tray he held in one hand. Cara was struck anew at the quiet dignity of the older man. His long, silver braids made her think about how he must have looked as a young brave. He removed his hat and walked over to the side of the bed, taking Cara’s hand in his.

“You have suffered much, Little Mother. I have brought you one of my special tonics. Please drink this. It will help with the healing of your injuries.”

“Thank you, Sir. You are very kind,” Cara said, taking the bottle.

“Isanti, please. I am not sure my foster children would agree with you, but I do my best for them.”

“Everyone loves you, Dad, and you know it,” Gwen said, carrying a vase of flowers into the room and setting them on a counter by the door. “How are you feeling, Cara? Well enough to come out to the ranch?”

“Well, I don’t really know. Maybe in a few days,” Cara stammered.

“Drink the tonic. Gwen, give her a moment,” Quiet Thunder insisted.

Cara looked at the glass in her hand, then at Raven. He nodded his head, encouraging her. So, afraid of the taste, she swallowed the tonic quickly. She was finishing it when she realized it didn’t taste bad at all. She was about to ask what was in the concoction, when the room started spinning. Cara cried out, reaching for Raven. But when the room came to a standstill everything went dark.

“What have you given her?” Raven demanded.

“A much-needed healing draught. When she wakes up, her wounds will be completely healed, and her thoughts will be distanced from the trauma.”

“Couldn’t you at least let her eat first? She hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. Isanti, if I didn’t respect you so much, I would be tempted to punch you.”

“See, just as I said. Not all my foster children think I am kind.”

“Oh, Dad,” Gwen said, shaking her head and sighing.



§



Cara woke up to find herself in a large mahogany sleigh bed. Sunlight from the windows shone brightly on her face. Feeling groggy, she wiped her eyes. Where was she? Her mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and her stomach ached. Sitting up, she rubbed it, then glanced around the room. A picture of her taken at the Isanti awards banquet sat on the table next to the bed. On the warm-beige walls were pictures of horses running across the plains. Was this Raven’s apartment?

“Hey, Beautiful. How are you feeling?” Raven asked, coming into the room and sitting on the side of the bed. He looked relaxed in his blue jeans and Western shirt, the sleeves rolled up to show his arms. His hair hung down around his shoulders.

“Confused. Where are we?”

“This is my apartment in the Isanti, Inc., building. We are on the top floor. My office and the conference room are down the hall and to the right. I ordered some food for you. It should be arriving any minute. You must be starving.”

Just then Cara’s stomach growled, and they both looked down at the offending area.

Chuckling, she rubbed it. “I guess I am. How long have I been asleep?”

“Two days. I couldn’t believe it myself and called Quiet Thunder to question him. His reply was that it takes time to heal wounds of the spirit,” Raven said, reaching out and brushing her hair off her face. “You look so much better. Do you have any pain?”

Cara took a moment to really feel. Surprisingly she felt fine, good even. She lifted the hem of one of her favorite cotton nightgowns, and there were no marks on her thigh. Turning her wrists, she noticed that they were also healed. But most important, she wasn’t afraid. She could remember the attack, but her emotions seemed to be muted somehow.

“What exactly did Isanti give me? Whatever it is, you should sell it. I bet you could make millions.”

“No one knows the exact recipe but him. I’m glad you are better, tehila. You scared me.”

Raven turned toward the door when they both heard a knock. “Let me get that. I’m not sure what Dr. Rick recommended for your first meal, but the food here is very good.” Rising from the bed, Raven pulled the comforter up around Cara, before moving toward the door.

Cara smiled and looked around for a clock. The digital display said two p.m. Thinking back, she realized it must be Monday afternoon. Raven walked into the room, pushing a cart with several covered dishes on it, as well as a bottle of orange juice and two carafes.

“Shouldn’t you be at work on a Monday afternoon?”

“I took some time off. Being the boss does have its benefits,” Raven said, removing the covers from the dishes. Looks like the doctor wants you to eat meat. There is a roast beef sandwich with fries, a bowl of chicken soup, some fruit, and a turkey club. What would you like to eat?”

“The fries sound good. I guess I’ll take the roast beef sandwich.”

Raven handed her the plate and poured her a glass of orange juice to go with it, setting it on the table next to the bed. He pulled up a chair to the other side and picked up the plate with the turkey club, before sitting down and taking a big bite.

“I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I saw the food,” Raven said. “After you eat, I’ll take you on a tour of the apartment. I want you to stay here with me, Cara.”

Her mouth full of food, Cara choked and gasped. Grabbing the orange juice, she took a long drink. “Move in with you?”

“Well yes, we have a wedding to plan, and I want to be close to you. Wait, let me do this the right way.”

Walking over to the dresser, Raven picked up a black-velvet box, then turning, went down on one knee. “Cara Hamilton, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

“Raven, I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say, yes, Baby. I know what happened was traumatic, but you have to know I love you. Give us a chance.”

Cara looked into Raven’s pleading eyes. Could she do it? She did love him, but the attack was still upsetting to her, even though she wasn’t afraid anymore. Was she willing to take the risk of loving this man?

“Tehila, please. I will do anything to have you.”

“Raven, don’t say that. I’m not asking for anything. Please get up. I’m just not sure I can live in your world. It’s scary and dangerous. I could lose you.” It hurt seeing him like this, a proud man willing to do anything to have her.

“Cara, there is more chance of me being killed in a car accident than being killed by terrorists,” Raven said, rising to his feet and moving to sit next to her on the bed. “I know you are brave and courageous. If you let them change your life, then they win. Don’t let them win, tehila. Don’t let them keep us apart. Fight for us. Want me enough to take the risk.”

Cara blinked, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to spill at bay. Was that what she was doing? Letting them win. She loved Raven. Being his wife was a dream come true.

“I’m afraid I’m not strong enough, Raven.”

“Of course you are, Cara,” Raven said, wiping the tear away that rolled down her cheek. “Anyone who teaches thirty third-graders is strong. Give us a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

Cara reached out and cupped Raven’s face in her hand. She loved him so much. Pulling her strength around her like a cloak, she leaned forward and gently kissed him. “All right, Raven. I would be honored to be your wife.”

Raven opened the box and pulled out the large diamond engagement ring. Then, he placed the ring on her finger, kissing it into place. He grabbed her close, hugging her to him and spilling the rest of her sandwich on the bed. He kissed her voraciously, and Cara went pliant in his arms.

“Thank you, Great Spirit! You are my world, Cara, my happiness.”

Cara laughed, her heart filling with joy and delight. “I am also covered in food. Why don’t you let me get up and shower? Then, we can strip the bed.”

“Come here,” Raven said, swinging her out of the bed and into his arms. He carried her to the chair and sat with Cara perched on his lap. “You need to eat. Here, have my fruit. I don’t want you getting ill from lack of nourishment.”

“If I did, Isanti would just feed me another one of his tonics,” Cara said, chuckling.

“Probably, but then you might sleep for two more days. I want to be with you, Cara. Not sleeping beauty.”

“Would you kiss me and wake me up?”

“Of course, but I’d rather kiss you now while you’re awake and can kiss me back,” Raven said, popping a grape into her mouth, then following it with a kiss. Cara sighed in contentment. Raven could kiss the socks off her or in this case the nightgown.

I heard that, Raven sent into her mind as he kissed her again. Cara’s face grew warm. She’d forgotten he could read her thoughts. Reaching over to the table, Cara picked up a piece of banana and rubbed it on Raven’s nose.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Raven said, picking up a piece of strawberry and mashing it on her hair. She retaliated by grabbing the glass of orange juice and pouring the contents onto Raven’s chest.

Cara couldn’t help but laugh at the astounded look on Raven’s face.

“Hey, that was cold,” he complained, tickling Cara’s sides before pulling her tight against him for another kiss. Now, her nightgown was also covered in orange juice.

“Not fair,” she complained, before opening her mouth for another grape from Raven’s fingers. Glancing down, she leaned over to lick a rivulet of orange juice flowing down Raven’s chest. “Mmm, sweet.”

“Not as sweet as you, tehila,” Raven said.

Just then, a knock on the door heralded the end of their fun. Raven glanced at the door, then down at his chest. Shrugging his shoulders, he got up and placed Cara in the chair.

“I’ll be right back, you little vixen. Eat the rest of the fruit cup.”

Cara laughed but reached for another piece of strawberry and popped it in her mouth.

Raven walked over and opened the door. Joe stood on the other side, holding Cara’s suitcase. He looked first at Raven’s orange-juice plastered chest and then at the banana on his nose.

“I see you enjoyed your lunch,” Joe said, chuckling. “Here are Cara’s clothes. If you have time later, your brother is causing a ruckus in the clinic. He wants to be released, but Rick isn’t sure he’s ready.”

“I’ll go talk to him.”

“You might want to shower first.”

Raven just looked at Joe. Of course, he needed a shower. But playing with Cara was worth any mess they might make. Just the fact she felt playful after the attack was a good sign.

“Well, I’ve been looking into Cara’s attack,” Joe said. “I think her boss, the principal, may have sold her address to the terrorists.”

“If you find proof, I want him brought up on charges,” Raven said, anger surging up. Damn Davidson and his prejudice.

“It will be my pleasure. I’ll let you know what I find.”

“Thanks, Joe.”

“Go, enjoy your mate.”

“Don’t worry, I plan on enjoying every minute with her,” Raven said, closing the door and turning back to the bedroom. Cara stood in the doorway, a smirk on her face. She must not have heard about Davidson. If she had, she would be upset. Setting his anger aside, Raven smiled at her light heartedness.

“I’ll race you to the bathroom,” she said, turning to run.

Raven dropped the suitcase and jumped forward and scooped her up.

“Hey, you’re cheating.”

“No, tehila. I’m winning,” Raven said, carrying Cara into the shower and turning on the taps. Laughing, Cara turned her face into the warm water.

“Raven, our clothes.”

“They needed washing for some reason,” he said, laughing. “Besides you look good in wet cotton.”

Cara looked down at her now see-through nightgown. Laughing again, she lifted it off and dropped it to the floor before reaching for the snaps on Raven’s shirt. Quickly yanking the front of the shirt open, she pushed it off Raven’s shoulders and onto the shower floor.

“Now your jeans. It’s a good thing you don’t have any shoes on.”

“Shoes wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“I know. That’s part of what I love about you. When you do something, you go all the way.”

“What about you, Cara? Are you going to go all the way?”

Cara had a feeling Raven wasn’t just talking about a possible tryst in the shower. He was talking about their relationship. Was she going to go all the way? Could she commit to being married to a Shadow Walker and the danger that could bring?