I didn’t respond.
I walked to the end of the check-out, commandeered the cart the minute the bag boy put my last bag in it and, without looking back, motored out the door.
*
I saw Mr. Greasy Coveral s pul ing my car into the lot of the apartment building just before Eddie and I swung in. I felt a moment of elation. My car was not only running, it looked waxed and happy-shiny, like it had a new lease on life.
Eddie parked, I threw open the door to the truck and walked to Mr. Greasy Coveral s.
“It’s fixed!” I cried.
“Yeah, it had a blah, blah, blah, with its blahdity, blah, blah. Then there was the blah, blah blah.” Of course, he used words for the “blah blahs” but I didn’t understand a single one of them.
“How much?” I asked, looking happily at my car, which represented freedom, independence and no more borrowed rides or bus and taxi fares.
“Seven hundred and fifty dol ars.”
My breath caught, my heart seized and I was sure I was going to throw up.
I looked at Mr. Greasy Coveral s.
“Why didn’t you cal me before doing anything?” I asked.
Mechanics were supposed to cal , tel you what it was going to cost before sucking away your lifeblood. That’s how it worked. I thought it was the law.
“That’s the charge before detailing it, the oil change, putting in a new filter and plugs and changing the wipers.
Oh, and you had a brake light out.”
I started hyperventilating.
Mr. Greasy Coveral s watched me like I was a particularly inept performance artist. Then he looked at Eddie. Then back at me when I yel ed.
“I don’t have that kind of money! The car isn’t even worth that kind of money!”
He looked back at Eddie as Eddie’s hand slid against the smal of my back.
“It’s taken care of,” Mr. Greasy Coveral s said at the exact same time that Eddie said, “Jet.”
“Taken…” I started to say and then it hit me. Mom, Ada and me watching through the window as Eddie talked to Mr. Greasy Coveral s.
I turned and stared at Eddie. “You didn’t.” A car swung in, Mr. Greasy Coveral s handed Eddie my car keys and got in the other car and took off. I didn’t take my eyes off Eddie the whole time.
“Tel me you didn’t,” I demanded.
He watched me closely.
“I did,” he replied.
I considered scratching his eyes out. Then I thought that probably wasn’t very nice, I mean, he just spent, like, a thousand dol ars on my piece of shit car.
Then I considered screaming. But I decided to reserve my energy. Who knew what was going to happen next and I needed to be prepared.
So, instead, I stomped to the truck. I wrenched open the door to get the grocery bags but I was pul ed out of the way and the door was shut by Eddie.
That was it, I could take no more, and I whirled around to face him.
“I’l pay you back, every penny. The minute we get upstairs, I’l write you a check.”
It would almost break the bank but I was going to do it.
“I’m not gonna take your money,” he said.
“You are. I don’t like to be indebted to anyone.” Especially not you, I thought but did not say.
Especially not you, I thought but did not say.
His hand went to my bel y and he pushed me gently against the truck.
“That’s the point. I want you indebted to me.” He what?
“You what?” I yel ed.
He closed in and I had nowhere to retreat. Anyway, I was too freaked out to retreat.
“If you’re indebted to me, you’re connected to me.
Whatever makes you take care of your Mom, your Dad, kids getting chemo and friends who make bad decisions on who to date is gonna make you stay connected to me because you owe me. You aren’t connected to me, the minute this is al over with your Dad, you’re gone. I’m makin’
certain that doesn’t happen.”
I didn’t know what to say. He’d total y figured me out.
How did that happen?
Nevertheless, I tried to speak.
“I… you…”
He cut me off, bent his head closer and started talking. I could smel him and I could feel his heat and I had to admit, it was getting to me.
“Whatever your next disaster, I’m gonna be there. Buying your groceries, fixin’ your car, dealin’ with your Dad, I don’t give a fuck. I want you to owe me, it gives me the upper hand and I’m gonna need the upper hand to wear you down. And Jet…”
He stopped, he was looking into my eyes and he had that look he had this morning, after Mom and Lavonne came home and before I walked out of my room. The look made my bel y feel funny and my knees get weak.
“What?” I asked. Honestly the suspense was kil ing me.
“There’s one thing today proved.”
He moved in even closer, his body was brushing mine and his face was an inch away.
“What?” I kind of shouted. What could I say? It’d been a rough day; I was close to losing it.
“Whatever happens, you’re worth it and I don’t want to hear you say again that you’re not. Get me?” I felt that warm strangeness hit me and I had no choice but to nod.
Chapter Eleven