Redemption in Love

Chapter Thirteen




THE HOUSE THE KIRKS WERE STAYING AT was much more modern in aesthetics than the Lloyds’ property. The construction material consisted of glass, marble, chrome and sea-green tiles. Whoever designed it didn’t do it for families with children, and why would a rocker like Steve Freeman think of children? A quick google search she’d done to make sure she didn’t embarrass herself before her husband’s friends revealed he hadn’t even claimed his son Damien until the latter was well into his thirties.

Amandine wore a light pink silk dress and white sandals after a long debate with herself. Gavin seemed very close to Damien, and she wanted to make a good impression. Gavin put on a simple pale blue polo shirt and khaki shorts, revealing strong arms and legs dusted with wiry hair. Must be nice to be able to wear anything, she thought with a half-envious, half-dreamy sigh. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t in his fancy European suit. He looked scrumptious no matter what he wore—or didn’t.

The couple came out to greet Amandine and Gavin. Victoria had light makeup on, just some mascara and lip-gloss. Her cute sleeveless white dress set off her golden tan. The scent of shampoo and soap lingered on her skin from a recent shower.

Damien was in a white shirt, about a third of the way unbuttoned. Casual khakis and bare feet made him look at home and comfortable. He took a bottle of wine from Gavin, while his wife hugged Gavin and Amandine.

“Come on in,” Victoria said. “I hope you don’t mind the mess. We’re doing the last minute packing.”

Three black cello cases sat like mini-hills in a large living room with an ocean view. A cello rested on its side, a bow balanced on top, next to a white concert grand piano. The room smelled faintly of wood and metal. Several electric guitars gleamed in glass cases mounted high on the walls. The sound system was playing some classical piece that Amandine didn’t recognize. The place was obviously decorated for musicians, and she felt like she was in an unfamiliar world.

“We set things up on the second floor. It’s got a better view,” Damien said. “Is this your first time in Thailand?”

Amandine nodded.

“You’re in for a treat. The food here is incredible.” Victoria made a face. “I gain weight every time we come.”

Her husband wrapped his arm around her waist. “Darling, it just means more of you to love.”

She laughed and slapped his hand playfully.


Envy shot through Amandine, so sharp and unexpected that she almost gasped. It was obvious Damien adored his wife. His love for her was in his eyes, his voice, and his smile. Was it because they were so much alike? They both seemed very successful, and well-educated. What did Amandine have in common with Gavin? He had the world at his feet, her extraordinary husband. She on the other hand was painfully ordinary.

The Kirks led Amandine and Gavin to the dining area upstairs. It jutted over the back of the house, with three glass walls facing the ocean. A few gray clouds were scudding on the horizon.

Damien gestured around the circular table. “Please, have a seat.”

Amandine took one of the comfortable high-backed teak chairs, and Victoria sat next to her with Damien on the other side of her.

Gavin uncorked the bottle of wine he’d brought and poured for everyone except Amandine, who opted for a fresh mango and pineapple smoothie.

Victoria took a sip and closed her eyes. “Mmm.” She glanced at Amandine. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’m, uh…” Ah, what the heck. People were going to find out about her baby soon enough. Amandine shrugged with a shy smile. “I’m expecting.”

The Kirks immediately erupted into joyous congratulations. Gavin grinned and said, “You can’t tell anybody. We haven’t even told my mom yet.”

Damien nodded. “Then our lips are sealed.” He held Victoria’s hand on the table.

“How far along are you?” Victoria asked.

“Only a couple of months.”

“How exciting! Let us know if it’s a boy or a girl, so we can send you some things.”

“You don’t have to,” Amandine said.

“I insist. We can be the baby’s honorary aunt and uncle.”

Touched, Amandine nodded. This was the kind of life her baby would be born to, surrounded by incredibly accomplished and successful people who were eager for its arrival. She supposed Damien and Victoria wouldn’t be the only honorary uncle and aunt. There were people like Mark Pryce, too.

She put her hand to her belly. If the marriage turned out to be unsalvageable, would she be being selfish by demanding to take the baby with her? Would the world still be the baby’s oyster if she took sole custody?

She could never give the child this…but she could give it love.

Will that be enough? Doesn’t your baby deserve more?

Lunch was served: two hollowed pineapples stuffed with fried rice and various dipping sauces sat to one side, while a huge platter of lobsters in yellow and orange sauce commanded the center of the tabletop. Two smaller, shallower bowls of sautéed seasonal vegetables occupied each side of the lobsters. A plate of grilled giant shrimp had a place of prominence in front of the lobsters.

“Oh my,” Amandine murmured. “I think we have enough to feed the entire region.”

“I know, right?” Victoria grinned. “I couldn’t believe it when the cook told us, but the fishermen were adamant about selling them all in a set.”

Everyone started eating—obviously the men were more interested in shoving the food into their stomachs than talking about it—and the conversation and drink started flowing more freely.

Amandine slowly got caught up on the dynamics of the group. Damien and Gavin were apparently very tight, and they respected each other’s taste and opinions. Gavin treated Victoria as a good friend, maybe because she was Damien’s wife. They hadn’t met until she’d gotten engaged to Damien. The three talked about all sorts of topics, ranging from music to literature and current affairs.

And as they spoke, Gavin frequently touched Amandine, making sure everything was to her liking and that she didn’t feel nauseous or sick. He kept serving her, so she wouldn’t have to reach for anything. He seemed to know what she wanted before she could ask. She was grateful for his solicitousness and care. She could almost believe he loved her the way his friend loved his wife.

“You’re very quiet,” Victoria said to Amandine.

Amandine smiled. “Just enjoying my food. Your cook’s amazing.”

Damien declared he had something to show Gavin before the dessert was served. The men excused themselves and went downstairs.

“I can’t believe he waited this long,” Victoria said conspiratorially. “Damien’s been wanting to get Gavin’s opinion on some kind of trust or something.”

“I didn’t know Damien was Gavin’s client.”

“Both Damien and his father. Gavin manages a chunk of Damien’s money, and every bit of Steve’s. Let’s just say that my father-in-law is not at all interested in finance.” Victoria gestured at Amandine’s half-empty glass. “More smoothie?”

Amandine held up a hand. “If I have any more calories you’ll have to wheel me out.”

Victoria laughed and helped herself to some more wine. “I’m glad to see you with Gavin. I was worried.”

“About what?”

“Oh, just… I’m sure you’ve seen them already, but there are some pictures of you, Gavin and Craig Richmond in front of Jones & Jones on Facebook.” She cleared her throat. “So I thought there might be some kind of trouble.”

Amandine bit her lower lip and sighed. Great. How many people have seen the photos?

Victoria smiled quickly. “But I’m glad everything’s fine between the two of you.”

“Facebook and Twitter and whatnot are nice to help people keep in touch. But I hate the gossip and the lack of privacy.”

“I agree, but if there were no Facebook, somebody would’ve found another way to spread the news. You know how it is.”

“Gavin said the same thing earlier.” Amandine scowled into her smoothie glass. “Guess it’s wrong to blame technology.”

“It’s human nature to gossip. In fact, it’s basically how I met Damien. I showed up at his secret hideout to interview him for a book I was working on. An authorized bio. He was furious.”

Amandine blinked. She couldn’t picture Damien angry with his wife. “What happened next?”

“I stuck it out, we fell in love and I finished the book. It was published around the time we got engaged. My publisher was thrilled that the book was coming out in the midst of our rather high-profile romance. Any publicity is good publicity…especially if they don’t have to pay for it.”

“I should look it up on Amazon.”

“I’ll send you an autographed copy if you want.”

“That’d be great.” Victoria had to be extremely talented. Amandine had tried to write once, and it wasn’t easy to write something that was both informative and enjoyable.

It seemed like Gavin surrounded himself with beautiful and talented people. Damien was a world-renowned cellist. Victoria was a successful writer. The firm employed a number of people who were apparently geniuses at investing.

Amandine felt somewhat small and insignificant in such company. She wasn’t particularly talented, she didn’t know how to manage a household, and the charity fundraisers she hosted couldn’t have happened without Brooke’s help and her husband’s social connections. Actually Brooke could run the entire foundation and all the fundraisers on her own with Gavin’s help here and there.

She was basically…superfluous.

“I understand why you’re unhappy about the lack of privacy,” Victoria said, apparently misunderstanding the cause of Amandine’s mood. “I lost practically all of mine when I married Damien. His fame forced me into the spotlight, and it was just…overwhelming. I’m the kind of girl who’d rather stay in my room all day and work on a manuscript.”


Amandine nodded, empathizing.

“But it’s the price I pay for being with the man I love. He makes me happy.”

“I’m glad. He seems to love you very much,” Amandine remarked.

“Yes. I’m lucky. And so are you.” Victoria smiled. “I don’t believe the gossip.”

“Um…there are the photos.”

“And? If any of what they’re implying is true, you wouldn’t be here with Gavin. It’s probably presumptuous of me to say so, but Gavin could have any woman he wanted and he’s one of those ‘cut losses fast’ types. He doesn’t cling to things, hoping that they’ll get better, whether it’s stock or relationships.”

Amandine nodded, surprised at how accurate the observation was.

“He’s crazy about you.”

“Thank you,” Amandine said in a practiced friendly tone. Gavin was crazy about another deal, making his next billion bucks, the idea of being a father…

Well, a lot of things other than his wife.

Victoria turned, hooking an arm over the back of her chair. “Look, can I be frank?”

“I guess.” Given the determined gleam in Victoria’s dark eyes, saying no wasn’t going to do any good.

“When I first met Damien, I was pretty provincial.”

Amandine blinked a few times. “You?”

“I grew up in a small town in the Midwest, and my father was a minister. I’d never been outside the country until I went to interview Damien. Heck, I’d never been on an airplane. Imagine how overwhelming it was to realize that by spending my life with him, I’d have to move in his circles. The people who come to his concerts don’t think anything of dropping two or three thousand bucks on a dress they’ll only wear once. Me…I felt like I owned the world when there was more than a thousand dollars in my bank account.”

Amandine nodded, understanding completely. Since her marriage, Amandine had been forced to become one of those people who dropped a couple grand on a dress they’d wear only once. Actually, she was worse; she’d spent that much on dresses she would probably never wear.

“He couldn’t give up his career for me,” Victoria said. “Ditto for his friends and acquaintances. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“So you changed.”

“I learned. There’s a difference.”

“You must be a fast learner.”

Victorian chuckled. “Just average. We had a long engagement, so there was some time to acclimate myself. For things I knew nothing about, I faked my way around.” The good humor vanished from her face, replaced by earnestness. “I’m a writer, and trust me, in Damien’s circles, that’s nothing. I had to start from scratch. But at least you’re an artist. Rich people love art.”

“I’m not that good of an artist.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Victoria leaned closer. “I’ll tell you a secret. People who like Gavin will give you a chance, and most likely be predisposed to like you, because Gavin loves you. It’s that simple.”

“Okay, my turn. You mind a frank question?”

“Not at all.”

“Why are you giving me all this advice?”

Victoria reached over and squeezed her hand. “Something about you reminds me of the old me, and in the beginning Damien had to reassure me that everything would be fine and that I was fabulous just as I was. I know you’ve been married for three years now, but if you and Gavin are having problems, talk. Let him know what you’re thinking, what you’re afraid of. He’s your husband, and it’s his job to make you happy.”

Amandine squeezed back. She was still skeptical, but now there was a small kernel of hope. She could change—no, learn. Things could work out. She’d been passive in her marriage, letting Gavin and his staff take charge because she’d never felt like she knew anything. But if she took more ownership, made Gavin realize his wife was worthy, made her in-laws see that she wasn’t some awkward unsophisticated girl who’d just gotten lucky…she might be able to save her marriage.

* * *



“I’d short these guys rather than investing with them,” Gavin said, looking over the documents.

Sitting in the only other armchair in the living room, Damien pursed his mouth. “That bad?”

Gavin tossed the papers on the coffee table. “Stay away from them.”

Damien shook his head. “What would I do without you?”

“Lose a few hundred thousand bucks? Which you can afford, though it’d be unpleasant.”

“True.” Damien lowered his voice. “Gavin, it’s not my place, but… What’s going on with you and your wife? I don’t know the full story behind the photos on Facebook, but nobody sees Craig Richmond and Samantha Jones just for the hell of it. And Amandine seems a bit…subdued.”

Shit. So the news was really out. “Amandine wants a divorce.”

“Damn. Sorry to hear that. Guess it’s not mutual?”

He shook his head. “My kid isn’t going to grow up without a father.”

When he didn’t say more, Damien raised both eyebrows. “That’s all?”

Gavin shrugged. He wasn’t used to explaining himself to anybody.

“Yet she’s here with you,” Damien continued. “Did you somehow figure out a way to keep her?”

“Sort of. I’m good at problem solving, remember?”

Damien grew thoughtful. “If divorce is what she really wants, she’ll eventually get it. If not now, then later.”

“Not without a fight. And I fight dirty.”

“You learned from an expert.” Damien knew a lot—though not all—about Jacob and Gavin’s history. Ethan had wisely removed himself from the toxic home environment. Besides, he was too close to Jacob’s age for the oldest Lloyd brother to torment with impunity. “Do you really want her to be with you? Both of you might be happier if you weren’t together. Some marriages just aren’t meant to be, children or no.”

Gavin shook his head. “It’s not like that. Amandine and I have something good.”

“How so?”

“She… She makes me calm and content. Peaceful. I want to make her as happy as she makes me.” Gavin stood up and started pacing. “The idea of losing her makes me sweaty with panic. It’s not like the kind of…distasteful bitterness I felt when Catherine chose Jacob.” Besides, if Amandine found him so objectionable, she wouldn’t respond to him in bed the way she did. He was showing her how much he valued her. Why wouldn’t it work out? “Amandine’s just in a snit over our anniversary dinner—which I missed—and this.” He raised his left hand to show to Damien the naked ring finger.

“What happened?”

Gavin gave his friend a succinct summary. “I know, I screwed up. Trust me, it won’t happen again.”

Damien nodded with approval.

“I think we’re going to be able to make it work. Amandine promised to give it another shot, a best shot.”

Damien considered. “What women say, what they do, what they think and what they actually want… Almost never the same.”

“That’s why I’ve always given her what all women want.”

“If so, why were you at Jones & Jones?” Damien asked mildly. “No, don’t answer. I don’t need to know the details. But let me offer some advice. You didn’t marry Amandine because she was just like every other woman out there. So don’t give her what you would give every other woman out there.”


Gavin paused. He hadn’t thought of it quite that way. “Then what the hell am I supposed to give her?”

Damien laughed. “How should I know? She’s your wife.”

* * *



The lunch ended at almost three in the afternoon only because Damien and Victoria had to get to the airport. Otherwise it might have turned into dinner. Amandine enjoyed the conversation, and as Victoria had suggested, she faked it when she wasn’t sure. No one seemed to notice or care, and she found herself looking forward to it when they promised to get together again back in the States.

Gavin drove to the Lloyd family vacation home. The road was just wide enough for two cars, the asphalt shimmering black and perfectly smooth. Tall trees lined each side, their green leaves broad and lazy.

Amandine looked up. “Are those banana trees?”

“Yes.”

“Are they native to Thailand? I don’t remember seeing any at Damien’s place.”

“Thailand has dozens of varieties, but these were specially planted.”

“Why?”

He slowed and seemed to be searching for something off the road. Finally he pulled over and pointed. “Look.”

A very large shadow was slipping along, back among the trees. “Oh my god. Is that an elephant?”

“We call him Lou.” The Bentley’s engine idled, humming smoothly. “Wanna see him up close?”

“Is it safe?”

“Sure.” They got out of the car. “Just don’t do anything to startle him.”

Lou moved slowly, surprisingly quiet for such a large animal, his trunk curling around bunches of bananas and feeding them into his mouth. She hovered back, uncertain how to approach.

“Just walk up to him from the front,” Gavin said. “Pet him if you want. He’s very tame.”

She started toward Lou in measured steps. “He doesn’t have a collar.” Do people collar their elephants? Keep current on shots and stuff?

Gavin chuckled. “He stays on the property. It’s all right.”

“Is he yours?”

“Well, he’s sort of a communal elephant. Ethan, Mark and I adopted him when he was a baby. He wandered onto our beach somehow, but nobody could figure out where he’d come from, so we thought why not?” Gavin pointed at the green banana bunches on the trees. “Workers cut them down every other morning.”

“But they aren’t ripe.”

“Lou’s a smart guy. He waits until they’re soft and sweet.”

Amandine was finally close enough to touch Lou. He towered over her, his massive gray body as solid as the banana trees around them. His head was enormous. Unlike what she’d assumed, the top of his skull wasn’t bald. Several strands of short and wiry hair stood up straight from his head. His long-lashed eyes shone with curiosity and intelligence as he studied her.

“Hey, big fella.” She put a hand out, palm up, but the elephant didn’t react. Well. What was she thinking, treating Lou like a dog? She doubted he was interested in sniffing her.

Gavin picked up a few lone bananas from the ground and handed them to her. “Feed him. He’ll love you forever.”

She offered one of the ripe fruits to the elephant. The trunk came questing for it, snuffling. He took the banana from her and munched on it.

“Where does he get water?” she asked.

“There’s a manmade freshwater lake about a mile from here.”

“Just for him?”

“Yup. We keep it brimming with water all the time, and a vet comes by every so often to check up on him. As far as I know, he’s doing very well.”

“Good for him.”

Lou reached and stole the bananas from her other hand before she could offer them.

“Oh my gosh!” She put a fist over her heart, which was suddenly racing with surprise and thrill.

Gavin patted the young elephant. His face peaceful, his lips curved slightly as he ran his hands along Lou’s somber face and massive shoulder.

This was a Gavin that Amandine had never seen before. His entire demeanor was relaxed, not a trace of tension in him. He looked serene…happy. He hadn’t been like this even at their wedding. He’d been tense until she’d said, “I do.”

I want to be the one to make him happy. Make him smile like he has nothing to worry about.

Amandine sucked in a breath at the sudden thought. Where had that come from?

Gavin turned. “What?”

“Noth—” She swallowed the answer. It wasn’t nothing, but she didn’t know if it was something she could share. So instead she said something else she’d been mulling over since her conversation with Victoria. “Well. I’ve been thinking…”

“Yes?”

Come on. Just say it. “I want to go to college.”

His face slackened. A frown wrinkled his forehead. “You do?”

Her stomach twisted. “What? You don’t think I should do it?”

“It’s not that. I thought you weren’t interested.”

“I never had a chance to go. My family couldn’t afford to send two kids to college.” It had made more sense for Pete to go. He was the smart one.

Gavin didn’t hesitate. “If that’s the case, I’m all for it. I’ll have Hilary hire a consultant.”

“A consultant…?”

“To help you get into the best college possible. If we consider the location, UCLA is the most convenient, but I don’t want to limit your options. Stanford is definitely doable… I can buy a penthouse in Palo Alto and work out of there while you go to school.”

Her mind reeled. “Stanford?”

“Uh-huh.” He frowned. “Why? You don’t want to go there?”

“I—”

He scratched the tip of his nose. “I suppose we could go to the east coast if you have your sights set on an Ivy League school.”

Oh my god. An Ivy League school? Was Gavin insane? She raised a hand. “Just…hold on.” She gathered her thoughts. “First, I don’t know if I can even get into UCLA. So there’s no point aiming for Stanford or the Ivy League.”

“What? That’s ridiculous.”

“Second, I don’t want you to run interference and try to get me into a school I don’t qualify for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know you can get me in under, well, non-academic criteria. I don’t want to get accepted because I’m your wife or you’ve always been a generous donor or because you’re the school president’s BFF. If I can’t get in on my own merit, so be it.”

“I’m surprised you think I’d do that,” he said with a small frown.

Oh dear. She’d annoyed him. “Sorry.”

“Forget it.” He sighed. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. Some place I have a shot at, I guess.”

“And that means places like Stanford are out, is that it?”

She nodded.

“You’re selling yourself short, you know that? You’re smart enough to get into any school you want. The consultant I’m planning to hire will help you.”

“But that wouldn’t be on my own merit.”

“Simply leveling the playing field. You think people get into top schools without help? They take SAT prep courses, get coaching on how to present themselves…”

“Pete didn’t.”

Gavin’s mouth tightened. “Pete’s unusually gifted and driven. You know my firm hires the best of the best.”


She nodded.

“Pete is probably the best out of them all. I thought I worked hard, but he’s a freak.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“A beast,” Gavin added, emphasizing the point. “Most people can’t do it. So don’t compare yourself to your brother. You’re plenty smart enough to get into college.”

Her lips parted. She’d always known Pete was smart, but she hadn’t realized Gavin thought so as well. Gavin had studied econometrics at the University of Chicago, which she understood to be quite a feat.

Amandine had once asked exactly what that was at a Lloyd family gathering, and his younger sister Meredith had responded, “It’s something a lot of ambitious, money-hungry people try to study because it can help them get high-paying jobs. Sadly, the University of Chicago has a particularly evil department dedicated to making their lives utter hell. Once the students realize the blood price they’ll have to pay, they contemplate the choice between hanging themselves or becoming lawyers.”

“Which one was Gavin?”

“He turned out to be a natural at it. Which makes him unnatural.”

Then there was Pete as a hard worker. Amandine had always known her brother worked a lot, even surprising her from time to time, but to impress her workaholic husband…that was surreal.

Then again, not any more surreal than standing in a Thai jungle, feeding bananas to a half-wild elephant and talking about the future of my education.

“If you want, we can begin going over your options and go from there.” Gavin’s voice was calm and logical, an anchor. “So you can start school after the baby’s born.”

She stopped. In her enthusiasm, she hadn’t thought things through enough. “But… What if things don’t work out?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Maybe I should go for a local community college. It’s probably more affordable.”

He studied her as he would a chart. “You’re going to go to the college you want to go to. The cost is irrelevant.”

“Gavin—”

“I don’t ever want you to give up something because you can’t afford it. So what if you go to some overpriced private college? If that’s what you want, that’s where you should go. I’ll make sure of it. End of story.” He patted Lou’s shoulder again, then turned away from her. “We should let Lou be. He probably wants to finish eating in peace.” He started toward the car.

His shoulders rode slightly higher than usual, and his stride was quick as he went to the car. Amandine sighed, furious with herself for ruining the good mood and connection they’d established.

Don’t let this destroy the rest of the day. You can salvage it. Gavin’s not the type to hold a grudge. Give him time to decompress, then apologize and you’ll be all right.

But every word she said seemed to undermine their relationship and slice him, despite her best intentions. And she didn’t know how they could make their marriage work if they couldn’t talk about something as inoffensive as college without hurting each other.