Second Chance

chapter 5




“So how does this work?” Ava asked.

She was sitting back on the couch, having stored the shotgun back in its rightful spot. She knew she appeared to be calm but on the inside she was a raging mess. She kept her hands clasped tightly on her lap, afraid that their shaking would give her way. Bing was laying on the couch beside her in a show of moral support. He could always sense when she was upset.

Kieran was standing across the living room, casually leaning up against the wall. Holding his third shot of bourbon in his hand, he looked remarkably at ease. Carrick, on the other hand, looked like he was attending his own funeral.

Why was one brother calm, and the other anxious? Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. Clearly, something bad had happened between Ava and Carrick before she left Vyronas, and that made her more apprehensive. Still, Ava was more than curious about her true life to let that thwart her at this point.

Carrick cleared off the coffee table that sat in front of the couch. He moved directly in front of Ava and sat down on the coffee table, their knees almost touching.

“Give me your hands.”

Ava put her hands in Carrick’s and she felt the sparks from the contact. Looking at Carrick, she knew he felt them too as his eyes seemed to go a shade darker.

“I’m going to channel some of my magic into you. It won’t hurt. I just want you to keep your mind open, and you will feel the memories come back.”

“How long will it take?” Ava asked. She noticed that Carrick was trying to sooth her by rubbing his thumbs across the backs of her hands.

“Not long. You won’t be reliving each memory. It will flood back to you but you may have certain memories that stand out to you. But fairly quickly, you will just have a sudden awareness of all that you used to know.”

Ava took a deep breath and released it. Her voice trembled a little when she said, “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Close your eyes and just relax.”

Ava first looked over at Kieran, who nodded at her with encouragement, and then back to Carrick. She thought she saw sadness but then thought about it no more. Ava slowly closed her eyes.

Like a raging tidal wave, Ava’s entire life came rushing at her. It hit and consumed her, and much like being hit by a wall of water, for a few seconds, Ava thought she was drowning. But then just as if she was rising from the depths of the ocean, she broke surface and brief memories hit her.

Fishing with her father. Dropping a doll in the mud and crying. Learning how to ride her first horse. Eating dinner with her parents. Attending a dance at their palace.

Then general awareness came. Five seconds ago, she knew nothing about the real Jaron and Selena Clairmont. But now, she knew with every fiber of her being that her parents were kind, loving and generous people. They absolutely doted on Ava, who was an only child. She had a very close relationship with them.

It was crazy how Ava instantly had a whole new life. Ava knew, without a doubt, that she’d had a wonderful life in Kestevayne. She was well loved by the citizens and she, in turn, loved them. She cherished her role as the peoples’ Princess. She was honored to know one day she would rule her land, and hoped to be able to do it with as much love and character as her parents had.

Ava realized that she knew magic. And she knew it well. Sovereign families had deep magic that was tied to their lineage. While not her only magical ability, Ava’s strongest magic centered around healing and she took great pleasure in ministering to the poor and sick. Her mother taught her most of what she knew about healing potions and remedies.

And the horses. Wow! She was horse crazy there too. She had been riding horses since she could walk and spent all her free time among them. Her parents always joked that they should build a room for her in the barn to sleep at night.

Oh, how she missed this life, she realized. Her real life. She now understood.

Ava kept her eyes closed, savoring the memories as she thought about her life in Vyronas. These memories brought warmth to Ava’s heart and she was sure she had a grin plastered to her face while she was processing all this information.

Then she thought of Carrick. And all her memories of him came rushing to her in a warm wave of love and security. Carrick was her childhood protector and friend. He was so handsome, and funny, and mischievous. He was generous and thoughtful. Strong and brave. She could go on and on.

Carrick and Ava had indeed been madly in love. Anyone who knew them had no doubt they were soul mates. They had their parents’ blessing to marry and Ava knew that they would grow old together and that their love would never die. All the loneliness Ava had been thinking about earlier that night suddenly melted away. She felt secure, and complete, and at peace knowing she had Carrick. He was, without a doubt, her one true love.

But Ava had a funny nagging feeling when thinking about Carrick. Her memories turned dark. Ava remembered running through tunnels under the palace with Carrick. Her parents were dead…murdered in their sleep. Kestevayne had been overtaken. Carrick and Ava had escaped, and were able to meet up with a few members of the Clairmont Conclave, who had also made their escape from the palace. The Conclave was a group of men and women who advised the sovereign rulers on most matters.

Over the next several weeks, they were reunited with many people and soldiers loyal to Ava and her throne. Her supporters gathered in secret places that were hidden under cloaks of magic. They rallied and they planned. Weeks went by while strategies were made to go to war with the usurper and regain Kestevayne.

Carrick and the Conclave worried constantly for Ava’s safety, for there was a price upon her head. If something were to happen to her, Kestevayne would be lost. The Conclave decided to move Ava to a place of safety until they could amass enough forces to overtake Kestevayne. This was a plan that Ava would not agree to, as she refused to be separated from Carrick or Vyronas. Carrick tried desperately to talk her into leaving, but she would have no part of it.

Ava’s stomach churned as she focused on her last memory of Carrick and she could feel her closed eyes starting to leak tears.

Finally, Carrick seemed to have relented. He promised her that she could remain by his side and she would not be forced to leave. They went on a walk through the forest to discuss their future plans. She remembered a soft breeze and the smell of honeysuckle in the trees as they walked hand in hand. Just being near Carrick made her feel secure and invincible.

“I’m so glad you are not letting the Conclave send me away. You know my place is here with you.”

Carrick didn’t respond but gently squeezed her hand.

“How did you convince them to let me stay?” Ava asked.

Rather than answer, Carrick gathered up Ava closely in his arms and hugged her. Putting his nose in her hair, he took a deep breath. He had always told her she smelled like sunshine. Then Carrick leaned down, and lightly brushed his lips against Ava’s.

Ava leaned into Carrick and opened her mouth to him. His kiss deepened and his tongue claimed hers thoroughly. But all too soon he pulled away from the deep kiss.

Carrick then whispered urgently into her mouth. “Never forget that all I do for you, I do out of love.”

Ava sighed and leaned farther into Carrick, her body molding to his and urging him to return to the kiss they had just shared. Instead, Carrick released Ava and stepped quickly back from her.

A sudden wind whipped up around Ava, causing her hair to swirl around her head and her long dress to flap against her legs. She looked at Carrick, but not a breeze touched him. His lips were moving but she couldn’t hear what he was saying. The look in his eyes frightened her. It was one of complete and utter guilt. Ava tried to take a step toward him but she was frozen in place.

“What have you done, Carrick?” Ava shouted over the wind. She held her arms out to him, silently begging him to come closer.

Carrick stepped farther away. Ava couldn’t hear him but she could read his lips. He was shaking his head side to side and saying, “I’m sorry.”

Ava felt something tug at her body, and she watched as Carrick seemed to fade before her eyes. And then she realized that Carrick had betrayed her and was sending her away from Vyronas.

“NOOOOOO!,” Ava yelled at Carrick. “Please stop this.”

But Carrick just stood there, silently repeating the words, “I’m sorry”, over and over again.

Before Carrick faded away completely, the last thing Ava recalled was dropping her arms to her sides and clenching her fists so tightly her nails drew blood from her palms.

“I hate you Carrick Dunne and I will never forgive you for this.” Then she let out a wail of heartbreak as she was whisked away from Vyronas and all that she knew.

Ava was jolted out of her memories and her eyes sprang open. She felt wetness streaming down her face and realized she was crying. Her breath was ragged. She looked up into Carrick’s face and saw the same guilt reflected there that she saw before he banished her from her home. But she also saw a pleading look on his face. Perhaps pleading her to forgive him? Never!

Without even thinking, Ava drew her right arm back and slapped Carrick as hard as she could across his left cheek. It made a resounding and satisfying crack.

“I’m so sorry,” Carrick said, his voice ringing with hurt and guilt.

“You son of a bitch,” Ava said through gritted teeth and slapped him again.

Carrick stood up from the coffee table and Ava stood right along with him. Not done by a long shot, she started pounding on him with her fists, screaming to him about betrayal. Hatred poured from her and Carrick just stood there, letting her take it all out on his body.

Finally, her strength started waning and Carrick wrapped his arms around her, tucking her face into his chest while she sobbed. Ava immediately pushed away from him as if he had the plague.

“I don’t need your comfort,” she snarled at him. “I want you and your brother out of my house now! Do not ever return here again.”

Ava shoved past Carrick and ran to her bedroom, Bing hot on her heels. She slammed the door and threw herself on her bed, face down into a pillow. Oh, gosh, her chest hurt. It felt like her heart had been ripped in two. For her, the pain of betrayal was fresh, as she experienced it like it had just happened today, not four years ago. Then the tears started again.

***

“That went well, don’t you think?” Kieran stated as he sat down on the couch, picking up the bottle of Jack Daniels. He poured two glasses and handed one to Carrick.

“In what way did that possibly go well?” Carrick growled, accepting the glass and downing it swiftly.

“It seems to me she had the option of shooting you with that gun of hers. So…I’d say things went pretty good compared to what could have happened.”

Carrick sat down on one of the chairs and scrubbed his hand through his hair in frustration. He’d known that Ava would be beyond furious when her memories were reintegrated. He was aware that the burning hate she had for him on their last day together would be there waiting for him in this dimension.

Yes, he had anticipated this, and knowing Ava as well as he did, things were progressing exactly as he expected. He also knew what he had to do next and it made him sick to his stomach to have to do it. He was going to have to play on and further abuse her emotions to make her go back to Vyronas with him.

He really, really hated the idea of doing it. Carrick had seen a lot of misery over the past four years. Immersed in a constant state of war for the Kestevayne throne, he had seen death and suffering that could not even bear description. Yet he would rather deal with that for the rest of his life than have to hurt Ava any further. But what he was about to do, he was doing it for Ava and her future, even if it hurt her in the short term.

“Are you okay Carrick?” Kieran asked with uncharacteristic concern in his voice. Kieran was forever joking and teasing, regardless of how depressing a situation could be. “You don’t look so hot.”

“I’m good,” Carrick stated as he stood up. “Get Ava’s horses together with all the necessary tack. We are going to be leaving for Vyronas soon and I know she’ll want to take the horses with her.”

“How are you going to talk her into coming with us when she’d just as soon slit your throat?”

Carrick headed toward Ava’s bedroom door. “That’s not your concern. Just do what I asked and be ready to go within the hour.”

***

Ava had not cried long. It wasn’t in her nature. But boy had she been hurt and pissed beyond anything she had ever felt before. She was actually embarrassed her reaction ranged toward the tearful. She wished she had remembered the shotgun under her couch. That sure would have saved a few of her tears.

Rolling off her bed, Ava padded into her bathroom and washed her face with cold water. She stared at her red rimmed eyes. She had never been a pretty crier, which is why she tried not to do it. But what did she care what she looked like. With any luck, Carrick and Kieran were gone and she could go back to her life.

Or could she? Knowing about her life in Vyronas, what was happening there now, could she peacefully exist here?

Ava heard her bedroom door open and then close. She walked out of her bathroom and saw Carrick standing by the door, eyeing her stonily. Her blood boiled just looking at him. How could you have ever trusted him, Ava?

“What part of ‘leave my house’ didn’t you understand?” Ava seethed.

“I’m not leaving without you, Ava. We will all be leaving within the hour for Vyronas.” Carrick’s voice was low but exuded command.

Well, if he thought he could tell her what to do, he had another thing coming. “You are crazy if you think I’m going anywhere with you. I want you out of my life and I never want to see you again.”

Ava thought her voice sounded pretty commanding as well and she squared her shoulders to lend extra authority to her statement. She waited for him to say something but he did nothing but stare at her.

“Don’t you think you have wrought enough pain in my life? If you had any decency whatsoever, if you want to try to make amends for the hurt and betrayal you have heaped upon me, you can just go and leave me alone.”

Ava noticed her voice now sounded whiny and pathetic. She could tell her anger was giving way to hurt feelings again. Please don’t start crying Ava. Be strong girl.

Looking at Carrick, wondering what his next move would be, she was absolutely stunned when he said, “I don’t have time for your princess dramatics, Ava. You need to grow up and act like a woman, not a petulant child.”

Ava inhaled sharply with surprise then sputtered, “Who the hell do you think you are talking to—.”

“Oh give it up, Ava,” Carrick interrupted her. “You know as well as I do that you are acting like a spoiled brat. So I sent you away against your wishes. Boo hoo. Poor little Ava has been so abused and mistreated.”

Ava felt like she was in the Twilight Zone. How dare he say these things to her when he should be groveling at her feet for forgiveness? She was the victim here and yet he was acting like he was the one that should be affronted. Ava saw red and didn’t have any control over her next actions.

Screeching like a feral cat in heat, Ava picked up a book on the dresser she was standing next to and hurled it at Carrick’s head. He easily ducked the missile which made her all the more angry. She picked up a bottle of perfume, wound up and let it fly at him. Without waiting to see if she hit her target, she picked up her next projectile—an alarm clock—and made ready to take aim. But as she looked up with the clock in her hand, Carrick was standing in front of her grabbing both of her wrists. He squeezed just hard enough that she dropped the clock.

Ava started kicking and trying to wrench her arms loose. She brought up her knee between his legs, but he turned away at just the right moment and her knee glanced off his thigh. Still gripping her wrists, Carrick walked Ava back toward her bed. Just as her knees hit the side of it, he gave her a slight push, releasing her arms.

Gravity pulled Ava down and she sat hard on the bed, bouncing back up slightly, and then coming to a rest in a seated position. She started to get back up but Carrick held up a hand and said with cold menace in his voice, “Don’t even think about it!”

Ava stayed seated on the bed, her breathing hard and ragged. She was so mad her ears were ringing but the tone of Carrick’s voice also caused a little course of fear to run through her.

“I’m going to only say this once,” Carrick began. His voice was icy and brittle. “Yes, you are acting like a spoiled brat. You can choose to believe me, or not, but I am sorrier than you will ever know for what I did to you. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. But that is over and done with Ava. I need you to let that go, and I need you to remember who you are. You are Ava Clairmont, of the House of Clairmont and sovereign ruler of Kestevayne. You have people who belong to you, who are dying, and suffering, and will continue to do so without your help. Most of all, if you fail to return with me, you will dishonor the memory of your parents. Their murder will have been in vain and that will be on your head.” He fairly snarled those last words at her but then the heat died from his eyes. He looked worn to the bone.

“Now, I’m going to give you one half hour to consider my words, pack up what you want, and be ready to go.”

Without another word, Carrick turned on his heel and walked out of her bedroom, softly shutting the door behind him.