Reunited in Love

Chapter Eighteen

CHRIST, ETHAN THOUGHT. Everything made so much sense now.

No wonder Kerri looked so sad whenever she saw children. No wonder she’d never spoken of her family. No wonder she’d tried to ignore her birthday and any other occasion that people generally celebrated.

Ethan had never had a child of his own, so he probably didn’t truly understand the depths of grief that parents experienced when they lost their children. But he couldn’t fathom how her mother could blame her for the loss of her husband and two sons. Kerri had been a newborn, just about to embark on life.

Her mother should’ve been stronger. For her sake.

He held Kerri tightly, letting her cry, willing her to let go of the pain. The hot tears on his shirt seemed to scald his skin. He wanted to absorb all her darkness and grief.

“Kerri, listen to me. It’s not your fault.” His voice cracked, and he took a moment to compose himself. “You can’t go through life blaming yourself for what happened. It was an accident.”

She shook her head, crying harder. Ethan hurt for her, the pain sharp and twisting. Something that should’ve been a great day of joy had turned into a day of sorrow for Kerri…and he felt a huge rage against her family build.

“Kerri, it’s not your fault.”

She shook her head again.

He took her face between his hands and tipped it upward so she could see his eyes. “Kerri. It’s not your fault. Say it.”

“But it is my fault,” she sobbed out, her voice rough. “And Mom knew it. I wish she’d just told me everything instead of letting me spend my entire childhood trying to earn her love and approval. I’m sure every time she saw me she wished I’d never even been conceived.”

How much had her mother grieved to create such despair and sorrow in Kerri? He couldn’t even imagine growing up in a household where he was unwanted. His family had issues—what family didn’t?—but everyone knew they were loved and that they could count on each other. Kerri hadn’t even had that, and it was a wonder she hadn’t crumpled. He kissed her mouth, salty with her tears. “Well I, for one, am glad you were born. I’m glad you’re brave and courageous enough to overcome everything life has thrown at you and survive. You’re a survivor, Kerri. You’re stronger than anything else that’s been trying to beat you down. You’re a f*cking miracle.”

She laughed humorlessly. “A miracle? That’s a first.”

“What else could you possibly be? Despite it all, you’re a lovely woman who cares. You’re smart and carved out a good life for yourself. You never used your past to get sympathy. You just kept your chin up and carried on. If that’s not freaking amazing, I don’t know what is.”

“You’re biased.” She sniffed.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not right.”

Ethan also realized that he’d been mistaken about what had initially caught his attention the first place. It hadn’t been the sorrow in her eyes or her elusiveness. It had been her strength, her spirit. It made her go on, no matter how unfairly life treated her and tried to beat her down.

He had thought he could make her stick around for a while, until they got tired of each other. That, too, had been a huge mistake. He wanted her to stay forever.

Ever since Lisa, he’d purposely gone for bubbly women who had their acts together and laughed easily. They wore impeccable makeup and dressed fashionably. Yet none of his exes could compare to Kerri, even with her mascara smudged and running, her nose red and her lips pale.

He sucked in a breath, feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach. How in the world…when had it happened? He was in love with this woman, this beautiful, stubborn, headstrong woman who humbled him with her strength.

He kissed her gently, a comforting kiss that said that even if the entire world turned its back on her, he’d be there. He’d fight anyone and everyone to keep her safe and cherished. He never wanted her to feel alone and unwanted or doubt how precious she was.

And he knew he could give her something that, for all his wealth, could never be purchased. A loving family to call her own.

Her mouth opened, her tongue curling against his. The gesture was somehow shy, as though she wasn’t sure of herself in the relationship any longer. He deepened the kiss, cradling the back of her head, his fingers entwined in the silk of her hair.

His heart hammered as she lay in his arms, their mouths fused. He ran his free hand along her delicate neck and shoulders, the warm skin supple beneath his palm. All this…all of her… She was his.

They pulled each other’s clothes off, the fabric landing haphazardly around them. When Kerri tipped him backward, he went with it, lying back and looking up as she moved over him, her beautiful breasts swaying gently. He brushed his fingertips over the pointed nipples. She shivered, but kept moving until she covered his large hard body as much as she could with her small and soft one.

She ran her hands over his chest, and he held still, not wanting to destroy the intimacy. Something had shifted between them. The air was thick and syrupy, making him dizzy with its sweetness. Her scent hung heavily, all woman and arousal.

Suddenly she left him. He had an instant to register the cool air blowing over his torso and belly before her mouth closed over the head of his cock. He jerked at the moist wet sensation.

She sucked him deep inside, her cheeks hollowing, licking him and running her lips over his super sensitive erection. He thought he’d go insane from the intense pleasure, but he held on even as a sense of guilt came over him. This was her birthday, and he was the one who should be giving her pleasure, not the other way around.

But when he tried to change their positions, she gripped his wrists hard and pushed them against the floor. Ethan gave himself up to it while Kerri did everything in her power to make him lose his mind.

She increased the pace and grazed his balls lightly with her fingernails. Control went out the window and the most amazing pleasure ripped through him like lightning.

Eventually his breathing settled. He put his arms around Kerri. “My god, it’s your birthday, not mine.”

The smile she gave him was so tender his heart bled. “But you’ve already given me the best present, Ethan. Thank you.”

He cupped her face and kissed her, tasted his pleasure on her lips. She devoured him, still hungry. Her body was humming with desire, primed and ready.

His cock swelled with the need to satisfy her. His knuckles brushed the folds between her thighs, and he groaned at how wet she was.

“Ride me, Kerri,” he said, his voice strained. “Use me for your pleasure.”

Heavy-lidded, she looked at him. Her gaze darkened with sharp, intense desire. “All right.”

Her eyes on his, she put a condom on him and lowered herself slowly over him, taking in his cock, killing him inch by slow inch. She started moving, testing different rhythms and speed. Her gorgeous breasts swayed over him, their nipples like berries.

Boldly, she took his hand and put it between their bodies. “Touch me. Make me feel good.”

Then she angled her hips so she was bumping into his eager thumb every time she took him deep inside. Streaks of white-hot pleasure tightened in his belly. Jesus, get a grip. This is for Kerri.

Breaths shuddered out of her, her skin glistening with exertion. Ethan gripped her perfectly-shaped ass with his free hand and matched her frantic pace. Her face twisted, she arched her back as a powerful orgasm hit her.


Her inner muscles milked him, and he couldn’t hold on anymore. He clenched his teeth as he came hard within her.

She went boneless over him. He held her tightly and finally understood what it meant to be slain by a woman.

*



After repairing her makeup, Kerri sat and listened to Ethan sing “Happy Birthday.” He had the loveliest baritone voice. Was there anything this man couldn’t do well?

She blew out the candles—a new set, since the first had melted into uneven puddles.

I wish this would never end.

Even as she had the thought, she knew it was selfish. Ethan had never said anything about permanence. Their relationship was supposed to last only until they found someone else. Still, if only for this day, she was glad she had agreed to his proposal.

“I should probably call and let Natalie know I’m all right,” Kerri said around a mouthful of cake. It seemed like the most delicious thing she’d ever had.

“Just send her a text. A short one. Let’s keep this time for ourselves.”

Kerri sighed. “I sort of ruined it, didn’t I?”

“No, it was me. I should’ve planned better.”

“Don’t say that. You did everything right.” She looked at him. He might never understand how cathartic it was for her to share her old pain and memories with someone. And beyond that, to hear that same person tell her it wasn’t her fault after her family had treated her like she was the source of their greatest loss, without ever telling her why—Barron had forbidden it out of deference to his daughter’s emotional state.

No, Kerri would always treasure what Ethan had done, for it had been the most wonderful gift anyone could’ve given her.

He poured a glass of Merlot. “Here.”

“No, thanks.”

He cocked his head. “Natalie told me you’re partial to Merlot and whiskey.”

“Was partial.”

“What happened?”

Apparently it was a day for confessions. “I had some health issues.”

Ethan’s gaze sharpened. “What kind of issues?”

“Some fainting and a loss of appetite, nothing serious.”

“I presume you saw a doctor?”

She nodded. “A bad liver and terrible blood pressure, you know, the typical stuff.”

“Uh-huh.”

“He told me to quit drinking, cut back on my hours”—she snorted—“like that was possible, and not stress about anything.” She shook her head. “Like that was possible either.”

“So you quit your job.”

No, there was a bigger reason for that—Barron’s sudden insistence on seeing her in person in Hong Kong and ruining the cocooned life she’d made for herself—but she didn’t want to talk about her family again. Once in twenty-four hours was more than enough. “I can always go back. They put me on a leave of absence for now because the MDs think I’ll be back, even though I told them I was through. Not too many people quit without a better offer after getting this far, and they knew I didn’t have another position lined up. And, you know…they want me. I’m good at my job.”

Ethan nodded. “That you are.” Then he made a wry face. “So my giving you employment hasn’t been good for your recovery.”

“Please. I would have died of boredom doing nothing. I’m not any good at sitting around on a beach somewhere. If you hadn’t had me go over TLD’s numbers, I would’ve found something else. Some nine-to-five so I’d have more time to relax.”

“Uh-huh. I saw you working all weekend. Nights, too. And after I told you not to,” he said, feigning outrage.

“I lost track of time.” People didn’t understand how she found comfort in numbers. They soothed her because they were logical and constant. One plus one was always two, not three or four depending on their mood. She took another bite of cake. “This is amazing,” she said, trying to drag the topic away from her health and job and family. “Did you make it too?”

“Nope. Store-bought.”

“Ah, so you are mortal.”

He chuckled. “Believe me, there are more than a few things I’m not good at, so I outsource them. As for the rest… Well, I do my best.”

And undoubtedly got the result he wanted.

So what did he want from their relationship? Whatever it was had to be something more than just a few good rolls in the hay, given the amount of time and care he put into it. Kerri was apprehensive about the eventual end to their relationship. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to let him go without her heart breaking, but she was also terrified he might want more than what they’d agreed to.

Granted, he wasn’t running—even though he’d learned how messed up her personal life was. But did they have any future beyond their time in bed together? She still couldn’t go to social functions with him, and she had no idea how to be a good partner to someone like Ethan, who had everything and could seemingly accomplish anything he set his mind to.

But for now, she let the worries go. She would enjoy what she had until the inevitable end.