She blinked in surprise. “You have a maid?”
His amber eyes softened. “No, baby, it was a joke,” he said, gathering her into his arms. “Sorry, now isn’t the time. I was just trying to break the tension.”
Vanessa held on tight, her face pressed against his strong chest, and inhaled his unique scent as though he’d thrown it to her as a lifeline.
“Why don’t you try her again?”
She shook her head and pulled back to stare at the silent phone in her hand. “I left a voice mail and several texts already. She must not be able to call back yet. I just have to wait.”
And she’d never felt more helpless. Knowing her baby sister was in a hospital somewhere alone, bruised and battered… It was tearing her up inside.
“Come sit down with me before you collapse.”
He sat in the corner of the couch, and then tucked her into his side with her legs draped across his lap. One arm wrapped around her back, and he rubbed the outside of her leg in gentle, reassuring strokes.
“If I could have one wish—anything at all—it would be to go back in time and never leave home until Kat was out of school. Then I could’ve taken her with me.” Tears scalded her cheeks. “God, why didn’t I think of that back then?”
“Because you needed to get out of that house, too. You deserved a chance at a future, Vanessa. You weren’t Kat’s mother. It wasn’t your responsibility to put your life on hold for her.”
She pulled back to meet his eyes. “Why the hell not? You did.”
He frowned. “I did what?”
“You put your life on hold for your little sister. You did the right thing.”
“Baby, it’s not the same, and you know it.”
Vanessa pushed off his lap and stood. She felt like a thousand watts of electricity were zipping through her veins, evaporating her blood cells along the way.
“Bullshit it’s not. And look what happened,” she said, pointing to the door as if her best friend stood there plain as day. “Lucie is a well-adjusted, successful adult because you didn’t leave her with people who couldn’t care less about her.”
“Vanessa,” he snapped, unfolding to his full height in front of her. “You need to stop blaming yourself for Kat’s life. Lucie didn’t turn out as she did because of me. I can’t take credit for her accomplishments, just as I can’t take the blame for when she made the worst mistake of her life and married that asshole in Vegas.”
Vanessa tried turning to walk out the door, but he grabbed her arm and held fast. “Let go, Jackson. You don’t get it. You’ll never understand because you didn’t fuck up.”
“No, damn it, I won’t let go. I’m not letting you walk away from this just because it makes you uncomfortable. I’m here for you, whether you like it or not.” Without releasing her arm, he lifted his other hand to hold the side of her face. “I get that you’ve had a lot of people let you down in your life, but I am not one of those people.”
An overwhelming concoction of emotions twisted inside her. Fear, helplessness, anger, regret… They expanded as they swirled, threatening to burst from her pores to taint everyone around her. But as she let Jackson’s light eyes penetrate deep into her soul, she felt the devotion, faith, and trust they had for each other overpowering the others until they were only a murmur in the back of her mind.
She tried smiling but failed as more tears spilled over. “I’m really scared for her.”
“I know you are, baby. Come here.”
Again, Vanessa let him envelop her in the safety of his embrace. Listening to the steady beat of his heart seemed to regulate hers, as if it couldn’t stand not to be in sync with his. Though she was still worried sick for Kat, Vanessa knew there was no other place she’d rather be in that moment than in Jackson’s arms.
“Are you hungry?”
She shook her head. “I couldn’t eat now if I wanted.”
“Then let’s go back to the couch while we wait for her call. I’ll try to rub some of the tension out of your shoulders.”
He kissed the crown of her head and pulled her to the couch again, only this time he situated her between his legs and facing away from him. Sitting sideways, she pulled her knees up to her chest, let her head drop down, and tried to relax as his hands worked under her shirt on the knots in her back.
They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity but had only been ten minutes when her phone rang with her sister’s caller ID. Leaping off the couch, she pressed the green button and shoved the cell to her ear.
“Kat! Where are you? What happened?”
“Nessie, calm down or you’ll give yourself a coronary. Then we’ll both be in the hospital.”
The weak and raspy voice of Vanessa’s baby sister was almost unrecognizable. Chills formed goose bumps on her flesh, immediately chased by the heat of righteous anger.