“Hey.” Jackson’s fingers trailed a soft path over her cheek before tunneling into her hair just enough to give his thumb the freedom to continue a back-and-forth caress on the side of her face. “It’s okay. Nothing you tell me leaves this hammock. I swear it.”
People had said similar things to her before, but their words had rung hollow in her ears, whether they’d meant them or not. She’d learned at a young age that just because people made promises didn’t mean they would keep them.
But Jackson’s declaration was different. He said it with such strength and sincerity. It was then Vanessa realized he was no stranger. Despite only knowing him for three days, she felt she truly knew him. Not in the sense of knowing all his habits and favorite things. But more in the sense of knowing who he was as a person. Without a doubt she knew he was loyal and honorable. And no matter if they ended up despising each other tomorrow, he would never repeat anything she told him tonight.
Focusing on the hollow of his throat, she took a shaky breath and a leap of faith.
“My biological father left when I was six and my sister, Kat, was barely three. I don’t remember him, and my mother never talked about him other than to bitch about the debt he left us in. She worked three different waitressing jobs to try and keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. But she wasn’t a robot, and it was only a few months before the stress and lack of sleep started to really get to her. That’s when one of the girls she worked with introduced her to coke.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. It kept her awake and gave her tons of energy, but it also gave her an addiction, and sometimes scoring another bag took precedence over that week’s groceries.
“By the time I was eight she’d abandoned the workforce for a lucrative career as a stay-at-home prostitute for her dealer. So instead of her having to worry about a babysitter, all her Johns came to our apartment at all hours of the day and night. I can remember Kat and me playing with our toys on the living room floor as they snorted their lines before taking care of business in her bedroom.”
“Damn. That had to have been a nightmare for you and your sister.”
“No, not really. Those were the times when things were still fairly decent. I mean, even though my mom was drugged-out more often than not, she was still pretty conscientious of her kids. For the most part, she wasn’t too bad at taking care of the essentials, and she never let any of her clients go anywhere near us. But then she married Carl.”
“Who’s Carl?”
“Originally he was one of my mom’s regulars. For years he tried talking her into leaving her dealer-pimp for him, but since he wasn’t much better off than we were, my mom couldn’t justify it. Then his grandmother died and left him her house and a ton of money. Needless to say, the next time he made the proposal, my mom had a change of heart.”
“How old were you?”
“Twelve.”
“So what happened after you moved in with him?”
She shrugged her shoulder, not knowing how to put her past into words that wouldn’t cause him to look on her with pity. “On the plus side, my mom stopped hooking. But the longer we lived with Carl, the more controlling he became. And when he drank—which was more often than not—he liked using his fist if he thought anyone even looked at him wrong. I did my best to keep Kat out of their way. It wasn’t often, but if Carl set his sights on her, I’d provoke him so I got the brunt of it. I made sure we got to school, stayed on her to get good grades, and signed us up for any activities that kept us out of the house as much as possible.”
“Sounds to me like your sister was extremely lucky you were there for her.”
“But I wasn’t. Not always.” Vanessa swallowed, trying to prevent her throat from closing up. “My senior year, Carl was arrested for possession of cocaine. He had some priors so they sentenced him for six years. We were finally safe. That was a good eight months. Kat even started coming out of her shell more.”
She wished that were the end of the story. For her and her sister, that was as close to Happily Ever After as they could get. But that wasn’t the end. And there was nothing happy about any of it.
A thin veil of tears filled her eyes until it spilled over, one trailing across her temple and the other falling off the bridge of her nose. Jackson pulled her in a little more and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. The firm strokes of his hand on her back soothed her enough to continue.
“Second semester I received a letter that I’d gotten a scholarship. Originally, I hadn’t planned on going to college. I don’t even know why I applied. Maybe to pretend, I don’t really know. But since Carl was gone… It was my ticket out of there. Away from a mom who’d never been there for me. Away from a life I wanted to forget. Just…away.”
“Who can blame you?”
It wasn’t a true question. It was one of those things people said when they didn’t know what else to say. Unfortunately, it had an answer.