Raid

chapter Six

Last Chance



The drive home was silent. The whole time I looked out the side window.

That wasn’t strictly true.

The drive home was silent, except once we were in the Jeep on our way home, Raiden asked, “This happen often, headaches comin’ on this fast?”

“Yes,” I lied.

Raiden left it at that.

I spent my energies holding myself together.

This took a lot of my energies.

Therefore, by the time we got to my house, I was exhausted.

Raiden parked, and as he was shutting the Jeep down, I swiftly unbuckled my seatbelt, threw open the door and climbed out as gracefully as I could.

I was hoofing it double time to the front door when my efforts were foiled by Raiden’s hand closing around mine.

He slowed my dash and dug into his jeans pocket, got out my keys, stopped us at the door and let us in.

I took two wide steps inside, unfortunately dragging him with me. I tugged my hand free of his and turned on him, hand up.

“Thanks for letting us in. I’ll take those now.”

I avoided his eyes as he deposited my keys in my hand, my fingers closing around them instantly, and my hand dropped.

“Hanna, you gonna be okay?”

I looked up at him.

Raiden Miller in my foyer.

A dream come true then turning straight into a nightmare.

“I’ll take some ibuprofen and I’ll be fine,” I lied.

I wouldn’t be fine. Not for ever and ever.

“Can you hang on a second?” I went on to ask. “Before you go, I want to give you something.”

“Sure, honey,” he replied gently.

Raiden Miller calling me honey.

Gently.

Total nightmare.

I looked to my feet, tucked my hair behind my ear and hurried to the stairs. “I’ll just be a sec.”

I rushed up the stairs on the toes of my sandals.

I’d had the idea on the way home. It didn’t make sense at all, but the instant I had it I knew I had to do it. And I never knew I had to do anything the instant I had the idea, so I decided I was going to go with it.

I ran to my bedroom door and tossed my clutch and the keys across the room to the bed. Then I dashed to the spare bedroom where I kept my finished afghans and found the one I was looking for. A fluffy, black, loose weave cashmere already tied in a wide, dove gray satin ribbon with my signature tag on it. Heavy cream cardstock, and on it, in black, handwritten in the calligraphy I taught myself from a book after painstaking hours of copying, Made special… by Hanna.

I hastened down the hall, slowed my step at the stairs and again avoided looking at Raiden while I descended.

But I walked right up to him and held out the throw.

“I want you to have this.”

“Jesus, baby,” he murmured, his voice deeper than normal, and I looked up at him.

He was staring down at the afghan, his face strange.

He looked stunned, moved, pleased.

Really.

He was an amazing actor.

His eyes came to mine. “I can’t take this.”

I jerked it toward him. “Take it.”

He lifted a hand then dropped it and held my eyes. “It looks like a five hundred dollar one.”

“It’s a seven hundred and fifty dollar one.”

He did a slow blink. “Come again?”

“Cashmere,” I explained then jerked it at him again. “Please take it.”

“Hanna—”

“Take it.”

“Honey—”

“Please,” I whispered, my voice suddenly husky, “take it.”

He studied me closely as he took it then abruptly his head jerked down, and, as if he didn’t know his mouth was saying the words, he stated, “F*ck me, it feels like heaven.”

“Cashmere,” I repeated and his eyes came back to mine. “I had a nice night,” I continued, moving directly to the door, opening it then standing wide so he had plenty of room to get through. “Thank you.”

He looked at my feet then out the open door then at me.

He hesitated what seemed like days before he walked to me and stopped close. Too close. I had to tip my head way back (even in four inch heels!) and he had to dip his chin way down.

“Outside the headache, you okay?” he asked low.

“Outside the headache, peachy,” I lied and quickly concluded. “Thanks again for a nice night.”

Raiden didn’t move.

My heart kept breaking.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he told me.

Right.

“Okay,” I replied, though I didn’t know how he’d do that since he didn’t have my number. He also wouldn’t be able to do that because I was no way, no how picking up any call from an unknown number. And last, he simply wasn’t going to do that because he was totally lying.

“We’ll go to a movie,” he stated.

“Great. I like movies.” At least that wasn’t a lie.

He moved into me.

I moved back.

He stopped, his brows snapping together. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I should never drink red wine,” I shared.

Another lie. I loved red wine and it loved me, though in abundance it could make me maudlin, but I was three whole glasses away from maudlin.

Something else was making me maudlin.

“It always does a number on me,” I kept lying when Raiden didn’t move or speak. “But I just can’t seem to eat a steak without it.”

“Next time, beer,” he said.

Like there’d be a next time.

Raiden still didn’t move.

I didn’t either.

This lasted some time.

God! He wanted to “end this”? Why didn’t he end it?

“I should probably get some ibuprofen,” I told him on a prompt for him to leave.

“Doesn’t feel good, leavin’ you alone and feelin’ like shit,” he replied, and seriously, seriously, what was it with him?

He could just go.

Why didn’t he just go?

“I’ll be fine.” More lying.

“All right, baby,” he murmured.

I closed my eyes.

Baby.

“Hanna?”

I opened them. “Goodnight.”

He held my eyes and his were searching. Then he lifted a hand and tucked my hair behind my ear.

I felt his sweet touch in my scalp, down my spine and the tingles it caused exploded along the small of my back.

And there he was, Raiden Ulysses Miller, in my foyer, tucking my hair behind my ear, faking concern about my fake headache and faking that he was into me.

He wanted to fake it?

Fine.

He could fake it.

I’d give him a doozy of a chance to fake it.

And at the same time, I was going to take my shot, my last chance, the only one I’d ever have.

And I was going to go for the gusto.

I lifted my hand, wrapped my fingers around his bicep, leaned in and went up on my toes.

I pressed my lips to his.

They felt great.

So great, I couldn’t take more. That was all I was could do. That took all the courage I had left. I didn’t want to know how good it could be and never have it again, even if it was fake.

So that was it.

But Raiden…

He was good at faking.

The master.

I knew this when his arm instantly sliced along my lower back. He hauled me into his hard body and his mouth opened over mine. Mine automatically opened under his and his tongue slid inside.

His tongue felt better, tasted divine, and I pressed into him, tangling mine with his.

My last chance.

He was giving it to me.

Suddenly, I didn’t care if it was fake.

Suddenly, I didn’t care if I’d never have it again.

I had it now.

I was going for it.

I tilted my head and offered him everything.

He slanted his. I heard the soft “flunf” of the afghan falling to the floor and his free hand drove into my hair, fisting. I felt pain that should have felt bad but felt oh-so-good spike across my scalp and I pressed deeper into him, giving more.

He took it.

My hands slid up his arms, his shoulders and finally, finally, I had his hair sliding through my fingers.

It was thick.

It was silky.

It was perfect.

He shuffled me back. I hit the door, the door hit the wall and he pressed in.

I pressed up, held on and kept giving.

Raiden kept taking.

It was the best kiss of my life.

It could have been the best kiss in history.

It took superhuman effort to remember it wasn’t real. To tear my mouth from his, wrench myself out of his arms and step out of reach.

Lost momentarily, I lifted my hand to touch my mouth, my breathing heavy. Then I lifted my eyes to see his head turned toward me, his eyes on me burning in a way that made me burn, everywhere.

Really, a great actor.

Tactical error, taking my last chance.

Now I had to get this done.

I rounded him, crouched where he dropped the afghan, picked it up and moved to stand at the other side of the door, holding it out to him.

“Drive safe home,” I said and he stared at me.

“Come again?” he whispered and there was something sinister in that whisper that scared the heck out of me.

But I ignored my fear, jiggled the afghan at him and repeated, “Drive safe home.”

He approached me and I felt my body stiffen from head-to-toe.

Raiden didn’t miss it. I knew it when his frame jerked to a wooden halt and his eyes bored into mine.

“Talk to me,” he ordered, his voice now low and rumbling, but also strangely rough and commanding.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow when you call. Now I really need to get some medication and lie down.”

He lifted a hand and curled it around the side of my neck, dipping his face close to mine.

“Now isn’t the time to start playing games, Hanna,” he warned quietly.

Was he serious?

He was saying that to me?

I looked him straight in the eye and declared, “No games, Raiden. It’s just a headache.” More like heartache. “With me, you get what you see, that’s it. No mystery. No nothing. Just me.”

“You aren’t you,” he told me.

“You don’t know me,” I returned.

Raiden went silent, but he didn’t move away.

Then he murmured, “Fair enough.”

Thank God.

He slid his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me close as his head lifted up and he spoke, “You kiss like that when you got a headache, honey,” he touched his lips to my forehead and they moved there as he finished, “lookin’ forward to havin’ your mouth when you don’t.”

Liar.

Liar.

Liar.

I decided not to respond.

I also decided not to allow myself to think about how wonderful it felt to have Raiden Miller kiss my forehead.

His hand slid to my jaw and his chin tipped so he could catch my eyes.

“‘Night, Hanna,” he said softly.

“Good-bye, Raiden,” I replied.

His eyes flashed at my words, but his face moved in. He touched his lips to mine, moved back, took the afghan from me and sauntered out the door.

Keeping up appearances, I stood in it, and when he swung in his Jeep I waved.

Raiden did not wave back.

Then I closed the door and locked it. I switched the outside lights off and turned off the lights that I’d left on in the foyer. That done, I dashed up the stairs as best I could because I was also tugging at the buckles and straps of my sandals to get them off while I went.

I hit the bedroom, tossed my shoes on the bed and turned on the lamp on my nightstand.

Only then did I hear the Jeep pull away.

He waited until I’d made it upstairs and he knew I was settling, getting ready for bed before he drove away.

That was sweet.

God, I wished he was real.

I dashed back down the stairs and grabbed the phone in the hall. I ran through the dining room into the kitchen, snapped on the light and found the phonebook.

I flipped through it and found the number for the Sherriff’s Police.

Then I called it.