“Here.” He hands me a beer without looking at me.
“Thanks.” I accept the only apology C.J. is capable of before breaking the awkward silence. “I’ve gotta ask, is it the Dave Matthews Band kind of ‘Rapunzel’ or “and they lived happily ever after” kind?’” I figure it’s worth a shot to decode his nickname for me.
C.J. spits some of his beer in laughter, but before he can answer, Josh returns sans Monica.
“You two OK?” Josh paces toward us slowly.
“Are you? You kinda freaked out there.” I stand and hand Josh my half-full pint, he accepts with a smile and swallows the rest.
“All right guys, let’s get on stage.” C.J. leads us out front without further discussion.
As we start our set, I can’t miss my parents waving wildly from a table directly in the middle of Finnegan’s. I also can’t miss that Adrian and Monica are sitting with them. Monica seems to be spending more time watching Adrian than our set. I’m sure she senses something’s up between us, but since I barely know what that is I’m not going to offer anything.
When we finish our 80’s mild-rock set, C.J. leaves Josh and me on stage alone, where we ready ourselves to start our “folksy shit.”
“What do you want to start with?” Josh asks, as we readjust our mics. “We kind of practiced a lot of heartbreak-y stuff ...”
“Well, I’m kind of in a heartbreak-y place. Just pick something. We’ll nail it.” Josh’s concern makes me smile, but it’s a tad annoying. “I’m not a damsel in distress, Josh. Just play.”
He shrugs and starts strumming.
Shit, me and my big mouth.
Mushy heartbreak songs are the easiest to learn in a short amount of time, and quite frankly, they’re the most popular among this bar crowd. I have a brief flash of panic when he intros Sheryl Crow’s “Strong Enough,” but I take a breath, smile, and roll my eyes at Monica.
Actually, I really don’t feel like hell tonight, as the song might suggest. It’s amazing what a small amount of time and a large amount of space can do to bury things that need burying. Swaying with the melody, I smile through the lyrics...until we get to the chorus, which talks about believing lies in the name of love.
No shit ...
I realize this is the first time I’ve performed here since the night Bo worked my lullaby. I never told my parents about that night; and I don’t think I can now. I almost lose track of the lyrics when all the feelings I had that night start to simmer in my gut. I kissed him on stage, I cried on stage. I did things that were miles outside of my comfort zone because I thought I was in love.
Just two nights after that I was sitting, battered, in the hotel room of my ex-boyfriend trying to sort out a two-week lie. My insides scream with anger and talk of revenge, but I’m better than that. Guess he wasn’t strong enough to be my man after all.
A few songs later we end our set and head off stage. I meet my four fans at their table.
“November Blue that was outstanding!” Raven is nearly bursting out of her Zen shell as she squeezes the life out of me.
“Thanks.” I pull myself away and hug Ashby.
“Gorgeous, Baby Girl, I knew you had it in you.” They’ve never heard me sing in public before. This must have been heaven for them.
“Listen, hun, it’s getting late and we hate to dash out of here, but our flight to San Diego actually leaves in a few hours. We’ve got to get to the airport.” Raven puts her arm around me one more time.
“What are you heading to San Diego for?” Adrian asks.
My parents eye me with ancient understanding. We’ve been over this. No one, except Bo, knows about their band. I’d like to keep it that way for a while.
“Getting together with friends we haven’t seen in ages. Adrian and Monica, it was lovely catching up with you two. Take care of our girl.” Raven hugs them both before leading my dad out of the bar by his hand.
“We will!” Monica calls after them with a hint of sarcasm before turning to Adrian. “So, Adrian, how long are you in town?”
“Heading home now. Em, I’m glad I got to see you sing again. Beautiful. Shoot me a message next week.” He gives me a quick hug, says goodbye to Monica and the guys, and heads out of Finnegan’s.
Adrian is the epitome of cool; someone passing by might actually believe I’ll wait till next week to “shoot him a message.” He knows by Monica’s tone that she’s suspicious but doesn’t know anything. I feel a little rejected by our staged goodbye, but I realize it was necessary.
“That was nice of him to come watch you.” Monica’s sarcastic smile loses the game of hide-and-seek with her face.
“Yeah, it was. I’ll be right back—I left something in my car. Can you order me a drink?”
She nods and heads to the bar while I move to the parking lot. Once outside, I check over my shoulder and see Monica engrossed with Josh’s lips over the bar.
Scanning the parking lot, I spot Adrian just as he turns on his headlights. He leaves his car running, but gets out as I wave my hands and run to his car.