- 25 -
Watched
Mary,
I've sent you, like, a million emails. Where are you? Did the you-know-what get to you too? Kinda freaking out over here. Call or email ASAP.
- Drew
Mary sighed and opened a blank email.
Drew,
Sorry. I'm fine. Some family stuff came up. I'll get in touch with you as soon as I can.
- Mary
Hopefully, that would keep him off her back for a little while longer.
Phos missed school the next couple of days. Mary had heard from the news that a comet was supposed to be making an annual flyby. Meteor showers were expected as the Earth passed through the comet's trail of debris, so that was probably keeping him busy.
Mary actually welcomed the Phos-less days. That day of Ba's latest episode, Mary had stayed at Agape all the way until bedtime. She saw Ba the next day and she was fine, but the episode still bothered Mary, and she didn't feel like seeing him again right away.
At lunchtime, Sienna came into the Art room. "So this is where you hide out."
Mary began peeling her orange. "Hi Sienna."
She sat down across from Mary. "Where's Carter?"
Mary shrugged. "He has stuff to do, I guess."
Sienna narrowed her eyes. "Are you okay? Is something going on with you two?"
Mary wrinkled her brow. "No. Why?"
"Well, you two seemed fine at the party. But now he isn't here, and you were pretty down in Art class," Sienna said.
"It's nothing," Mary said.
Sienna sighed. "Okay, remember that accountability thing you asked me about? You're not quite scary, but even a blind hamster can see that something's bothering you."
Mary looked at her. "I think you mean three blind mice."
"Whatever. The point is I'm worried about you," Sienna said. "I just wanna know if you need any help. And I promise I won't blab your business to anyone. Not even David. Scout's honor."
Mary said nothing for a moment. Then, she sighed. "It's sorta about Ph—Carter. But it's not his fault. It's mine." She told Sienna about the episode at Agape.
"Wow, I didn't know your grandma was in a nursing home," Sienna said.
"It's a retirement home," Mary clarified. She looked down at her peeled but uneaten orange. "I feel like I failed her. I thought if I saw her often, she would remember longer. The hardest part is when she doesn't remember me, except when I was little. What's it going to be like when she doesn't remember me at all?"
Sienna remained silent for a second. "So, what does this have to do with Carter?"
"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Mary asked. "I totally ditched my grandmother for him. I'm such a horrible person!"
"No you didn't, and no you're not," Sienna said. "Listen, I'm about to sound like the shallowest person on the face of the earth right now, but you can't control your grandma's disease. You don't make it any better or any worse. And you visit her a lot. I only see my grandma once a year, and that feels like too much. She always tells me I need to lose weight."
"Really?" Mary asked. Sienna had curves, but she was far from fat.
"Yeah. I don't know if it's a Brazilian thing, but she tells me it every year," Sienna said. "One day, your grandma isn't going to remember anything. Hopefully it's still a while a way, but it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it. So, there's no use feeling bad about something you can't control. You just have to enjoy how things are now."
Mary looked down. "Maybe you're right."
"No, I am right," Sienna said. "And it's not like you gotta choose between hanging with Carter and hanging with your grandma. You can do both."
Phos liked going with Mary to Agape and spending time with Ba. And Ba liked him.
"You're right," Mary said. "I guess I kinda got shook up. Thanks Sienna."
She smiled. "Any time. Well, I'm gonna find David before lunch is over. Later."
***
Phos wasn't back in school for the rest of the week. The news said that the Earth was past the comet trail, so Mary figured he wouldn't be busy with that anymore. She started to worry.
One night, while she was dozing on the roof, Mary woke with the touch of blazing lips on hers.
She smiled. "About time you showed up."
"My apologies," Phos said.
Mary sat up. "Where have you been? You missed a lot of school."
He looked down.
"Phos?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
He didn't answer right away. Finally, he met her eyes. "I'm being watched."
"Watched?" she asked.
He nodded.
Mary stared at him for a moment. Then she asked, "You mean by radiants? By others of your kind?"
He nodded again.
"Is that a bad thing?" she asked. "Mayim seemed pretty cool."
"These are not like Mayim," he said. "These are like judges. Their job is to keep order in the universe."
Mary still didn't see how this was bad.
Phos sighed. "Do you remember the boy at the hospital?"
She nodded. "The one you healed."
"Do you know that he doesn't remember you? Or me?" he asked.
She recalled Mom telling her about that not long after Scotty was released. "Yeah."
"That's because a judge came to him," he explained. "His memory of you and me was taken."
Mary stared at him.
"Humans aren't supposed to know we exist," he said. "That is one way the judges keep order."
"But you said that radiants can't mess with people's brains," she said. "Like my grandmother. Remember when I asked you if you can help her?"
"This is not the same thing," he said. "These radiants aren't like me. Or Mayim. We are supposed to protect you and help you. But we are not supposed to be with you. That's why we have laws. I haven't been in school and I haven't come to see you because I'm trying to keep them from finding out about you."
"What would happen if they did?" she asked.
"They would do the same as they did to Scotty," he answered.
Mary turned a shade paler. "They'd take my memories of you?"
He nodded.
"All of them?"
He nodded again. "It will be as if we never met."
Mary felt like someone had dropped a piano on her. "They can't do that!"
"Yes, they can," he said. "That is their job."
Mary felt a tear roll down her face. They were coming more easily since the rodeo. "Please don't let them."
He wiped away her tear and held her face in his hand. "I'll do what I can. But I may not be able to come to you as frequently."
Mary nodded. "But right now you're okay?"
"Yes."
"Good." She leaned forward and kissed him. Fortunately, she had a good coat of lip balm on, so he didn't burn her as much. Mary wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him onto the lounge chair with her.
"I think we better stop," he finally said.
"Why?"
"All of this is turning red," he said, pointing to her mouth, jawline, and a good portion of her throat. "And the more I kiss you, the harder it is for me to keep alert."
She sighed. "Okay. But can you still stay for a little while? I haven't seen you in days."
He smiled. "Yes. I can stay."
She curled up in his arms. Surrounded by his warmth, it was only a matter of minutes before Mary fell asleep again.
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