"Goddamnit, Cade," she yelled, outside of the tent. She punched me in the back. "Put me down." I set her down on the ground, and she hit me in the chest this time. "What the hell are you doing, carrying me out of there like some kind of fucking caveman?"
"It was too loud in there. I couldn't hear you."
"It was too loud in there? That's your fucking excuse for acting like a complete Neanderthal?" she asked, her voice getting louder.
I heard footsteps behind me. "June, are you okay?" Jed's voice.
She nodded. "Yeah, Jed, I'm fine. Just give me some space."
"You let me know if I need to take care of anything," he said.
"So, what, are you with Jed now?" I glanced back at him, retreating back into the tent.
"What if I were, Cade? It's none of your business, is it?" she asked. "You're the one who's leaving here. You ran out of my house, remember?"
"June, that's not - "
"Save it," she said, anger flashing behind her eyes. "I don't want to hear it. Did you really think I thought you were going to stay here, that we would have some kind of happy ever after? You said it yourself. You're too fucked up for me. You want to wallow in self-pity, think you're too fucked up to be happy, convince yourself that this self-destructive path you're on is the only thing you deserve, it's not my fucking problem."
"June, I -"
She held up her hand. "You're not going to say anything that makes a difference, Cade. It's time to let go. For both of us." She turned to walk away, and I grabbed her arm.
"Let me go, Cade."
"I can't." I just couldn't.
"Let me go." She pulled her arm from my grasp, and started to walk away.
"I can't let you go, June," I said. She stopped, but didn't turn around. Just stood still, motionless.
"I love you," I said. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I've loved you since before I knew what it meant to love anyone. Since I was a kid, June."
June turned around, stood still. I couldn't read the expression on her face.
"There's been no one since you, June. No one that matters. It's you. It always has been. I lost you once. I can't lose you again." My voice shook.
There. I said it.
It was everything I had.
I felt naked, standing there before her, waiting for her to open her mouth and just destroy me with her words.
I don't love you.
It's what I was waiting to hear.
"Take me home," she said, her voice so soft I didn't think I heard her.
I reached for her hand, drew her against me, held her against my chest.
Where she belonged.
"Take me home now," she said.
June
We didn't even make it home. I was speeding home, all too eager to get Cade out of his clothes and inside my bed. I didn't know what the hell to make of what he'd said. He was in love with me.
I hadn't said it back.
I didn't know if I could love anyone. Maybe I was just a coward. But a coward with good reason to be afraid. Everyone I loved died.
I couldn't think about it. I couldn't think about anything, hearing him say the words. All I knew was that I wanted him too. I didn't know what was going to happen for us. I just wanted right now.
With all that in my head and my libido in overdrive, when I saw the turn up ahead for the river access road, West Bend's own little lovers lane, I veered off in that direction.
"Remember this?" I asked, as we bumped and bounced down the tiny dirt road.
"How could I forget? I wonder if people even come here anymore."
There was only one other car out in the clearing, and I pulled into the other corner, tucked away. When I turned off the engine, everything was silent.
Cade leaned over and kissed me, and just the touch of his lips to mine sent arousal coursing through me. This man knew how to light me on fire, that was for sure. That didn't mean it was love, though, right?
"Do you think we can fit in the backseat?" I asked. "I mean, you are getting pretty old, and I don't want you to put your back out or something."
"Even when I'm seventy years old, I'll be up for screwing you in the backseat of a car." Cade was already climbing into the backseat.
I laughed, following him, and stumbling all over myself as I tried to squeeze into the back of the car, then finally straddled him on the backseat.
"You really need a van," Cade said.
"Hey," I said. "At least it's something with a roof. We couldn't exactly do this on the back of your bike."
Cade grinned, and opened his mouth, but I stopped him, holding my palm up. "Don't even begin to tell me about whatever girl - or girls - you've screwed on the back of your bike."
"Did I say anything?" Cade asked, burying his head between my breasts, kissing the tops of my mounds.
"Huh-uh," I murmured. "But keep doing what you're doing."
He unhooked my bra and slid down the straps of my dress, taking my breasts, first one and then the other, in his mouth, sending ripples of pleasure through my body. I could feel his hardness through his jeans, pressing against me, and I wanted him now. Cade chuckled as I struggled with the button on his pants, bumping my head on the roof of the car.
"How did we ever used to do this?" he asked.