Raid

chapter Five

Clueless



The next evening…

The doorbell rang.

I was in my bathroom upstairs, staring at myself in the mirror, but I’d been ready for twenty minutes.

Now I was hyperventilating.

I drew in deep breaths, turned toward the door and hit the light. I forced my mind to go over my appearance, which at that point I had memorized.

KC and I had gone into Denver so I could get a new outfit. A blue jersey dress that was great with my eyes, showed just enough but not too much cleavage and clung at all the right places. It was a miracle dress that gave me a miracle body, and as such cost a miraculous price that I charged.

I also bought a pair of strappy, high spike-heeled sandals that were to die for. They were made up of blue snakeskin straps interspersed with green snakeskin straps and they made my feet—and my brand new pedicure (with a design on my big toenails that included a little crystal; this was Raiden Ulysses Miller, I was going for the gusto)—look fabulous.

They also cost a mint.

I charged them, too, and I didn’t care.

It all had to be right. Perfect.

And it was.

KC convinced me to wear my hair down, and I did my face with an edge toward drama. But not too much, because I didn’t want to go over the top and overshadow the dress and shoes, both of which packed a punch.

So after a busy day of shopping, pedicure and manicure then nervously getting ready, the time had come.

It was six thirty-three.

Raiden was here.

I turned out the light by my bed. I grabbed my clutch and walked out of the room, down the stairs and to the door. I pulled in another deep breath then opened the door.

Raiden stood there in all his glory. It was more glorious seeing as he wasn’t wearing cargo pants and a skintight tee (which were always awesome), but a nice, dark pair of jeans, a deep green shirt with a subtle pattern in it that looked good with his skin, hair and eyes, and a black belt and black boots (which were awesomer).

Delicious.

“Hey,” I greeted and it came out breathy.

He didn’t reply.

His eyes were moving down and they were taking their time. After they hit my shoes, they stayed there awhile. Then, just as slowly, they came back up.

They hit mine and the look in them made my heart, already beating like a jackhammer, go into overdrive.

“Hey,” he rumbled.

I’d practiced this while doing my makeup (and hair) so I was able to take a slight step back, motion inside with my hand and ask, “Do we have time for you to come in for a drink?”

“You don’t want me comin’ in for a drink,” was his reply, and I felt my brows draw together.

“I don’t?”

“You, that dress, those shoes, that hair, beverages and furniture you can get horizontal on would not be a good combination.”

“Oh,” I whispered, and with his words it hit me like a shot that he was into me.

The date kind of said that, but his words stated clearly he wasn’t just into me.

Raiden Ulysses Miller was into me.

I felt that warmth settle in, digging deep, as he kept talking.

“Not to mention, we got a reservation and I’m hungry.” He leaned in and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go.”

He drew me out onto the porch, and I had just enough presence of mind to grab the door handle and pull it to as he did. I started across the porch, but stopped when his hand tightened in mine.

I turned back.

“You gonna lock it?” he asked.

I stared at him, moved my stare to the door then brought it back to him.

“Sorry?”

He shifted closer and my breath went faster. “You gonna lock the door?”

“Um… I never lock the door.”

It was Raiden’s turn to stare at me.

Then his hand gave mine a squeeze and he ordered, “Get your keys.”

“My keys?”

“Your keys,” he stated firmly.

He was hungry, and I had a feeling this discussion could go all night (with me losing), so I nodded, hustled to the door, went through and scurried to the kitchen. Since I never locked up (seeing as I didn’t have to; neither did Mom and Dad, we lived in the boonies for goodness sakes—unless they knew we were out there, no one came around) it took some doing, but I found a set of house keys and hurried back, walked through the door, closed and locked it.

I turned to him. “Ready.”

“While you were in there, you lock the back?” he asked.

I blinked.

He grinned.

I blinked again.

He leaned into me, tugged the keys from of my fingers and unlocked the door. He opened it, sauntered through and disappeared, then came back, locked the door, pocketed the keys and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go,” he murmured.

We went, Raiden holding my hand as we walked across the porch and down the steps. Then he let me go, but only to swing his arm around my shoulders and pull me into his side as we moved to his Jeep.

Nice.

Nicer still, he walked me to the passenger side and opened the door for me.

Three boyfriends; not one opened any door for me.

Already phenomenal, Raiden Miller just kept getting better.

His hand cupped my elbow as I climbed in then he closed the door.

Definitely kept getting better.

I was buckled up when he swung in the other side. He started up, reversed at an angle and we took off.

“Talk to your grandmother today?” he asked, and I turned to him.

Holy Moses.

I was sitting next to Raiden in his Jeep.

I couldn’t believe it.

Beautiful. Him. The moment. Everything.

I didn’t have time to let that settle as deep as I wanted. I had to respond or he’d think I was a freak, staring at him silently but reverently.

“Yeah, I talk to her every day,” I answered.

“How’s she doin’?” he asked.

“Busy, seeing as she’s been calling everyone in town and half of her family in Louisiana to tell them she has a new yard boy.”

I watched him smile.

Yes.

Beautiful.

“Took half a year for her to open the door when I rang yesterday, another half followin’ her as she walked from the front to the back, slow as molasses. But the woman’s fingers work just fine,” Raiden said. “Had four people stop me today to say they thought it was cool I was seein’ to Miss Mildred’s yard.”

“She’s generous,” I shared. “Something exciting happens, she passes that love around.”

I watched his smile get bigger. Being there with him in his Jeep, going to dinner, knowing he thought I was cute and he was into me, living a dream I never thought I’d have, my nerves smoothed out and I looked forward.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Chilton’s,” Raiden answered.

My nerves came back.

Even though Chilton’s opened a town over ten years ago, I’d only been there once, the year before when my brother came from San Diego for a visit and brought his new fiancée with him.

The menu was a la carte. The cheapest steak was fifty dollars.

I didn’t know what Raiden did for a living, but I did know that even with twenty new boutiques I was shipping my afghans to, Chilton’s once every ten years was about as much as many people could afford. Including me.

So I wondered what he did for a living, and therefore wondered if he could afford Chilton’s. I also wondered what I should order since there was no way I was ordering a la carte, building on the foundation of a fifty dollar steak if I didn’t know how deep that would cut into his wallet.

“Mood in the Jeep suddenly veered south,” he remarked.

I looked at him. “Sorry?”

“You don’t seem fired up about Chilton’s,” he noted.

“Um, I am, of course. I’ve been there once before. It’s really nice but it’s…” What did I say? “Not exactly cheap.”

“You bought me a sexy dress, least I can do.”

I stared, my mouth dropping open.

Then I snapped it shut to ask, “How did you know this is a new dress?”

He glanced at me, back at the road, then his lips turned up. “Didn’t. Guessed. Now I do.”

I was totally an idiot.

I proved this more when I looked forward again, mumbling stupidly (but he probably figured it out already), “I also bought new shoes.”

My entire body went hot when he briefly touched the skin below my skirt at my knee and rumbled, “Appreciated, honey.”

Okay, maybe I wasn’t an idiot, and at that moment I knew without a doubt that regardless of how expensive they were the dress and shoes were worth every penny.

“Don’t worry about dinner,” he stated.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Order what you want,” he went on.

“Righty ho.”

Raiden chuckled.

At the rumbling, masculine sound, the area between my legs got wet.

We lapsed into silence, which was both uncomfortable and oddly a relief, seeing as I would have been more uncomfortable if I had further opportunities to make a fool of myself.

We hit Chilton’s and the valet helped me out of the car. Raiden rounded the Jeep, gave the valet his keys and then claimed me by grabbing my hand

Holding hands, I walked into Chilton’s with Raiden Miller.

The date was twenty minutes old, if that, and it already had crazily veering ups and downs for me emotionally, but we hit an extreme up when we walked into Chilton’s.

Or, for me, it was walking into Chilton’s hand in hand with Raiden Miller.

The place, no matter how expensive, was packed. I saw two people I knew at whom I smiled.

But best of all, they saw me. They saw me hand in hand with Raiden.

My other three boyfriends, obviously, I’d liked. I thought they were attractive. I enjoyed spending time with them.

But never was I overwhelmingly proud to be at their side anywhere like I was right then with Raiden.

We were seated at a two top with Raiden at my side rather than across from me. We also ordered drinks, got them and ordered our meals, all this without incident.

So my nerves were again smoothing out as I took a sip of red wine and felt Raiden’s eyes on me.

I looked at him and the instant my eyes hit his, he asked, “You know my name?”

That was such a strange question, I felt my head give a slight jerk and I asked back, “Do I know your name?”

“Yeah, honey. Been around you now a few times, you’ve not once said my name.”

“You’re Raiden Miller, Rachelle’s big brother,” I told him and, for some bizarre reason, that made him burst out laughing.

It was gorgeous, lush. It warmed me through and through, and I smiled while he did it, but I didn’t understand it.

When it started waning, I said, “I don’t get it. Why are you laughing?”

He trained his amazing eyes on me. “Rache would love that. She’s always been Raiden’s little sister.”

My smile died and I leaned toward him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be offensive.”

He leaned toward me. “Me laughin’, baby, how could you mistake that for me takin’ offense?”

Again, I was an idiot.

“I can sometimes be an idiot,” I offered as an understatement.

“Don’t know about an idiot. Do know you can more than sometimes be all kinds of cute.”

I bit my lip.

I liked that.

His eyes dropped to my mouth and he rumbled, “Like now.”

I liked that, too.

I let my lip go.

“Girls prefer to be sexy and hot and, maybe, mysterious,” I informed him, and his eyes came back to mine.

“You got the first two down, Hanna. And I don’t know about other men, but I’ve played games, and in the end found out what I won wasn’t worth the trouble of winning. Prefer to be with a woman who’s cute and shy and obviously into me. Means I can save time and get straight to shit that matters.”

What he said was nice, way nice, especially the first part, but still, I felt heat hit my face. My head jerked down and I adjusted my napkin in my lap, murmuring, “This is kind of embarrassing.”

“What?” he asked, and I forced myself to look at him.

“You knowing I’m into you. That’s embarrassing. I suppose it’s obvious, but it’s still embarrassing.”

He reached toward my hand, engulfed it in his big one and brought them up to rest our clasped hands on the table.

“Honey, get me,” he said gently, his eyes moving over my face, my hair, my chest then back to mine when he finished, “I wouldn’t have said it if I thought you’d be embarrassed about it, but bottom line, you got not one thing to be embarrassed about.”

I hoped he was right.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Afghans,” he stated and I blinked.

“Sorry?”

“Those things were gorgeous, I did not lie, but Hanna, how the f*ck do you make a living outta knittin’ afghans?”

He was changing the subject.

That was nice.

Yes, he got better and better.

“I sell in two hundred and twenty-three shops all over the US and export to some boutiques in Canada.”

His brows went up before he asked, “No shit?”

I shook my head.

“F*cking hell,” he muttered.

I nodded my head and continued.

“It was less, but earlier this year I stepped things up. Now I have a girl. I think you might know her, Heather. She helps me out, packs them for shipping. I used to do it, but with the new shops I need more time to make them, so she does it for me. I have a kind of warehouse slash kitchen over the gift shop in town. My inventory is there, she does the packing there, and when fruit is in season I make my preserves there. She hasn’t been with me very long, but she says she’s going to help with the preserves when I do them. They’re kind of…” I struggled for a word that wouldn’t make me sound like I was bragging and settled on, “exclusive. I only do them when fruit is in season so they aren’t on the shelves all the time. It ratchets up the prices and they don’t stay in stock for long seeing as most people buy them in bulk so they have them all year.”

His face got a strange funny look when I mentioned Heather, but he quickly rearranged it. He sat back while I kept talking, but did it continuing to hold my hand.

“Impressive,” he remarked when I went quiet.

“It’s preserves and blankets,” I replied.

“You live in a cute house, drive a sweet ride, ride a cute bike and wear great clothes. You do all that outta preserves and blankets, over two hundred shops in two countries. Honey, that’s impressive.”

“Okay,” I decided to agree, and he grinned at me.

The waiter came with bread. Raiden unfortunately let my hand go and reached for the basket.

He offered it to me (totally getting better and better, I mean, hot, cool and a gentleman!).

I took a roll as he asked, “Why did you step things up?”

I shrugged, broke my roll to butter it, and explained evasively (because I certainly wasn’t going to tell him the real reason), “I don’t know. Just one day it hit me. My life was kind of narrow. I enjoyed it, but I wanted more.” I spread butter on my bread and looked at him. “To get more, go on vacation, learn to snowboard, you need money. I was doing okay, but I needed to do better. So I worked harder.” I tipped my head to the side. “Now I do better.”

“So your girl, she does all your shipping for you?”

I nodded. “I haven’t been to my place in town in, gosh, I don’t know. Weeks now, at least. She even comes out to the house to pick up the afghans I’ve done and takes them into town. She’s a huge help. Especially with more orders, helping out Grams and all.”

I took a bite of my buttered roll.

Delicious.

I chewed, swallowed and watched Raiden take a sip from his beer. I liked how his throat worked when he did that, so I decided more conversation was in order so I didn’t obsess about how beautiful his throat was, or more accurately what that throat might taste like.

I just didn’t know what conversation to make.

I wanted to ask what he did for a living, but I was too nervous. It seemed pushy and intrusive, regardless of the fact he asked about my business. I just felt that for a man, and a man like him especially, it was something he needed to share in his way at his time.

I also wanted to ask about something else that had been kind of bugging me since he mentioned it. I didn’t think it was a safer topic, but I did think it was the safer of the two.

Still, I went in cautiously.

“Can I ask you something?”

He put his beer down and trained his eyes to me. “Yeah.”

I put my roll on my bread plate and looked at him. “I’m guessing you know Heather and Bodhi since you mentioned them.”

“Small town and two characters like that don’t go unnoticed,” he replied.

I nodded, thinking his statement was a little weird of the not-good variety, but I pushed myself to keep going.

“If I’m not wrong, you were referring to them when you called them potheads.”

“You’re not wrong because they are potheads,” Raiden responded.

They were.

Still.

“That’s kind of, uh…” I cast my mind for a word, couldn’t find one so I went for it, “mean.”

He leaned into me and wrapped his hand around mine that was sitting on the table.

“Pot is legal in Colorado,” he stated and I tilted my head.

“It is?”

He stared at me a second then grinned. “Yeah, baby, it is.”

God, I liked it when he called me baby.

“Don’t you vote?” he asked.

“Well, yeah,” I answered.

“Straight ticket?” he guessed.

“Well, no,” I told him. “But all the referendums freak me out. I used to try to understand them, then one year I voted for one and found out after that I voted the wrong way because they made the language purposefully confusing so you thought you were voting for one thing and you weren’t. I went back and read and reread it and there was no way I knew what I was voting for. That’s dirty business, so I decided that I should vote only on things I totally understood instead of making another mistake like that because, well, you know, these things affect people’s lives and you shouldn’t screw up something that important. As none of the referendums make a lick of sense to me, I concentrate on the candidates and hope they’ll take care of the referendums.”

“Makes sense. Whacked sense but it makes it,” he murmured.

“What does pot being legal have to do with Bodhi and Heather?” I asked, though I had to admit, this was good news and nice to know why the Sherriff didn’t get into Bodhi’s business.

“I voted against legalizing pot,” Raiden declared, and I got it.

“Oh,” I replied.

“I’m good with live and let live, but shit like that bleeds into bigger shit, and no one needs that.”

“I don’t smoke it, but I know both Bodhi and Heather and they’re really nice people. And I’m not sure something like that bleeds. It’s a personal choice and it isn’t like crystal meth or stuff like that that destroys lives.”

“It is when it bleeds,” he returned.

His eyes were now weirdly sharp, so much so it was uncomfortable, and I squirmed in my chair.

“Okay,” I gave in. “I’m guessing you know more about this than I do.”

“Unfortunately, I do,” Raiden replied.

I bit my lip again, intrigued if a little frightened.

I carefully tugged my hand from his and looked to the corner of the table.

“Hanna,” he called and I turned my gaze to him.

“Bodhi and Heather are my friends,” I told him.

“I know,” he replied.

“Well, I, uh… spend time with them.”

“I know.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“Saw you with the guy. Wasn’t hard to read you were tight. And, again, small town. A couple of questions, links you to the girl too.”

Links me to the girl?

What a weird way to put it.

I shook that off and pressed on, “Well, this is a, um, date, and if this goes, uh… well, then…”

“This goes further, I will not hang with them,” he declared firmly, and I stared.

“You don’t like people that much who smoke pot?” I asked.

“Not that. Got friends who smoke. Don’t give a shit. Don’t like it, but it doesn’t say anything about them except they’re into something I’m not into. Just don’t got a good feeling about those two.”

“They’re kind and funny.”

He leaned toward me. “They give me a bad feeling, Hanna. They don’t give you that same feeling, cool. But this date goes well, we go further, I will not hang with them. Straight up. No bullshit. You’re into me, I’m into you, but that does not mean I gotta be into all your friends and the same goes for you.”

I had to admit, that was fair.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“And I’m not sayin’ that shit knowin’ how into me you are, layin’ down the law. I mean it. You connect with my people, you aren’t into them, same goes for you.”

That was nice.

“Okay,” I stated more resolutely, then asked (yes, stupidly), “How into you do you think I am?”

“Honey, you crawled around on all fours in a pet store, totally unable to cope with bein’ in my space. You’re seriously into me.”

This was true and this should have mortified me.

It didn’t.

For some reason, it annoyed me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s kind of annoying you figured that out, and more annoying you keep bringing it up.”

To this he threw his handsome head back, burst out laughing and held my hand tight for a second.

Then his hold loosened and he lifted our hands so our elbows were on the table, our hands up between us, but he again leaned into me.

This time super-close.

Which meant he was pressing my hand into his hard chest.

I held my breath.

“Open book,” he said quietly. “Like I said, it’s cute. It’s also refreshing, baby.”

“I’m glad you think so,” I whispered, no longer annoyed. With him that close and my hand pressed to his chest I was back to nervous.

“I do,” he confirmed.

Okay then, he thought it was cute and refreshing, so I felt it safe to give him more.

Therefore I did.

“Just so you know, I find you extremely attractive and I’d really like this date to go well because I’d like another one, and not as an excuse to buy another dress and killer pair of shoes.”

I did it, but felt no relief when something weird and a little alarming flashed in his eyes. His fingers squeezed mine before he hid that look, let my hand go and sat back.

“For a guy, that question is answered at the end of the date.”

Fabulous.

Something to be more nervous about.

He grinned at me.

I licked my lips.

His grin faded and his eyes dropped to my mouth.

I stopped breathing.

The waiter showed with our appetizers.

Thank God.

* * * * *

“Be back, yeah?” Raiden asked as the waiter swept away our dessert plates.

I nodded to him while he stood

When he was up, he reached out a hand and tucked my hair behind my ear. My scalp tingled, the tingle shooting straight down my spine, and I wished I could touch his hair or that he’d do that again (and again) while he walked away.

I watched him go while internally shivering through the remnants of the hair tuck maneuver.

Once he was out of sight, my mind turned to the date.

I wasn’t certain how it started, but once we were over the Bodhi and Heather thing and the how into him I was thing, Raiden steered conversation to safer subjects. People in town we both knew. How great Rachelle’s café was doing. Grams. How I did up my house.

I thought, in the end, it was going well.

Conversation was easy. It flowed. There were smiles, some laughs for him and for me, the food was delicious and I’d loosened up because of my company, not to mention three glasses of wine.

The one thing that was weird was that Raiden shared zilch about himself, outside talking a bit about his Mom and more about his sister, both of whom, when he spoke of them, it was clear he cared a lot about.

But he didn’t tell me about his house when I was talking about mine. He didn’t share about what he did for work. He didn’t talk about the time he was away. In fact, it was him that led the conversation and I followed its flow, sharing generously without getting but a hint of anything personal back.

It was on this thought I realized I had to use the restroom, and this thought led to the fact I should have told Raiden that before he left. I figured he’d know where I was when he got back and saw me gone. A bonus, it would save me having to give him that information and the nerve wracking moment of walking away while he was watching.

So I grabbed my bag, moved from the table and headed in the direction of the restroom.

I got to the ladies in the back hall and put my hand on the door, but stopped dead when I heard Raiden’s voice coming from around the corner that was at the end of the hall.

“She’s clueless,” he stated.

I stared at my hand at the door, my mind going blank.

“Totally,” Raiden went on. “Hanna has no idea those two a*sholes are transporting ice with her afghans.”

My breath clogged in my throat.

Ice?

As in methamphetamine?

“Yeah, it’s completely escaped her,” Raiden continued. “She thinks the girl is helpin’ her out. Hanna’s got no part in it. I end this with her tonight, we’ll meet, plan the takedown.”

I end this with her tonight.

Oh my God.

What?

How?

What?

“She trusts them. Whacked,” Raiden carried on. “Motherf*ckers are using her. Thinks they’re her friends. She’s got no f*ckin’ clue.”

I pushed the door and hurried inside. I somehow had the presence of mind to tiptoe in because the bathroom was tile, the hallway carpeted, muting my footfalls and he obviously didn’t know I was there.

The door swung closed behind me. I put my back to the wall beside it and deep-breathed.

Holy Moses, Bodhi and Heather were using my shipments to transport drugs.

Holy Moses! How would they even do that?

And why?

And…

And…

For some reason, Raiden was out with me to ascertain my part in this hideous scenario.

He wasn’t into me.

He was using me.

Like Bodhi and Heather.

My friends who I rode trails with, snowboarded with, laughed with.

Using me.

“Oh my God,” I breathed, pain searing through me, the heat white-hot, leaving devastation in its wake.

I wasn’t an idiot. I was…

I didn’t know what I was.

A moron.

A loser.

I shoved my bag under my arm so I could put my hands over my face and I pulled in huge, broken breaths to control the tears clawing at the backs of my eyes.

A new dress.

Excited laughter with my best friend.

Shoes that I’d have to knit five afghans to pay for.

And all because I was a moron.

Thoughts assaulting my brain, it took everything I had to pull myself together.

Raiden couldn’t know I knew. I had to pretend. I had to finish this stupid, stupid date.

Then I would end things tonight.

Then I would take care of business.

Then I would learn my stupid lesson.

A narrow life was better.

Books. Movies. Friends I’d had since junior high who I could trust. A great-grandmother who adored me. An ornery cat who liked me occasionally. A job I enjoyed that was free of the drug trade.

That was it.

The rest of it…

No.

I had no idea I’d been smart before. I had no idea I’d been living the right life.

I had no idea.

Now I did.

“Shit,” I whispered.

I rushed into a stall, took care of business then left the restroom carefully. Checking the back hall, which was empty, I stealthily moved out and saw Raiden at our table. I skirted the main area of the restaurant, walked outside and took in huge lung-fulls of crisp, mountain air, coming up with a plan while doing so.

The wine had gone to my head. I was a bit tipsy and more headachy.

I needed to go home.

I squared my shoulders and swallowed my tears. I turned to the front door, walked in and moved to the table, Raiden’s head coming up when he saw me, his brows snapping together at my direction.

God, he was gorgeous.

Amazing.

Phenomenal.

Using me.

“You okay?” he asked as I sat.

I drew in one more breath.

Then I turned to him. I took him in and felt my dream take its final, shuddering breath before it died…

And I lied.