I could tell him I loved him over and over again, and I know it affected him when I did, but he needed the total surrender of my body—a display of trust he knew meant a great deal because of my past—to really believe it.
As he’d told me once, he had been the recipient of many I love yous over the years, but he’d never believed them because they hadn’t been backed up with truth, trust, and honesty. The words meant little to him, which was why he refused to say them to me. I tried not to let him see how it hurt me that he wouldn’t say them. I figured that was an adjustment I’d have to make to be with him.
“Good morning, Eva.”
I glanced up from my desk and found Mark standing by my cubicle. His slightly crooked smile was always a winner. “Hey. I’m ready to roll when you are.”
“Coffee first. You up for a refill?”
Grabbing my empty mug off my desk, I stood. “You bet.”
We headed toward the break room.
“You look like you got a tan,” Mark said, glancing over at me.
“Yeah, I did a little sun lounging over the weekend. It was good to be lazy and do nothing. Actually, that’s probably one of my favorite things to do, period.”
“I’m envious. Steven can’t sit still for too long. He always wants to drag me somewhere for something.”
“My roommate’s the same way. It’s exhausting how he runs around.”
“Oh, before I forget.” He gestured for me to enter the break room first. “Shawna wants you to get in touch. She’s got concert tickets for some new rock band. I think she wants to see if you’d want them.”
I thought of the attractive red-haired waitress I’d met the week before. She was Steven’s sister, and Steven was Mark’s longtime partner. The two men had met in college and had been together ever since. I really liked Steven. I was pretty sure I’d really like Shawna, too.
“Are you okay with me reaching out to her?” I had to ask, because she was—for all intents and purposes—Mark’s sister-in-law and Mark was my boss.
“Of course. Don’t worry. It won’t be weird.”
“All right.” I smiled and hoped to add another girlfriend to my new life in New York. “Thanks.”
“Thank me with a cup of coffee,” he said, pulling out a mug from the cupboard and handing it to me. “You make it taste better than I do.”
I shot him a look. “My dad uses that line.”
“Must be true, then.”
“Must be a standard guy finagle,” I shot back. “How do you and Steven divvy up coffee making?”
“We don’t.” He grinned. “There’s a Starbucks on the corner by our place.”
“I’m sure there’s a way to call that cheating, but I haven’t had enough caffeine to think of it yet.” I passed over his filled mug to him. “Which probably means I shouldn’t share the idea that just came to me.”
“Go for it. If it really sucks, I can hold it against you forever.”
“Gee. Thanks.” I held my mug between both hands. “Would it work to market the blueberry coffee like tea instead? You know, the coffee in a chintz teacup and saucer with maybe a scone and some clotted cream in the background? Give it a high-end, midafternoon snack sort of treatment? Throw in a fabulously handsome Englishman to sip it with?”
Mark’s lips pursed as he thought about it. “I think I like it. Let’s go run it by the creatives.”
*
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to Las Vegas?”
I sighed inwardly at the high note of irritated anxiety in my mother’s voice and adjusted my grip on my desk phone receiver. I’d barely returned my butt to my chair when the phone had rung. I suspected if I checked my voice mail, I’d find a message or two from her. When she got worked up about something, she couldn’t let it go. “Hi, Mom. I’m sorry. I planned on calling you at lunch and catching up.”
“I love Vegas.”
“You do?” I thought she hated anything remotely related to gambling. “I didn’t know that.”