‘I want to veg.’ I grin, but he doesn’t give me anything. ‘Okay, I’ll lie like broccoli with you,’ I relent. ‘I’ll be whatever you’d like me to be.’
‘How about less irritating?’ he asks seriously.
I have a raging hangover, and I’m a little confused by how I came to be here, but he’s smiled at me, said some meaningful words, and he’s planning a whole day with me. I don’t care whether he laughs or smiles any more, or if he doesn’t engage with me when I’m trying to be playful. He’s too serious and there’s no sign of a sense of humour, but despite his clipped manner, I still find him impossibly captivating. I can’t stay away from him. He’s alluring and addictive, and as he glances down at his watch, I remember something else . . .
I think you know that I want more than four hours.
The memory thrills me. How long is more? And will he backtrack on that . . . again? Another image worms its way into my fuzzy mind – an image of pursed cherry-red lips and a stunned face. She’s beautiful, well-maintained, classy. She’s everything I would expect a man like Miller to go for.
‘You okay?’ Miller’s concerned tone pulls me from my thoughts.
I nod. ‘I’m sorry for vomiting everywhere,’ I say sincerely, thinking a woman like Miller’s business associate wouldn’t do something so lowly.
‘I’ve already forgiven you.’ He takes my neck and guides me to the bathroom. ‘I tried to brush your teeth last night, but you refused to hold still.’
I’m squirming, thinking it best that I can’t remember half of the evening. The things that I can are not making me feel any better about the stuff that I can’t – Gregory and Ben, for a start. ‘I need to call Gregory.’
‘No you don’t.’ He hands me a toothbrush. ‘He knows where you are and that you’re okay.’
‘He took your word for it?’ I ask, surprised, their heated words coming back to me.
‘I’m not compelled to explain myself to the man who encouraged your reckless behaviour.’ He puts some paste on the brush before putting it back in the cupboard behind the giant mirror that’s hanging over the sink. ‘But I did explain myself to your grandmother.’
‘You called her?’ I ask warily, wondering what he means by explaining himself. Explain that he’s moody, that he’s playing with my heart and sanity?
‘I did.’ He takes my hand and leads it to my mouth, encouraging me to brush. ‘We had a nice conversation.’
I put the brush in my mouth and start circling, just to stop myself from probing him on how that conversation went. But my face must be revealing pure curiosity, even though I have no desire to know what they spoke about.
‘She asked me if I’m married,’ he muses, making my eyes widen. ‘And once we’d cleared that up, she told me a few things.’
My brush slows in my mouth. What has she told him, damn her? ‘What did she tell you?’ The question I really don’t want to know the answer to just slips past my paste and brush.
‘She mentioned your mother, and I told her you’d already shared that with me.’ He stares thoughtfully at me, and I tense, feeling exposed. ‘Then she mentioned that you disappeared for a time.’
My heart starts a relentless, nervous beat in my chest. I feel mad. It’s not Nan’s place to share my history with anyone, least of all with a man that she’s met a handful of times. It’s my story to tell, if I want to tell it. And I don’t. That part I never want to share. I spit my toothpaste out and rinse, dying to escape the intensity of his inquisitive stare.
‘Where are you going?’ he asks as I leave the bathroom. ‘Livy, wait a minute.’
‘Where are my clothes?’ I don’t bother waiting for his answer, instead heading for the drawers, kneeling and pulling open the bottom one, then finding my bag, knickers and shoes.
He reaches me and pushes the drawer shut with his foot, then pulls me to my feet. I keep my head lowered, my hair tumbling all over my chest and face, giving me the perfect hiding place, until he removes it and lifts my chin, exposing me to curious eyes. ‘Why are you hiding from me?’
I don’t speak because I have no answer. He’s looking at me all sorrowful, which I hate. The mention of my mother and my disappearance has brought every second of last night flooding back, every single detail, every drink, every action . . . everything.
When he realises that he’s going to get nothing, he picks me up and takes me back to his bed, gently easing me down to my back and kneeling to push his shorts down his thighs. ‘I will never force you to do anything I know you don’t want to.’ He dips and kisses my hipbone, the feel of his slow moving mouth on my sensitive skin immediately chasing away my woes. ‘Please understand. I’m going nowhere, and neither are you.’ He’s trying to reassure me, but I’ve already shared enough.