Jordan cleared his throat and forced another smile.
“Well, there are going to be some changes with the line up of Generation Rejects. I’m not sure exactly what’s going to happen. But tonight, with Paco’s help, we’re gonna rock your faces off!” he yelled into the mic and the crowd, though hardly convinced, seemed to accept the excuse, for now.
Paco took the mic and screamed loud and shrill, making me flinch. The guys looked at each other again and the same look was on their face that had to have been on mine.
Oh shit.
But luckily for them, after Paco got over his nerves, he settled in. He was a pretty good rock singer and Maysie was right, he knew all the lyrics to the songs. And while the crowd wasn’t as energetic as they normally were, they seemed to be enjoying it enough.
I turned back to the bar to order myself another beer when I caught a movement outside the front window of the restaurant. I looked more closely and saw a recognizable shock of dark hair and the glint of light from a lip ring I knew all too well.
It was Cole.
He didn’t come inside. He stood out in the cold, looking in through the window, a pained expression on his face.
I didn’t move for the longest time. I could only watch him as he watched his band perform without him.
And then I was on my feet.
I pushed through the crowd and hurried outside just as Cole was turning to leave.
“Cole!” I called out.
He looked up and I was shocked to see the gleaming wetness in his eyes. I had never seen Cole cry. Ever. But right then, I knew he was about to.
This was a man whose heart was breaking.
And mine broke for him.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and started to walk past me. I reached out and grabbed his arm, my fingers digging through the worn leather of his jacket tightly. Not letting go.
“Don’t go,” I said, pleading with him. For what I didn’t know.
He shook his head, his hair falling into his face. Looking at him under the glow of Barton’s neon sign, he looked older than the last time I saw him. He looked haggard and tired.
“I can’t stay here, Viv. I just can’t.” His voice broke and his words twisted in anguish.
He was killing me.
This wasn’t a Cole I had ever seen before. And I didn’t know what to say or do. I was speechless.
“They’ve replaced me,” he said quietly.
I shook my head. “It’s just Paco-” I started but he cut me off.
“They don’t need me anymore.”
He bit down on his lip, his eyes trained to the ground.
“I thought that’s what I wanted. I thought I didn’t need them. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. But now it’s too late.”
Then he looked up, his eyes meeting mine and they ripped a hole through my chest.
Slowly, he reached out, his ice-cold fingers softly touching my cheek. They lingered there as if he couldn’t help himself.
“I’m always too late. And now I’ve lost everything.”
And then he dropped his hand. I felt the absence of his touch instantly. He shoved his hands back into his pockets and walked away, his feet hurried as though he couldn’t get away fast enough.
After Cole had left, I went back into Barton’s and didn’t mention a thing. I didn’t tell anyone that I had seen him.
I was unwilling to share with his friends or mine about my run-in with an obviously devastated Cole.
I’m always too late. And now I’ve lost everything.
The way he had touched my face and looked into my eyes unsettled me in the worst possible way.
I tried to convince myself that he was talking about his band when he uttered those cryptic words.
What else could he mean?
But from the way he gazed at me with such longing, it almost had me imagining those words were meant for me as well.
I was ridiculous.
Here I was, still holding onto the unrealistic hope that the man I had casually slept with for the past two years would wake up one day and realize I was the only one for him.