“What?” I screeched, coming out of my zone, “like… now?”
“Not now but if it happens, I won’t be disappointed.”
My mind boggled for a moment and then I put my hands to his face, which was looking down at my body and made him look me in the eyes.
“I gave in on the together thing and the moving in thing, going a lot faster than made me comfortable. You gotta give me time with this baby thing, Lee, it’s only been a week.”
He kissed me and I slid back into my zone. When he lifted his head away from mine I found I was totally okay with the baby thing but he said, “I’ll go get the condoms.”
He got out, wrapped a towel around his waist and went downstairs.
Yep, this wasn’t so bad after all.
*
We were lying on my bed, me face up, Lee face down with his arm wrapped around my waist.
We got kind of carried away, what with seven boxes of condoms within easy reach and after christening the shower, I discovered (to my great fortune) that Cherry was right. Use your mouth on Lee in the morning, he’ll return the favor.
“I have an idea,” I said.
Lee got up on his forearms and looked at me.
“The last idea you shared with me got us caught in a cemetery in the middle of the night. You and Ally fell into a freshly dug grave and made such a ruckus the neighbors called the cops.”
I smiled. That was a good night, a night just before I started to avoid Lee. Eddie, Lee, Ally and me were sitting around drinking and I dared them to go to a graveyard at midnight. It was fun. Though, I could have done without the falling into the grave part.
“This is a better idea,” I told him.
He rolled to his side, the eye-crinkle thing going. “Let’s hear it.”
“I think I should pretend to let Wilcox win. I can go out to dinner with him and…”
I petered out when the eye-crinkle faded and Lee’s face got hard and scary. “That’s not gonna happen.”
“Listen, Lee! I can wear a wire, maybe get him drunk, get him talking –”
“It’s not gonna happen.”
“It’s a good plan!” I said, kind of loudly.
“It’s a screwball plan.”
I’m so sure!
I sat up and stomped to the dresser, pulled out a pair of cream panties with little orange squares on and pulled them up. I grabbed a matching bra and struggled into it, the whole time I was saying, “At least we can try. I can carry a stun gun in my purse. You can have someone follow us… oof!”
All of a sudden, his arm came around my middle, knocking the wind out of me as he pulled me forcibly backwards. I landed on the bed and bounced a couple of times before his body settled on mine.
“Do you love me?” he asked.
I stared at him, getting my breath back.
“Do you love me?” he asked again, this time impatiently and the muscle was going in his cheek. Something else was happening here, something that didn’t have to do with Wilcox or the current fucked-upedness of my life.
Shit!
Shit, shit, shit.
“Lee –”
“Answer me, Indy.”
Shit!
When I hesitated too long, he said (or more like exploded), “Christ!” and then he knifed away from me and went to the dresser and opened and slammed the drawers until he found his and pulled out a pair of those sexy, white brief shorts.
“Lee –”
“I feel like I’ve wanted you for a lifetime. Now, I’ve got you, you want to put yourself even more in the line of sight of a crazy man. He’s already so dangerous you can’t make a move without protection and you want to bait him and use yourself as bait.”
“Lee –”
He pulled on the briefs, pulled on a pair of Levi’s and I sat up on the bed.
“Problem is, you’re so fucking determined to take life by the throat, the only way I can be certain you won’t do it on your own is to force you into a safe house, which’ll mean I could lose you.” He pulled on a white tee and kept talking. “What decision do I make? Keep you alive and piss you off so much you’ll take off or let you risk your life, which, crossing Coxy is a possibility.”
“Lee, if you’d quit ranting and listen to me –”
He turned to me and the look on his face was frightening.
“I’m not ranting.” he said coldly, “I’m very serious.”
I was getting that.
He looked away and started to slam through the drawers again and I stood up on the bed and shouted, “Liam Nightingale, listen to me!”
He turned and looked at my middle, not expecting me to be standing, then his eyes traveled up.
“You don’t want me to use myself as bait, I won’t,” I yelled.
“How do I trust that?” he yelled back.
Now I knew how the little boy who cried wolf felt.
“I promise,” I shouted.
“How do I trust that?” he shouted.
“You just do!” I was back to yelling.
“Do you love me?” He followed suit with the yelling.