“I’m awake,” I told him.
“It’s a big day, shit to do. But before we get to it, we gotta talk.”
It was a big day.
It was Lee and Indy’s wedding day.
Luckily, since I’d been invited to the wedding and the bachelorette party that was supposed to be last night, I hadn’t scheduled any gigs for the weekend.
Unfortunately, since we were al in danger of being kidnapped and/or murdered, Lee had cancel ed his bachelor party and, at the same time, cancel ed Indy’s bachelorette party.
Incidental y, just as an FYI, Lee’s party was meant to be at Lincoln’s Road House and, in a bizarre Rock Chick/Hot Bunch twist, Indy’s was scheduled to be at Smithie’s Strip Club.
This had not gone down wel . Al y went berserk when Lee had cancel ed the bachelorette party that she’d spent months planning. He’d made his announcement after everyone had checked in to see with their own eyes that Tex was stil breathing so everyone was around to get the news firsthand and witness the knockdown, drag out fight that ensued.
I didn’t have any siblings but always wanted one until seeing Lee and Al y fight.
After it went on awhile, Hank got involved, trying to be the diplomat (and failing) and then it escalated.
Then Eddie and Indy got involved and it exploded.
We al watched as the five of them shouted at each other about stuff that was so historical, no one knew what they were on about.
They were yel ing about some kegger Indy and Al y had masterminded in high school which, for some reason, ended with Hank, Lee, Darius and Eddie being picked up by the cops, when we learned that Hank, who had been at the University of Colorado, was nearly suspended (and he wasn’t happy about this, even years later).
“You haven’t changed one fuckin’ bit, either of you!” Eddie shouted, pointing at them both.
“Good!” Al y shouted back and planted her hands on her hips and I immediately saw where Mace was coming from with the hands-to-hips business.
“Gotta tel you, beautiful, never liked the idea of you havin’ a bachelorette party. You and Al y plus the Rock Chicks equals disaster at the best of times and these are far from the best of times. I’m fuckin’ thril ed I got a reason to cancel it,” Lee said to Indy.
Indy let out a gust of air between pursed lips and turned to me. “Tel me he did not just say that.” Instantly Mace was at my ear. “For fuck’s sake, don’t speak.”
Tex boomed, “Jesus Jones but I’m glad I wasn’t whacked last night. If I was dead, I’d’ve missed this! ”
“We’l have a party after ya’l get back from your honeymoon,” Daisy tried to play peacemaker.
“If you do, Jet’s not goin’,” Eddie announced.
Uh-oh.
“What?” Jet, who had been keeping herself removed, asked.
“Roxie either,” Hank threw down.
Uh-oh again!
“Sorry?” Roxie’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh my,” Lana, standing beside me, breathed.
“You’re not goin’,” Eddie repeated to Jet.
“You heard me,” Hank said to Roxie.
“They scare me,” Chloe, who was on the other side of Lana, whispered. “But stil , I think those boys might want to quit while they’re ahead.”
They didn’t hear Chloe and were on such a tear, without remorse, Eddie and Hank dragged Jet and Roxie into the fight and it degenerated to the point where I feared the roof would blow off Fortnum’s.
“Quiet! ” Darius al of a sudden shouted and everyone went quiet and looked at him. “Jesus, you never learn do you?” he asked the warriors.
Then he turned and pointed at Mace. “He knows.” He turned to Vance and pointed. “He knows.” Then he turned to Jules and said, “She knows too. And you al know I fuckin’
know. You gotta learn, life’s too damn short for this shit.” He got up close to Indy and Lee and snapped, “You two’ve been in love since you were kids, tomorrow, you’re gettin’ married and today you’re fightin’ about what?
What’re you fightin’ about?” Lee’s face got tight and Indy looked at her feet while Darius went on, “Eddie’s right and he’s wrong, it ain’t just Indy and Al y who’ve never changed.
It’s al you al .” His finger circled the lot of them as he continued, “How fuckin’ lucky are you, even with al the shit that’s gone down, that you haven’t learned what we’ve learned?” he asked, throwing his arm around the room and ending with his fist thumping his chest. “Rejoice, for fuck’s sake,” After that, Darius turned to Tex and said, “Good to see you’re alive, big man.” Then he turned on his boot and he was gone.
“He scares me too,” Chloe mumbled.
I stifled a giggle.
Indy bit her lip and turned to Lee. “Can we chat, um…
privately?”
Lee’s face went soft, his arm went around her shoulders and they disappeared into the books.
So did Hank and Roxie, Eddie and Jet.
Al y looked at everyone else. “So, I’m an idiot. This isn’t news,” she announced.