His eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”
“At Evelyn’s party, for one. You were so pissed at me for being Carl’s assistant. You gave a better rundown of my credentials than I could. How did you know so much about me? It wasn’t in my fellowship file. So how, Damien?”
“I’ve followed your academic career. I’ve talked with your professors. I’ve watched you blossom.”
“I—” He’s knocked me off kilter with the matter-of-fact nature of his confession. “But why?”
He says nothing.
“Damien, why?” I hear panic creep into my voice.
“Because I want you,” he finally says, and the heat in his voice curls through me so vividly that the panic fades and I have to force myself to concentrate. “I have since I met you at the pageant.”
My mind is spinning. “But—but why not say something back then?”
His small smile gives away nothing. “I can be a very patient man when the goal is worth waiting for.”
“I—” I don’t know what to say. My mind is spinning with questions. I want to ask why he’s so certain I’m worth it, but the best I can manage is, “Why me?”
The corner of his mouth quirks up. “I told you that, too. We’re kindred spirits. And you’re strong, Nikki. There’s a core of strength and confidence in you that’s damn sexy.”
I don’t meet his eyes. As he always does, he understood the heart of my question. “Have you not noticed the scars?” I ask. “I’m not strong, I’m weak.” And I can’t shake the fear that it’s because I’m weak that he wants me. Damien likes to be the one in control, after all.
“Weak?” He’s staring at me like I’ve gone a little crazy. “The hell you are. You’re not weak, Nikki. You’re powerful. You’re a survivor. When I hold you, I can feel the power in you. It’s like holding a live wire.”
He moves closer, then cups my face gently in his palm. “That’s why I want you, baby. I’m not weak, either. Why would I want a woman who is?”
I tremble. He sees in me what I find so attractive in him. Power. Confidence. Ability.
But are those really my traits, or is he only seeing the Nikki I show the world? Or is that Nikki part of me, too?
“You know so much about me, and I hardly know you,” I say. “Do you know this is the first time I’ve even seen your bedroom?”
“There’s not much to see.”
“That’s not the point.” I tilt my head to look up at him, and find his eyes fixed hard on my face.
“Nikki, I need to know that we’re okay.”
I have to fight not to nod. I so desperately want everything to be okay between me and Damien. But it’s going to take more than just wants and wishes. “Will you try?” I ask. “Try to share more with me?”
“I’ve shared more with you than I have with any woman,” he says.
I think about what he’s told me about his dad and his tennis career. “I know. I just—I just really want to know you. Does that make sense?” I don’t say that I know he has secrets in his past; it is those secrets I want him to share. I force myself to smile brightly. “Unlike some people, I don’t have the resources to find out on my own.”
“I thought you had Wikipedia,” he deadpans.
I make a face, and he bends down to kiss my nose. It’s playful and erotic and I realize that my fears have evaporated. Has he soothed them? Or am I simply unable to think clearly when I’m close to this man?
“It’s not easy for me,” he says, the intensity of his words surprising me. “I’ve never wanted to share the bits and pieces of my life before.”
“Do you want to now?” My words are a whisper, as if truly voicing them will kill that little bit of hope.
He strokes my cheek, making me tremble. “Yes.”
The relief that floods my body has a sensual, fiery quality. “Then you’ll try?”