Her fingers stroked the cracked, blackened skin on her chin. “I’m so ugly now. Do you have a cigarette?” she repeated.
I put the stethoscope in my bag and pushed my way through the swarm of people to the port. In my pocket I had the boarding pass that Dr. Richter had secured for me. Where was our group? Had the sailor registered them? If Emilia was having difficulty I needed to help her.
“Joana!” Eva’s head towered above the throngs of people.
She walked toward me, alone. “Where are the others?” I asked.
“I haven’t seen them.”
“You didn’t register together?”
“No,” she said. “I walked hundreds of kilometers with that cart. My silver and dishes are in that wagon. I’m sorry, but I’m not letting some peasant family make off with all of those valuables.”
“Eva, there’s no time. The Russians are upon us. They could invade this port at any moment.”
“Once the wagon comes, I’ll register.”
“No, you must register now. The doctor told me the port will soon be overrun with nearly a million people. The Gustloff and other boats are leaving soon. Secure your passage now. Give the cart and horse to someone who needs it.”
She seemed to consider my urging.
“Have you seen the others?” I asked.
“I left them with that strange sailor.” She turned and began talking to another woman.
“Eva, wait. Did Emilia get through?” I pressed.
“I don’t know. The sailor took her, the shoemaker, and the boy to registration. That was the last I saw of them.”
“And what about Florian?” I asked.
She looked at me, confused. “Florian? Who’s Florian?”
emilia
On September 1, 1939, Germany invaded Poland from the west.
On September 17, 1939, Russia invaded Poland from the east.
I remembered these dates.
Two warring nations gripped Poland like girls fighting over a doll. One held the leg, the other the arm. They pulled so hard that one day, the head popped off.
The Nazis sent our people to ghettos and concentration camps.
The Soviets sent our people to gulags and Siberia.
I was nine years old when it started. People changed. Faces shriveled and sunk, like baked apples. Neighbors spoke in whispers. I watched them play their games. I observed them when they weren’t looking. I learned.
But how long could I play this game? A ploy of war both outside and inside. What would happen if I actually made it to the West? Would I be able to reveal myself as Emilia Sto?ek, a girl from Lwów? Would Germany be safe for me?
Once the war ended, which side would be the right side for a Pole?
florian
Hours passed. The sailor didn’t come to the movie house. My mind coursed through the possibilities: He was busy, assigned more tasks. He forgot. Maybe he wasn’t as gullible as I thought.
And what about Joana? Would she look for me?
I debated whether to leave the movie house. With every minute that passed, more refugees poured into Gotenhafen. Fewer ships would be available. The Reich would grow more desperate. Joseph Goebbels, the composer of blustery Nazi propaganda, had been issuing nonsense statements for years. He tried to boost morale with lies. “Total victory will be ours. Hold strong!” But victory had slipped through their fingers. Their hands were sticky with blame. And now the Russians drew closer. I looked at the newly issued propaganda leaflet I had found outside the movie house. It was titled Victory or Death.
WE ARE GERMANS!
THERE ARE TWO POSSIBILITIES:
EITHER WE ARE GOOD GERMANS
OR WE ARE BAD ONES.
IF WE ARE GOOD GERMANS, ALL IS WELL.
IF WE ARE BAD GERMANS, THEN THERE ARE TWO POSSIBILITIES:
Ridiculous. I couldn’t read the rest. I folded the leaflet and put it in my pocket. Goebbels was right about one thing. There were good Germans and bad Germans. But in truth, the labels were currently applied in reverse.
Those perceived as deserters would be executed. The longer I waited, the greater the odds that Lange would discover my betrayal. Had he broken into my apartment or the secret room below the castle? Had he already searched the crates?
Or worse—perhaps Nazi leader Erich Koch was standing on the dock right now, waiting for me.
alfred
Life vests and floats. That was my new assignment. Collect as many life vests and floats as I could find. I was glad of the task outside as it would finally give me a chance to visit the movie house and the young recruit. This was becoming exciting, just like the Karl May adventure novels that Hannelore loved so well.
But where exactly was the movie house? It was bitterly cold outside; the hairs inside my nose gummed and froze. A long walk would not be tolerable. I spotted the old man and the young boy standing under a damaged building with a large clock.