“Well, protect yourself. That soldier told me that he’s wired Koch about you.”
The door opened and Alfred’s pale face appeared. “Pardon the interruption. Would you mind if I left my post to use the facilities?”
“Not at all,” I said. “I’m leaving.”
emilia
The ship was full of unnatural sounds. Steel doors clanging, hollow footsteps, desperate echoes. Nature, the outdoors, even the farm, it all felt so far away.
I had worked so hard for the Kleists. Frau Kleist claimed everything I did was wrong but she was all too happy to let me clean, cook, and preserve for her. The cold store cellar on the edge of the property became my favorite place. On hot days I’d sit on an apple box outside with the cool stones against my back. August repaired the shelves for me when he was home. Else would linger nearby, begging for a spoonful of rose petal jam.
It wasn’t Else’s fault.
But I wondered.
Did she ever think of it? Did she remember the trail my heels carved in the dirt as they dragged me across the yard? Did my screams echo in her head as they did in mine?
Or perhaps, like me, she tried to forget it all and think instead about a spoonful of rose petal jam.
florian
Was she telling the truth? Had the soldier really contacted Koch’s office or did she say that because she was mad and wanted to scare me?
I waited until the middle of the night when I hoped everyone would be asleep. I had noted toilet facilities in the corridor as the sailor walked me to the chimney. I quietly slipped out of the small door with my pack, keeping my head down.
People occupied every possible space, yet my lavatory visit went undetected. I then went to the maternity ward to see Joana. If what she said was true, the ship would be swarming with soldiers hunting for me at first light.
I peeked in but didn’t see her. The Polish girl slept, the baby cradled in her arms. I walked to the infirmary. It was a solemn sight, wounded men on wooden pallets lined within a foot of each other. Joana tended to a soldier nearby. Their words were easily heard in the quiet dark.
“Well, you’re not wearing a wedding ring,” said the soldier.
“No, but I told you. I have a boyfriend. Now, you rest quietly and let me finish with this bandage.”
“Let me be your boyfriend, just for tonight,” pleaded the soldier.
My fingers curled into a fist.
“Please, just let me finish,” said Joana, her voice taut.
The soldier continued to pester. He grabbed her with his good arm. “C’mon, give me a little kiss.”
“Hey.” The word came out before I could stop it.
“There you are,” said Joana. “I was just telling Sergeant Mueller about you. I’m almost done here.”
I stepped back into the corridor to remain out of sight from the men.
Joana walked out of the infirmary. “What do you want?”
“Does that happen often?” I asked.
“They’re delirious.” She sighed, fatigued, and tucked a curl behind her ear. “I’m busy. What do you want?”
What did I want? I wanted the war to be over so I could ask her out.
“I need to know. Did the soldier really say that he had wired Koch?” I asked.
She looked up at me. I couldn’t read her expression. I told myself that her eyes weren’t pretty and that I didn’t want to kiss her. She just stared.
“Did he really say he had contacted Koch?” I repeated.
“Yes,” she finally whispered.
alfred
Arguments began before the sun rose. Flotation rafts, life vests, weather. The commotion was unsettling to my mind. I decided it would be best to descend to E deck to check on the hundreds of ladies in the drained pool. It was quite warm at the bottom of the ship. I wondered if the women might shed their uniforms for comfort. They played cards, slept, combed their hair, huddled in groups, and preoccupied themselves in general feminine behavior. I found them fascinating to observe and decided to remain concealed for one, maybe two hours, to further my studies.
At ten o’clock my surveillance was disrupted by a group of soldiers who marched onto E deck, sending the girls into a flurry. They announced they were looking for a specific passenger. It was the perfect time to present my services. I stepped out of the shadows and approached the men. The leader was a fine specimen, hair as yellow as the sun and clear, unblemished skin.
“Good morning, sir. Might I be of service?”
The soldier seemed surprised by my presence.
“He’s been spying on us all morning,” said one of the women. “He’s harmless.”
The other girls laughed.
I did not appreciate their laughter at my expense, nor did I like the feeling it created inside of me. I suddenly detested these insipid women. They were disgusting and stupid.