“Okay, I was pissed.” Gracie grimaced. “I was jealous and angry and bitter. All I could see was perfect princess Riley getting something I wanted. I’ve been a mess of fucked up feelings for a while now. And I’ve unfairly made you a focal point for a lot of my shit,” Gracie confessed.
“Two weeks sober and getting into some heavy duty therapy can make things a lot clearer. I liked Garrett. But I didn’t want anything more than a new toy to play with. And when he offered only friendship I tried to manipulate it into something else. I’m a screwed up chick, Riley. Garrett says I’ve got Daddy issues.” Gracie looked away and I realized I knew very little about Gracie’s home life. I didn’t know much beyond the fact that her parents lived in this perfect Suburban house and she had a close relationship with her sister.
“Who knows? I guess my therapist will dig into all that psychological stuff. My point is I’ve been overdosing on the crazy for too long now. I don’t have those feelings for Garrett. I never did. So if that is standing in your way at all, get over it. I won’t be your excuse for missing out on a relationship with a great guy,” Gracie scolded me good-naturedly.
I swear I must have touched down in the Twilight Zone. I must have looked as shocked as I felt because Gracie tossed a nut at my face, which I barely swatted out of the way before it hit my nose.
“Not how you pictured this talk going? Do you want me to cry so you can give me some tissues? And then we can talk about our heavy flow or something?” Gracie teased, proving she knew me entirely too well.
I chuckled. “I’m quite okay with leaving the period discussion for another day. You know if you’re feeling tired or something.”
We had a moment of total normalcy. It felt unbelievably good. After months of topsy-turvy, this felt amazing.
Reaching over and grabbing a handful of M&Ms from another dish on the coffee table I finally asked one of the questions that needed to be asked. “When are you coming back to school?”
Gracie’s lips thinned out and she looked down. “I’m going to take a semester off. For now. I need to get myself together. I’ve been going out of control for a while now. I can’t go back until I know I can handle it,” she said with a surety that was good to hear.
Her words weren’t surprising but they made me sad all the same. Maysie would be graduating early and Gracie wouldn’t be coming back next semester. It seemed as though my last semester at Rinard was going to be a lonely one. Not exactly how I pictured my senior year of college.
“You do what you need to do,” I said, making sure I sounded supportive. Because Gracie was right. She needed a breather. College and parties and the stress of graduating were the last thing she needed.
“Thanks. I plan on it. And you’ll be so busy being awesome you’ll breeze through your last few months. Then you’ll be off to some fantastic grad school so you can become a kick ass journalist and give Barbara Walters a run for her money. BW pre-View, of course,” Gracie added before I could say it.
I grinned. “You know me too well, G.” I tossed some more chocolate in my mouth.
“And just maybe you could spend your summer going across country with a certain hot ass guitarist and his superlicious band,” Gracie suggested, wiggling her eyebrows.
Shit! I had forgotten about the tour. Garrett would be leaving. For a long time.
Gracie made a dismissive hand gesture, pulling me out of my black thoughts. “But you’ll figure it all out. Because that’s what you do. You figure stuff out and make the rest of us look like complete slackers for not having the slightest clue,” Gracie said affectionately though I felt a sting at her words.
I reached over and grabbed her hand, surprising her. “If I’ve ever made you feel like that, I’m sorry. I’m no better or more together than anyone else. I’m just as screwed up and clueless and the next girl. I just hide it better,” I admitted.