Ruin: Part One

Chapter 10




I walk back into the bedroom after soaking my weary body in the strong spray of his shower for the past fifteen minutes. He's dressed in grey slacks and a blue dress shirt. His hair is pushed back from his forehead. He looks different. The authoritative parts of him are on full display in his expression.

"I bought you some clothes when you were asleep earlier." He waves towards a plain white bag sitting atop the bed. "I can’t send you home wearing that dress."

I smile at the thoughtful promise that is hidden beneath the gesture. I open the bag, carefully pulling each garment from within it. Dark wash jeans, a white blouse, new black panties and a pair of flats, size eight.

"How did you know my sizes?" That should have been an immediate thank you but the fact that each piece of clothing is perfectly sized strikes me. It speaks of a familiar and comfortable knowledge that we haven't shared.

He takes a heavy step closer. My instinct should be to back away. He's tall, muscular, imposing in a way that screams of the care he takes in bed and his desperate need to bring a woman the pleasure that he knows lives within her. I don’t flinch as he pulls the towel I've wrapped around me to the ground.

"I've memorized the shape of your hips." He picks up the panties and kneels swiftly, motioning for me to hold onto his shoulder as he lifts my legs, one at a time, carefully pulling the smooth, silk fabric up my legs. He follows their trail with his hands, adjusting them over the curve of my ass before his face brushes softly against my crotch.

He's on his feet now reaching for the jeans. "When I f*cked you that first night, you wrapped your beautiful legs around me."

"I remember," I offer quietly.

He helps me step into the jeans, gliding them effortlessly up my legs. "I remember the pressure of your knees on my sides as you clenched yourself around me. Your body fits so perfectly with mine."

He reaches down to clasp them shut, pulling the zipper into place.

"Your tits are just the right size." The bra I was wearing under my dress is in his hands now. He pulls it over my breasts, adjusting the flesh within the fabric before he reaches behind me, hooking it closed.

I watch as he picks up the blouse and wraps it around my body. "When I was walking down the aisle towards my seat on the plane that night, I saw your face."

My eyes bolt up to meet his. "I don't remember seeing you before you sat down."

"You were looking to the side. There was a man sitting across the aisle from you." His hands rest on my shoulders briefly before he begins buttoning the blouse. "I saw the way you were looking at him. I saw the way he was looking at you."

I push back to that place in time. I don’t recall any face but Ben's. The moment he sat next to me, the electrical currents in my brain piled into overdrive. He had turned to look at me and I knew in that moment that he was unlike any man I'd ever been near. The raw confidence that seeped through his voice had captivated me instantly. If I hadn't gone to that hotel room with him I would have spent half the night in the bed in Alexa's guest room with my hand pressed between my legs imagining the taste and feel of his body.

"I can't remember," I offer as his fingers fly over the buttons fastening them. "I don't remember any man but you."

"Good." His voice carries relief that's not overt. "I wanted you the moment I saw you. I had to f*ck you that night."

I had to f*ck him too. I wanted to f*ck him still. Any question of this being a random one night stand has been erased in the past twenty four hours. This man is now part of my life.



***



"I'm doing rounds and I'm already running late." His eyes scan the expensive watch on his wrist. "I've arranged for a car to take you to Noah's."

Shit. Noah. I'll see Noah soon.

"Thank you," I say because it's necessary. It fills the space where I should be telling him that I'm going to talk to Noah about him. I have to.

"Kayla." His hand brushes across my cheek. The pain that was there immediately after my fall is dull now. It's become a quiet ache in the background. My reflection in the bathroom mirror was comforting. I don't look nearly as bad as my imagination lead me to believe I would. It's obvious something happened but I can explain it to Alexa. She'll understand.

"I need to tell him that I know you." Mincing words at this point seems trite and unnecessary. We both know that I'm obligated to Noah.

His head shakes slightly. "I don't want you to tell him about me."

I don’t want to have the conversation either but I owe Noah. I can't walk back into his home and not reveal the fact that I've been sharing a bed with his twin brother. That's not who I am. I can't do that to Noah, but more than that, I can't do that to Alexa. She has been the one person in my life who has been steady and composed the last few weeks. "I have to tell him."


"I want to tell him." He pushes his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Let me tell him, please."

There's no need to offer a plea. "You'll talk to him?"

"Yes." There's nothing more to sustain his answer. He doesn't elaborate.

"When?" I push because I need to. I'll be leaving Alexa and Noah's home tomorrow to settle into the small, one bedroom in Murray Hill. My life will no longer be connected so literally to theirs, but I'm part of their family and they are part of mine. A secret this size can't be tucked away in a corner. It builds in size every day. It increases in depth when it's willfully ignored. I don’t want what I have with Ben to end. There's a whisper of promise there that I want to nurture.

"Come back and talk to me tomorrow." He takes a step towards the door. "I really need to get to work."

My stomach tangles in a knot so big I fear I'll trip over it if I move. "You want me to go back there and not say anything?"

"I want you to trust that I'll tell him soon." It's a morsel meant to placate me.

I stare into his face. His expression is unreadable. He's asking me to entrust my friendship with Alexa into his hands. They are hands that I barely know but want desperately to believe in. "I don’t know."

"Kayla." His hands jump to my face, cupping my cheeks within them. "I need a bit of time to process this. I promise I'll talk to him soon."

I want to see the truth behind the words when I look into his eyes. I need to. I bow my head in acceptance fearing that the silent promise I just made will cost me Alexa's love and friendship if she ever finds out that I already know Noah's twin brother. All of this may ruin our connection forever.