Shadow of My Heart

chapter Six



Two days, two days, Cara had refused to answer his phone calls. When he touched her mind, she ignored him, refusing to reply. Or worse, she started reciting the alphabet. Pacing in his office, Raven didn’t know what to do. This was a first. He was the commander of a black ops team, a Shadow Walker, and one woman had turned his world upside down. If she didn’t answer her phone, he was going to storm the castle so to speak and . . . and . . .

“Girl trouble?” Derek said, appearing out of the shadows in the corner of Raven’s office and flopping down in a chair.

“What are you doing here? Who is watching Cara?”

“Joe took over for me,” Derek said. “I needed a couple of hours of sleep. Cara told me to stay outside her apartment. She’s a spitfire, that one. Anything more on Amanda?”

“It appears her treachery was just a fit of jealousy,” Raven said. “But she did receive a $4,000 payment to her bank account. Now that I have the evidence, I'm afraid we'll have to have her arrested.”

“That's too bad. I never meant for this to happen,” Derek said. “At least she only sold the terrorists the photograph. It will take more than a photo for them to go after Cara. You need to stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy.”

“We released publicity pictures of the annual awards banquet,” Raven said. “As a winner, Cara’s name is listed. So the terrorists have more than her picture. They have her name and the name of her school. I let it be known that you are out of town on business, so no one will question your absence. Don't let anyone see you in the building. I called our contacts in the military. Except for the brochure, they don't know how the Isanti, Inc., connection was leaked.”

“That’s worrisome. Could it be the mole in the admiral’s office?”

“He’s still looking into it,” Raven said. “Go get some sleep. I want you back on watch as soon as possible.”

“Why, is your spidey-sense tingling?”

“Not funny, Derek. But yes, I can feel danger coming. I just don’t know from where.” How could he keep Cara safe if he didn’t know where the danger would come from or when?

“Joe will keep Cara safe until I get back. Don’t worry so much.”

“How can I not?” Raven said. “She is everything I want. She won’t even answer my phone calls.” That really burned him. Why wouldn’t she at least talk to him about it?

“Give her some time. I’ve heard her muttering to herself. She is feeling overwhelmed. Let her work through it.”

“How can you understand? You don’t have a woman that you want more than anything.”

Derek grimaced and looked toward the door. “I better get to bed,” he said as he disappeared into the shadows as easily as he appeared.

“I wonder what that was about,” Raven said, shaking his head. Would he ever understand his little brother?



§



Cara typed the last grade into the school computer file and hit save. It was done, another year completed. The next two days would be filled with end-of-school parties and assemblies. All she had to do was ride herd on the students. No more homework for her or her students.

Cara stretched in her chair and powered down her computer. She felt the cool breeze of Shadow blow over her skin and frowned. This was getting silly. How long was Raven going to keep her under surveillance? They were already on day three. She didn’t even know who was watching her. It irked her that someone was always spying on her.

Picking up her purse, Cara turned off the light in her classroom and walked out to her car. She still didn’t know what to do about apologizing to Raven. She knew she had overreacted. His calling her several times a night was both irritating and sweet. She could feel him missing her.

She hadn’t been sleeping well the last two nights. She kept having bad dreams. She was lost, and Raven was calling for her, but she couldn’t answer him. Maybe she should go home and go to bed early. She was tired and cranky. But she didn’t want to take it out on her students. Pulling into her assigned parking spot, she walked up to her building. Someone must have just gone in because the door was still closing.

“Geez, anyone could just walk in.” She’d have to bring up the security of the building at the next homeowners meeting. Shaking her head, she got into the elevator and pushed number six to take her up to her floor.

She felt the cold air near the shadows in the corners of the elevator and squatted down to feel along the edges. There was a certain spot that looked like it wavered. She pushed her hand into that spot and gasped when her fingers disappeared. She wiggled her fingers. They were still there. But the cold was almost painful just as it is when you put your hand in a freezer. She pulled her hand back out and shook it, trying to warm her fingers. She stood up, making a fist and then stretching her fingers, trying to get the circulation going. They were still cold, and she put her hand under her arm to help warm it. Man, Shadow was cold. How Raven did this day after day was a mystery.

The elevator dinged, and Cara walked out on her floor. She fumbled with her keys, her fingers still stiff from the cold. Finally, she got the door unlocked and walked into her apartment. After closing the door, Cara gasped at the scene before her. An arrangement of roses sat on every table. The largest on her eating table had more than three-dozen pink roses mixed with baby’s breath, her favorite color. She walked over and buried her nose in a bloom, smelling deeply. She loved fragrant roses. Picking out the card, she opened it and read the message scrawled in Raven’s firm hand: I love you, please talk to me. What a romantic gesture. Of course, it looked as if Raven went a little overboard, or was desperate. It was kind of nice to think he might be desperate.

She walked over to the red-rose arrangement on her coffee table. Picking up the card, she read: Please talk to me, I need you. She put the card down and moved to the arrangement of yellow roses on the end table. The card read: Call me, I will come. I love you.

Sighing, Cara slipped off her shoes. Then, picking them up, she walked into her bedroom. Her bed was strewn with rose petals. An arrangement of blush roses sat on her nightstand, and when she looked into the bathroom, an arrangement of purple roses sat on the edge of her tub.

She smiled as she put her shoes in the closet and went into the bathroom to draw a bath. She picked out some bubble bath and poured it in the hot water. Then, she lit some candles and slipped off her clothes. Before stepping into the bathwater, she picked up one of the purple roses and pulled off the petals. She let them float in the bubbles as she sat down in the water. Releasing her hair from the elastic tie, she leaned back and closed her eyes.

Raven? she called across space and time. She felt the cool breeze of Shadow blow across her skin and smiled. Raven must have been waiting for her call and walked through Shadow immediately. When warm hands moved her hair to the side and began to massage her shoulders, she sighed. Raven always knew right where to touch her. He feathered kisses to her shoulders as he massaged the stress of the day away.

I missed you, tehila, gently floated into her mind. Cara liked how he kept their speech intimate and quiet.

What does that mean? tehila?

It means, Love. I love you, Cara, I can’t say it enough. Raven slowly reached for the sea sponge on the side of the tub and pressed the warm water from its center. Then, he began to wash her arms and chest, circling and teasing her breasts and her stomach beneath the water. Cara let tingles of arousal shoot through her system. Yes, she wanted him. She had missed him, missed his touch.

Moving around to the side, Raven lifted each foot and washed it with the sponge. Then, he moved up her calf to her thighs, hips, and her pelvis, teasing and tantalizing her skin with the sponge. When he was finished, Cara felt herself shivering in reaction. Every touch only inflamed her need.

Raven lifted a bath sheet and held it ready to engulf her. Come, let’s get you dry.

Cara slowly rose from the water, letting the bubbles gradually slide down her skin. She watched Raven’s eyes darken with passion and desire. She felt like Venus rising from the ocean. Raven stepped forward and wrapped the towel around her and then lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

He lay her down on the bed and reached up to unbutton his shirt. After he shrugged the shirt to the floor, he undid his pants and let them fall. He was fully erect, his shaft hard and glistening. Cara felt another moment of triumph. She had caused that reaction.

He stepped forward, and Cara sat up and reached out to take him with her hand. He was velvet over steel. His skin so soft, but rigid underneath, a drop of pre-cum forming on the head. Cara rubbed her thumb through the moisture and circled the top, causing Raven to shudder.

Release me, baby. I want this to last. Let me love you, Raven sent, pulling her hand free and laying her back on the bed. He followed her down, covering her body, his thigh parting her legs. He leaned down and kissed her breast, lightly licking at the water drops and then nipping, before taking her nipple into his mouth. He sucked and circled the little nubbin with his tongue, then bit down slightly, causing her to moan from the sensation. Cara clutched his head to her breast, not wanting him to stop. Her hands tangled in his shoulder-length black hair. He hummed, and the vibration tickled and scintillated her skin. Kissing his way across, he licked and kissed the other breast, giving it the same attention he had the first. His hair caused her skin to tingle, and overcome with sensations, she shivered.

Raven loved how Cara reacted to his touch. She tasted sweet, and he thought he could suck her breast for hours. Reaching down, he stroked her belly and inner thighs, before dipping down to her mound. He found her wet and ready for him as he pushed his finger into her folds.

“Yes, just like that,” Cara cried, rising up against his hand.

He circled her * and pushed a second finger into her. Cara gasped and shuddered. Raven could feel her tightening. He knew she was close. He rose up and removing his fingers, he replaced them with his shaft as he pushed into her. Slowly, giving her only an inch at a time, Raven teased her. Her eyes became dazed, and her body trembled. A flush rose slowly over her pale skin. Her head thrashed on the pillow. At that moment, he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He pushed the rest of the way through her folds in one thrust, and Cara exploded, her muscles clenching and pulling him in. He withdrew and thrust again.

“Oh, God, yes,” Cara cried out.

Her words only encouraged him, and he lifted her hips to seat himself deeper. Then, he continued to pound into her, marking and claiming what was his. Cara tightened her hold on his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. He felt her start to tremble, and her muscles began to tighten a second time.

“Come with me, Cara,” Raven encouraged her. Then, taking her mouth, he parroted the motions of his body with his tongue, flicking in and out as his shaft penetrated and withdrew. Cara’s tongue dueled with his, and then she sucked his tongue deep into her mouth, refusing to release him. They ate at each other’s mouths, filling each other up and then withdrawing to lick and nip.

Cara became as tight as a bowstring, then she flew apart, gasping. This time, Raven allowed himself to follow her, holding her tight against him, as he poured himself into her. They lay tangled and complete, their breathing ragged as they slowly came back down to earth.

Cara looked up at Raven’s face, his chocolate-brown eyes dark with desire as he gazed at her. “Wow, that was just, wow,” she said.

Raven chuckled and kissed her nose. “You do that to me—keep me in a state of amazement. Sometimes I can’t believe you’re mine.”



§



Raven hated to leave the next morning. As it was, with the time difference, he was late getting into the office. Mrs. Sloane looked up from her desk, her eyes twinkling.

“Long night?”

“Yes, but memorable.”

“There are all kinds of rumors floating around the office. Seems that the cold and distant Mr. Darkwood is smitten. Want to give me the scoop?”

“Since you ordered the flowers yesterday, what do you think?”

“That Miss Cara Hamilton of Redondo Beach is a lucky girl.”

Raven noticed the single red rose on Mrs. Sloane’s desk and quirked an eyebrow. “Did I buy you a flower too?”

“No, not that I don’t deserve one, but this is from my secret admirer.”

“You have an admirer here at work?”

“Ever since I moved here after Kevin died. At first it was just little notes to brighten my day, or candy or something. For a little while, I thought it was you, but I realized right away that you would just hand them to me, not leave them in secret.”

“Do you want me to ask Joe to find out who this is?”

“Of course not. That would take away the fun of guessing. Besides, I’m pretty sure Joe knows who it is and isn’t worried. Joe keeps an eye on everyone.”

“That’s true. Nothing gets by him.”

“Leave it for now. When I’m ready to know who it is, I’ll tell you.”

“All right, but if you ever feel uncomfortable, you let me know. I’ll put a stop to it.”

“Sure thing, Boss. Now get to work, I have reports to file.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Raven said, sauntering into his office. He paused briefly as he sat at his desk. Something tingled in his memory. Derek looking at the door yesterday, when Raven accused him of not knowing what it felt like to want a woman. Was Derek Katherine Sloane’s secret admirer? Joe would know. He’d ask him the next time he saw him.



§



Cara hurried home from work Friday night. Raven said he would arrive Saturday to spend the weekend. She needed to clean the apartment and decide what to wear. Principal Davidson was still acting strange. Cara had a sneaking suspicion he was looking for a way to fire her. But at this moment, Cara didn’t care. She was off work for three whole months. If Raven actually asked her to marry him, like Ana had suggested he would, she might not want to return to Rancho Vista Elementary.

Still, she probably shouldn’t let Davidson get away with sullying her reputation. But she’d figure that out later. Right now, she wanted to get home to dust and vacuum, as well as change the sheets on the bed. She coughed as she got out of the car and walked to the entrance of her building. There was a tickle in her throat. A cup of tea with lemon and honey ought to fix it. She’d start warming the water as soon as she got in the door.



§



Raven put the last of his clothes into a suitcase and pulled out the black-velvet box from his pocket. He opened it to remove the simple one-carat solitaire diamond ring within. Would Cara like it? Would it fit her finger? She was out of school now. So nothing stood in the way of his asking her to marry him and move to New Mexico. They could keep her condo in Redondo Beach and spend vacations there. That way, if she missed the ocean, she could go back and enjoy it.

He had started planning the wedding. He even had a power-point presentation to show Cara what he had in mind. But first he needed to get her to say yes. Not that he was nervous or anything. Putting the ring into his pocket, he patted it. He had everything under control. His clothes would go by plane to California. The limo company would pick up his suitcase and bring it over to Cara’s condo. Raven would Shadow Walk to California. He had picked out a dark-grey silk suit and a red shirt and tie. He would carry the ring on his person, but the box would have to go into the suitcase, so it didn’t disintegrate in Shadow.

Zipping up the suitcase, he put it by the door. Mrs. Sloane had already arranged for a courier to come pick it up. Reservations had been made for dinner at one of the trendy restaurants on the Redondo pier. Raven could see it all clearly. Cara looking lovely in an evening dress. Raven in his suit. The flowers, the dinner, and then popping the question. It would be perfect.

Time passed quickly, and Raven was dressed and ready. Finding a shadow in the corner, he Shadow-walked into the hallway outside Cara’s door. Derek waved at him from down the hall, then gave a thumbs-up sign.

This was it. Raven brushed his hands down his jacket, feeling the ring still in his pocket. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

He heard shuffling and a groan coming from inside. Cara opened the door, wearing short pink pajamas and holding a wad of tissues.

“Oh, Raven,” she said and burst into tears.

Taking quick stock of the situation, Raven scooped Cara up in his arms. She was burning with fever. He gave Derek orders telepathically, while holding Cara as she cried. He rubbed her back and murmured to her. Then, he carried her into the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. Derek would be delivering Sudafed, orange juice, Sprite, Tylenol, and egg- drop soup in about an hour.

“Hush, now sweet,” he told her as he wiped her tears. “Here, let me get you tucked in. We’ll talk after I’ve got you settled.”

“Oh, Raven” she sniffled. “I wanted everything to be perfect. But I feel so awful. I’m so glad you’re here. Please don’t hate me,” she said as she started to tear up again.

“Come now, love, you’re being silly,” he said as he fluffed up the pillows. “Now wait right here while I get some hot water going for tea.”

Raven sighed as he went into the kitchen to do just that. Her kitchen wasn’t very big, and it did not take long to find and start the teakettle. He removed his coat and rolled up his sleeves. Then, he went back into the bedroom to his patient.

“Will you hold me?” she sniffled

“It would be my greatest pleasure,” he said as he climbed into the bed. Lying down beside her, he pulled her gently into his arms.

Cara rested against him as he stroked her silky hair. He liked gazing into her soft doe eyes. This was his mate. He was finally here with her.

Just then the teakettle started to whistle. Raven got up to fix her tea. He came back in with a cup of Earl Grey, placing it on the nightstand. Cara was already having problems keeping her eyes open.

“Go to sleep love. You need to rest,” he said.

“Please don’t leave . . .”

“Never, tehila. I will be right here when you wake up.”

He left her sleeping peacefully and went into the kitchen. After fixing a cup of tea for himself, he went back and relaxed in the wingback chair covered in pink roses. He liked Cara’s decorating style. Everything was done in soft pinks and whites. It was homey and comfortable.

He was proud of her accomplishments, and he was even prouder, knowing this lovely woman was his mate. He happily watched over her, while dozing in her chair. When he felt Derek’s mind-touch, he got up quietly and opened the door.

“Sorry, Bro, I would have warned you if I’d known. She seemed okay last night when Joe came on duty. Maybe just a little tired.”

Derek handed over the bag from the drugstore and the soup.

“It’s okay, Derek. These things happen. Will you catch the limo driver when he comes up and get my suitcase? Cara is sleeping, and I don’t want her to wake up.”

“Sure. I’ll watch for him.”

Raven put the soup and juice in the refrigerator. He would heat up the soup when Cara woke up. The medicine waited on the counter. He went back in the bedroom to find Cara snoring slightly. She would be mortified if she knew.

He chuckled and decided to watch some TV while she slept. He turned the small set on, but not wanting to disturb her, he turned it way down. Finally, he put on a music station after nothing on the weather channel or news caught his eye. Enjoying this quiet time, he dozed in the chair. These simple homey chores made him feel complete and satisfied.

Raven liked watching over Cara. It didn’t matter that things didn’t work out according to his vision. He was here with her, and that’s all that mattered.

Derek’s mind-touch surprised Raven when he saw how much time had passed. He got up to open the door.

“Here’s the suitcase. She’s good for you. You’ve only been here a couple of hours and already you look better.”

“I didn’t know I looked bad before,” Raven said.

“Not bad, exactly. Tired, overworked.”

Raven heard Cara stirring in the bedroom. He smiled at his brother.

“Oh, yeah,” Derek said. “You’ve got it bad.”

As Derek chuckled, Raven closed the door in his face. He knew Derek would walk back into Shadow. He and Joe would take turns standing guard.

Cara was looking sleepy as Raven walked back into her room.

“I thought I heard voices.”

“Just a delivery from the airport,” Raven said, putting his suitcase down. “I thought I might need some casual clothes.”

Raven had already taken his shoes and tie off. He actually looked a little rumpled. Cara couldn’t remember when she had seen him less than perfect. She felt a sudden surge of desire. She must be feeling better.

“Will you hold me some more?”

“Are you sure I can’t get something for you first? Soup? Juice?” Raven asked.

“Oh,” Cara said a little disappointed. “Maybe some juice?”

“Be back in just a minute.”

Cara felt grateful that Raven wanted to care for her. But it would be nice if instead of being so gallant, he would just come back to bed. She wanted him to want her, even when she looked as bad as she did with no makeup and a stuffy nose.

Raven came in with medicine and juice in one hand and a mug of egg-drop soup in the other. Egg-drop soup was one of Cara’s comfort foods. She always ordered some when she was sick. The fact that Raven knew and provided showed her what a caring man he really was. It brought tears to her already puffy eyes.

He watched over her, getting more juice when she ran out and then clearing the dishes when she was done. Finally, he came back to bed and held her close, his hand caressing her hair. Cara rubbed her face on his silky shirt and then sighed. She didn’t want to move. She was warm and full and content. Her eyes started to drift shut again.

Raven looked down at Cara’s relaxed features. From her easy breathing, he was assured that the medicine was working. It felt so right holding her while she slept. No one was barging in and demanding he take care of some kind of business. Quiet Thunder had said his mate would bring him peace. He was right. He could stay here with Cara in his arms forever.

The insistent knocking on the door was the first indication Raven had that he had fallen asleep while holding Cara. The mental calling let him know that something was wrong.

Raven, wake up. Come answer the door or I’m coming in.

Quiet down, you’ll wake up Cara. I’m coming.