Second Chance

chapter 8




Ava sat on the front step of Carrick’s porch, deep in thought. Bing was beside her, head in her lap. Carrick had left four guards to watch over her, and they were standing post at various places around his cottage. Sam had gone inside his house, called in by a lady about her own age. She assumed she was a relation of his.

Her stomach churned thinking of Sam and his mother. And that was only one example that she knew of. Carrick had seen this day in and day out for the last four years. She was foolish to think that she would know more than him, or the Conclave, as to what this land needed. She was still incredibly angry at Carrick, but he was right. Now was not the time to let that anger cloud her judgment.

“Well, if that isn’t just about the prettiest lady I have seen in a long, long time.” Ava’s head whipped around at that voice and pleasure lit her entire face.

“Quentin!!!”

Ava jumped up from the porch and flew into her cousin’s arms. Quentin Solaire was Ava’s favorite cousin. Well, he was her only cousin, about as close to her as a brother could be. He was her Aunt Cinnie’s only child—Cinnie being her mother’s older sister—and had lived at the palace with Ava for most of her life. He was six years older than her, and he always looked out for her like she was his little sister.

She stepped back from his embrace and looked up at him. He hardly looked different from the last time she had seen him. He stood tall, with shaggy, caramel colored hair that always seemed in need of a haircut. He had the hazel eyes flecked with gold that the Solaire line was known for and had a wide grin on his face.

On the night her parents were murdered, she had been so thankful that Quentin had escaped from the palace, along with Aunt Cinnie. Quentin had been, and she assumed still was, a member of the Royal Army, even though he wasn’t from the Warrior caste. His line was mostly made of Scrinia but his strength, cunning and magical abilities made him perfect for protecting the Royal family.

“And who do we have here,” Quentin asked looking down at Bing and giving him a scratch on the head. Bing gave an excited bark and licked his hand.

“This is Bing, and he’s obviously pleased to meet you.” Ava’s eyes misted. “I am so happy to see you Quentin. It’s nice to be back among my family.”

“I’ve missed you too, twerp.”

Ava chuckled at the nick-name he always called her when she was little. “Is Aunt Cinnie doing well?”

Quentin’s face turned sad. “She died last year. None of our healers could help her, but we didn’t have a lot to choose from.”

Ava grasped both of Quentin’s hands and looked him in the eyes. “I’m so sorry. Maybe if I had been here, I could have done something.” Ava felt herself getting angry again over her removal from Vyronas.

Quentin shook his head. “You can’t think that way. We don’t even know if your magic was powerful enough to help her. You can’t have guilt or regrets. It will tear you apart.”

Ava didn’t say anything but just stepped back into his embrace for a long hug.

After a bit, Ava pulled back. “Come, let’s go inside and have some tea and you can fill me in on everything that has happened since I’ve been gone. It’s been like pulling teeth to get Carrick to tell me anything.” Quentin chuckled at that and followed Ava inside.

While Ava busied herself making the tea, Quentin sat at the kitchen table and asked, “So how was life on the other side?”

“It was fine,” Ava said evasively.

But she knew it was more than fine. She’d had a great life, filled with wonderful memories thanks to whatever mojo had been worked on her. She had been happy there and never once had to deal with the terrible things that were happening back in Kestevayne. After Carrick left a bit ago, she realized that she was feeling more than a little guilt over having been sheltered from the atrocities that had been happening.

“So, can’t get any information from Carrick, huh?”

Ava snorted. “All he does is practically growl at me. We haven’t exactly been on the best of terms since he fetched me back.”

“No, I don’t expect the two of you would have a lot of warm and fuzzies going on once you realized what had happened.”

“Oh Quentin…I’m not sure you could begin to understand the rage and betrayal I felt once I got my memories back.”

“I can imagine, twerp,” he said gently. “If you were feeling anything close to what Carrick has been feeling since you left, I bet you felt like your head was going to explode.”

“What has he been feeling? Because he hasn’t exactly been a fountain of information.”

“Well, you leaving was very hard on Carrick—“, Quentin started.

“Hard on Carrick?” Ava practically screeched. “He got to stay here. What about how hard it was on me?”

“Whoa there!” Quentin held up his arms in submission. “I didn’t mean to strike a nerve.”

The tea was ready and Ava set a pot and two cups on the table. She took a seat across from Quentin. “I’m sorry. I’ve got anger issues that, I swear, I am trying to sort out. I won’t interrupt again.”

“You always were hot tempered, Ava,” Quentin said with a knowing smile. “But to answer your question, the decision to send you away tore Carrick part.”

“From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t appear to have been too hard a decision for him,” Ava said bitterly.

“Aaaahhh… you don’t know the story behind it all, do you?”

“I know that I made my wishes known to both the Conclave and Carrick. I made clear that I did not want to leave. I know Carrick told me I could stay. And most of all, I know Carrick is the one that pushed me through The Veil separating our dimensions. What more is there?”

Quentin shook his head, almost sadly, like he pitied Ava for her side of the story. “There’s a lot more Ava. Carrick was never in favor of sending you away, even up to the moment he pushed you through. But the Conclave was insistent, and well, they have their ways to coerce even the strongest of wills.”

“Coerced how?” Ava asked.

“First, they took Kieran captive and hid him. They threatened to torture Kieran if Carrick didn’t cooperate in sending you away. But that didn’t work. So then they threatened to kill Kieran. But that still didn’t work. Carrick refused. It was only when the Conclave said they would remove you from Vyronas themselves that Carrick finally relented.”

“I don’t understand. Why would that cause him to agree when threats against Kieran wouldn’t?”

“Because the Conclave was going to put you in a magical stasis between dimensions. It was all they were capable of doing considering their magic is not that strong. They were going to banish you there to keep you safe, but you would be suspended in darkness. Alive and floating in nothingness, with only your thoughts to keep you company.”

Ava shuddered at the thought. “That would be hell!”

“Exactly,” Quentin commiserated. “Carrick knew that would be an unbearable torture for you. In fact, I’m betting he thought it would have made you go insane. So, Carrick agreed to do it.”

Ava felt the blood drain from her face and bile rise in her throat.

“You get why Carrick did it, right? His magical forte deals with memory and illusion. He alone had the power to create a new life for you in The First Dimension so that you would remain safe and unknowing of what you had left behind.”

“As always, he was still protecting me,” Ava whispered to herself. She remembered his last words to her, “Never forget that all I do for you, I do out of love.”

Ava stood up and walked to the sink, looking at the window. “He was willing to sacrifice Kieran for me, wasn’t he?”

“Yes he would have.”

Ava put her face in her hands and groaned. She had been immensely unfair to Carrick. For all of her ranting about trust, she’s never once given him the benefit of the doubt and trusted that he may have been doing the best thing possible for her.

Ava thought about Carrick since they had been reunited. She’d seen many emotions cross his face over the last two days. Rage, anger, sadness, coldness, disinterest. The list could go on, but the happy and carefree Carrick she knew before seemed to be gone.

“Carrick has changed, hasn’t he?”

“A lot of people have Ava. But yes, the Carrick you knew before is gone. His heart was broken when you left. Cracked wide open. Then it’s like he channeled all the terrible things that have happened into the gap, let it close back up and harden. I don’t know the last time I’ve seen him laugh. On the flip side, there is no one that is more determined to bring down Ralina than Carrick. All of his thoughts and energies flow only into one thing...returning Kestevayne to the people and putting you on the throne.”

Quentin stayed for another hour and he spent most of the time updating Ava on what had been happening since she left. It broke her heart to hear of the devastation that Ralina had been causing.

Apparently, the palace had been completely purged of all people loyal to the Clairmont family. And by purge, Quentin meant murdered. For the families who lived in Kestevayne and the surrounding countryside, Ralina demanded they swear allegiance to her with a blood oath. If they refused, she burned their homes to the ground, usually with them trapped inside. From what Quentin had been able to tell her, the immediate area surrounding Kestevayne was nothing but scorched earth.

Ava wondered about the blood oath Ralina was demanding. Was that so she could perform her mind control tricks? She would have to ask the Conclave their thoughts.

Amazingly, business still went on as usual within the city. Most of the shops were still open but only after the owners swore with their blood and agreed to a fifty percent tax increase. Travelers were allowed in and out of the city walls, but again, only after swearing with a drop of blood their loyalty to Ralina.

Perhaps most worrisome, was the fact that the surrounding Royal kingdoms were being forced to choose allegiances. There were a few Royal families still willing to fight beside the Clairmont forces. They realized that their kingdom could be next on Ralina’s hit list.

But other Royals were too afraid to make a stand. These were mostly the smaller domains and felt their best chance at survival was to swear their blood oath to Ralina. Once that was done, she took over that Royal family’s army and added it to her forces in Kestevayne, leaving those smaller domains vulnerable. Lucky for them, the other Royal families had too much on their plate to even consider attacking the smaller domains that chose to side with Ralina.

The good news was that there were four major Royal Houses standing beside the Clairmonts. The D’Amuris, the Groucutts, the Baudins and the Foss. All had quickly pledged their allegiance to returning Ava to the throne. This was expected as these Royal families all enjoyed strong and friendly ties to each other. Each of these families was now living away from their homes, under their own cloaking spells, protected by their own Royal Armies. Once a month, they sent representatives from their Conclaves to meet with the Clairmont Conclave to discuss strategy and exchange information.

There was one more kingdom the Clairmonts were courting to come to their side, and that was the House of Sorin. Not much movement had been made from what she could tell which was strange as the Sorins had always been close to Ava’s family. Ava had a personal history with the Sorin’s Crowned Prince Baynor. Well, apparently he was now King Baynor but maybe she could help there. She would think on that some more.

After Quentin left, Ava fixed herself a simple supper of some bread and cheese. She didn’t think her stomach could tolerate much more than that. One of the guards had kindly brought some ground beef from the butcher for Bing to eat, although Ava cooked it for him first.

Then she had a glass of honey wine and waited for Carrick to come home. She sat on the front porch, and watched the large pink sun fade. She was still there when the swollen rose-colored moon arose, and yet Carrick had not come home. The guards, however, continued their post outside the cottage. She offered them some food and drink, but they politely declined.

Finally, the toll of the day caught up to Ava and she realized she was bone tired. She went inside the cottage and found her backpack. She had packed some sleepwear, the likes of which she was sure no Vyronasian had ever seen. Too tired to take advantage of a hot bath, Ava took her clothes off and performed a cleansing incantation which magically scrubbed her from head to foot, even her teeth.

She slipped on her Victoria’s Secret boy shorts and tank top. The word “Pink” was stamped across her butt and chest and she wondered what Carrick would think of that. She crawled into the large bed and pulled the quilt over her. As tired as she was, she was frustrated half an hour later when sleep still eluded her. Bing, on the other hand, was lying next to her, snoring softly.

Ava tossed and turned, wondering where Carrick was. She kept replaying over in her mind everything she had learned today. The guilt was eating her alive and the only way she knew to make it go away was to start making things right in any way she could. She knew the first would have to be an apology to Carrick.

It was then that Ava heard the front door open, and then quietly close. She had left a few lights burning for him. She heard him go into the kitchen and run some water in the sink. She thought she heard him sigh, then his footsteps started coming toward the bedroom.

Ava sat up in bed and swung her legs over the side. She waved her hand at the lamp on the table next to her and light sprang forth. Ava watched as Carrick stepped into the bedroom. He looked tired. Really, really tired. Her heart hurt for him. Carrick glanced at Ava, surprised to find her up.

“Did I wake you?”

“No. I couldn’t fall asleep. Can I fix you something to eat?”

“I ate earlier.”

Carrick sat on one of the chairs in the corner and started pulling off his boots. He then stood, and took off his shirt and Ava felt her mouth literally water. Oh geez! She had forgotten how perfect his body was. His shoulders were wide and he was sculpted of hard muscle everywhere. She admired his washboard abs and the little trail of golden hair that led down into the waistband of his pants.

She slowly dragged her eyes back up his body to his face and noticed that he was staring straight at her. Ava flushed with embarrassment but she remembered there used to be a day when there would be passion in his eyes if he caught her staring like that. Now there was nothing but disinterest, with maybe a little bit of curiosity.

“Sorry,” Ava muttered meekly.

Carrick didn’t say a word but walked over to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out a blanket and Ava watched as he laid it on the floor beside the bed. She realized instantly that he intended to sleep on the floor.

“Carrick, there is plenty of room in the bed. Well, there will be once I kick Bing out of it. But please, there is no sense in you sleeping on the floor.”

He didn’t even look at her but said, “I’ll take the floor.” With that, he laid down on the blanket with his back turned to her.

“Carrick, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“It’s late Ava and I’m really tired. Can this wait?”

“It’s just…I wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. Quentin came by today and told me everything… about why you had to send me away.”

She waited for him to say something but was met with silence. “Can you forgive me?”

“Just forget about it Ava. What’s done is done, okay?”

This was not setting well with Ava but all she replied was, “Okay.”

Turning out the bedside light, she put her legs back under the blanket and laid back down on the bed. Well, at least she’d started making things right by apologizing to Carrick. Hopefully, he would be a little more open tomorrow to further conversation.

****

Carrick laid on the floor for a long time, listening as Ava rolled from one side to the other. Finally, he recognized her breathing had slowed down and she was asleep. He had lain in bed many a night and just watched her sleep so he was very familiar with her breathing habits.

Gods, but she was driving him nuts. He’d been nearly stunned speechless when he had walked into the bedroom, and seen her sitting on the side of the bed, her glorious hair hanging over her sun kissed shoulders.

And what the hell was she wearing? That top with the word “Pink” stretched tightly across her breasts about had him swallowing his tongue. Why did she have to look so damn beautiful and sexy when there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it? He had immediately felt himself getting hard just looking at her, and when he’d caught her staring at him, his cock jumped straight to attention. He had to turn away and get a blanket from the dresser, and hope like hell she didn’t see his reaction. After putting the blanket down, he immediately laid down on it and turned his back to her so she wouldn’t see the bulge in his pants.

And what was with the apology? He wasn’t sure exactly what Quentin had told her but he was guessing she knew about the Conclave’s threats to coerce him into sending Ava away. Still, he didn’t deserve an apology. He deserved the constant guilt that wracked him every day over sending the love of his life away from her homeland.

That was all ancient history and he knew it couldn’t be changed. His only goal now was in bringing Ralina down. He needed to stop thinking of Ava and the way things used to be. There were too many hard feelings in between them now and besides, he had nothing left in his heart to give. It was better to just ignore her as much as he could and get this damn war won so he could move on.

His intention was to leave Vyronas. In fact, he liked the look of Wyoming a lot. Maybe that is where he would settle down once he got Ava back on the Clairmont throne.