Out of the Depths

CHAPTER TWENTY

KYNDAL CHECKED HER WATCH as she left the employees’ restroom. Eleven forty-eight. Morning sickness came at midday today. If she could convince herself to throw up and get it over with, she’d be better off. Instead, she tried to talk herself out of the nausea and always ended up having to make a run for it. It hadn’t happened with a customer present yet, but no doubt it would.

Mandy, the assistant photographer, didn’t even try to hide her annoyance at Kyndal’s perpetual “stomach bug.” She had perfected the dramatic sigh accompanied by eye roll throughout the month of December, and used it now. “You really do need to see a doctor.”

Kyndal had no desire to share her personal life with the snotty little twit. “I have an appointment tomorrow” was as deep as she got. She gathered up the squeaky toys from the floor, wiping off the drool from their last customer—a pretentious poodle who growled and snapped at “Santa” Howard until he plied her with doggie treats. “Where’s Santa?” Kyndal moved the conversation to a less intimate topic.

“Getting more treats.” Mandy’s theatrics made Kyndal well aware that the sophomore photography major felt being an assistant was beneath her talent—and she hated working the weekend shift. And wiping the dog toys. And cleaning up the accidents that some of the more excitable animals left. She would’ve preferred to touch only the prints themselves.

A lady with a puggle in a military jacket came through the front door and headed their way, and Kyndal stifled an eye roll of her own.

Santa Howard took his place with the dog on his lap. The dog proved to be quite placid, and Kyndal became absorbed in getting the perfect shot. It came when the dog rose up to lick Santa’s nose. Howard turned his head to avoid the kiss, and a quick flick on the button made it look like the puggle was whispering his Christmas wishes in Santa’s ear. His “mommy” bought twenty-four copies of the pose.

As Mandy handed the woman her envelope of prints, Jaci came through the door waving magazines in each hand.

Kyndal’s heart leaped. Kentucky Wonders was a reality at last!

“I just got these next door.” Jaci thrust one toward her. “You get to see it first, so hurry up.”

The cover was one of her shots! The entrance to Chance’s cave—a black hole surrounded by gray limestone edged by the reds, yellows, oranges and browns of autumn trees. The shot was still breathtaking. She realized she was holding hers when she let it out in a whoosh and came out of her spell.

“I got the last seven copies,” Jaci was saying. “The lady at The Book Nook said they’d been a hot item all morning. They even moved them from the periodicals to a table up by the checkout. She said people were buying them as stocking stuffers and to send to family who’ve moved from the area. Cool, huh?”

“Very cool.” Kyndal turned the pages slowly, savoring the sight of her photographs once again showcased in a venue to be proud of. She clutched it tight against her and did a happy dance.

“Don’t wrinkle it.” Jaci’s eyes twinkled in opposition to her stern tone. “These may be collectors’ items someday.”

“Probably only if our moms decide to become collectors.” Kyndal shrugged. “And speaking of my mom, she called last night.”

The twinkle in Jaci’s eyes flickered, replaced by two-thirds concern and one-third question. “How did it go?”

“I’ll tell you over lunch if you can stay.” Kyndal pointed toward the back of the store where the employees had their small kitchen. “Progresso Minestrone.”

Jaci nodded. “It’ll have to be fast, though. The kittens are in the car with the heating pad plugged in. I don’t want to run down my battery.”

Kyndal had to smile at her friend’s dedication to the orphaned kittens. For the past four weeks, she’d hauled them around almost everywhere she went, including work. She’d even hired a kitten-sitter on a few occasions.

“Mandy—” Kyndal followed the young woman’s dour expression to the young man in a leather jacket with a boa constrictor wrapped around his neck headed their way “—I’m taking lunch now.”

“You would.”

“She’s a little jewel,” Jaci whispered as they made their way out of Santa’s Pet Station.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure her heart’s made of stone.”

The kitchen was empty, and Kyndal was glad for the privacy. Most of the employees ate at the fast-food places in the area. Occasionally, someone else brought lunch, but not often.

“So what did Mom think about being a grandma?” Jaci opened the can of soup as Kyndal got the bowls out of the cabinet.

“She cried.” Kyndal felt her voice about to break, so she concentrated on filling the bowls and getting them into the microwave. “Telling her was more difficult than I expected. She was shocked. Even more so when I told her the father was Chance. She wants to come home, but they don’t have the money to make the trip.”

Jaci’s eyes narrowed. “Did she ask you for money?”

“Yeah.” She filled Jaci in on the specifics of what her mom and Lloyd had been doing. Rehashing the conversation took away Kyndal’s appetite. She put the bowls on the table, stirring hers to cool it. “I had to turn her down.” The spoonful she took seemed to solidify in her mouth, and she forced it down. “It was the first time I’ve ever done that, and it felt so horrible. But I had to. Things are going to be expensive, even with Chance helping out so much.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Kyn. You did the right thing. She’s got to stop using you. Now’s a good time.”

Jaci’s reassurance confirmed Kyndal’s feelings. She had to stop being an enabler or her mom would never learn to take responsibility.

Wow! The baby was already bringing out her strength and resourcefulness. The second spoonful went down more easily as the zesty flavor of the minestrone woke her taste buds and her appetite. Suddenly, she was ravenous. How could she throw up and then eat less than an hour later?

“You’ll come to our house for Christmas, then.”

Jaci’s command didn’t leave any room for argument—not that Kyndal would ever have dreamed of turning her down. “What would I do without you, Jaci?”

A shadow darkened her friend’s face, and she dropped her eyes. “I dunno. Maybe have an uneventful life as a photographer at Shop-a-Lot?” She paused to slurp up some soup. “So, will Rick be in town for Christmas? Do you think he and Denise would want to come to our house?”

“Maybe.” Rick had become one of Kyndal’s favorite people. He was so darn genuine. But the jury was still out on Denise. She had such a pretentious air…and her voice grated on Kyndal’s nerves.

“Has Chance been naughty? Cause this nice stuff is getting boring.”

Over the past four weeks since Thanksgiving, she and Chance had found a peace that was tentative at best. A current of underlying tension was ever present, making her feel as though she was in a perpetual tango.

When old feelings started to churn to the surface—like every time he touched her—she would avoid him for a few days to let things cool down. But avoiding him was getting to be difficult. He would surprise her at work and take her to lunch. He called her every night to check on her, and sometimes came over to spend the evening. She could say no, she supposed, but she didn’t want to. She practically lived for the next time she’d see him.

And that was a very bad thing.

She reached for the salt, but changed her mind. “He’s going to the doctor with me tomorrow.”

“I’m glad he’s being so supportive.” Jaci laid her spoon down, and her sad look sent a chill down Kyndal’s spine.

“What is it, Jaci? What’s wrong?”

Her friend’s bottom lip trembled. “I shouldn’t be telling this, but I know you won’t say anything. Stuart left Julia last week. She told me this morning.”

“Oh, how horrible.” Tears sprang up in Kyndal’s eyes. “How can he do that to her with what she’s going through? And right at Christmas. That’s just evil.”

She took a drink to help a bite of cracker go down. “Isn’t it odd?” She spoke more to herself than to Jaci. “In a world where everyone’s supposed to be unique, there seems to be an inordinate number of men cut from the same cloth.”

“You said it, sistah. But thank God there’s not two of Bart.” Jaci dabbed her nose. “One’s all I can stand at a time.”

Kyndal smiled, but Jaci must’ve read the doubt in her eyes.

“I know you’re including Chance in that group, Kyn, but I’m not sure he belongs there anymore.”

With one insightful sentence, Jaci cracked the shell Kyndal had formed around her heart, and a tiny grain of hope seeped in.

Kyndal shrugged, which took some effort considering the weight on her shoulders. “Time will tell, I guess.”

“Well, just remember, some guys leave of their own accord, but some get pushed away.” Jaci finished her soup. “I’ve got to get back to work. Julia’s not having a good day.” She grabbed a Sharpie pen from a basket on the table and took three of the magazines off the stack. “These are mine. I want them autographed.”

Kyndal mimicked a movie-star tone. “Oh, of course, dahling!” It was amazing how much the gesture made her feel like a celebrity even though she was sitting in the back of a pet store in an elf costume. She scrawled her name with a flourish across the bottom of the first copy.

“Those are yours.” Jaci pointed to the four left on the table. “Don’t get soup on them. Talk to you later.”

“Thanks!” Kyndal called after her. She took a magazine from the stack and studied the cover photo. A swell of pride grew in her chest. Slowly she opened the cover and read the words at the bottom of the page. “‘Cover photo by Kyndal Rawlings.’” She smoothed her fingertips over them.

This magazine was a new beginning. The tiny grain of hope took root and began to sprout, allowing her to dream big. It would pave the way to the job, getting her good reputation back…success.

A means of meeting Chance on a level playing field.

A new beginning for the three of them…and, maybe, the chance of a life together.

* * *

JACI CHOSE THE SHORTCUT through the store that would take her down the aisle of cat toys. Gandalf the Gray, showing off his tomcat instincts, had already shown an affinity for the fuzzy gray mouse toys, indicating he would be either a good mouser or a catnip addict. The little female, Arwen, had a gentler nature, preferring to bat around the balls with little bells inside.

Watching the kittens play had become the new favorite pastime during breakfast, replacing her and Bart’s long-standing tradition of watching the news over a second cup of coffee.

She snickered, remembering the string of expletives Bart had unleashed when he’d crunched one of the plastic balls underfoot as he headed to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She picked out a new set for Arwen and then grabbed up another pack of mice so Gandalf wouldn’t feel left out.

The kittens were asleep in the box when she got to the car, and they continued to snooze all the way to Erlene Moore’s house.

The young mother, whose due date was fast approaching, met her at the door, looking tired and frazzled with her two-year-old in tow. “Cody doesn’t want to take a nap today.” She gave a thin laugh. “But I’m ready for one.”

“This won’t take long.” Jaci pointed to the book of window covering samples under her arm. “The soft, pleated shades have the look you want, so we just need to decide on a color.”

“My woom, Mommy.” Cody stretched Erlene’s arm to its full length. “My woom.”

“He loves his room.”

“Yay!” Jaci gave a clap of approval. Incorporating the little boy’s love of baseball and his dad’s love of the St. Louis Cardinals had been a winning design.

“He wants to stay in there all the time.” Erlene gave a tired sigh. “All reading must now be done while sitting in the stadium seats.” She motioned to Jaci and allowed the little boy to lead the way, probably too tired to argue.

During an online auction, Jaci had procured two reserved stadium seats salvaged from the old Busch Stadium. She wasn’t sure who was more excited by the treasure—Cody or his dad. Some school lockers painted red gave extra storage space at eye level for a two-year-old and provided an authentic locker room atmosphere.

As she looked around, a bubble of pride swelled. The room had come together quickly and painlessly, and it was perfect.

The nursery hadn’t been as easy, but it was coming along. Jaci continually scoured books and magazines for fresh, new ideas because Erlene was insisting on a total redo. She didn’t want Cody to think the baby was pushing him out of his space, so she wanted everything changed.

From the looks of things, the young mother’s gonna be doing some pushing of her own soon. The thought brought on a fleeting moment of what-might-have-been, but Jaci worked through the pain by thinking about Kyndal. For some reason, that always helped.

It was hard to imagine her friend with a belly as swollen as Erlene’s, but she’d already proudly displayed her bump one night as they sat at their laptops, gathering lists of baby-proofing ideas.

Kyndal had seemed undaunted by the task while Jaci had been dumbfounded. So many things to think about. Too many things that could go wrong.

Erlene squeezed into one of the stadium seats and started thumbing through the samples. Cody slowed down the process, constantly demanding she return to the previous page. At this rate, choosing the window shades would take all afternoon rather than the hour Jaci had allotted.

“Cody, I have some kitties in the car. Would you like to see them?” She tried to entice the child away from his mother.

The toddler nodded enthusiastically, and pulled at his mom’s hand. “Kitties, Mommy. See kitties.”

“Why don’t you bring them in?” Erlene suggested. “Are they housebroken?”

“They’re litter trained, but I carry a litter box with me because I take them to work.” Jaci read the question in Erlene’s expression. “The momma cat died so we’re raising the babies. I’ll take them in the mudroom, then come back and get Cody.”

She went to the car and got the box of sleeping kittens and their supplies and set them up in the room off the garage. When she went back and fetched Cody, Erlene was tearful with gratitude.

She felt her heart squeeze a bit when she took the child’s hand, but talking about Gandalf and Arwen released the tension.

Cody was surprisingly gentle with the babies, which Jaci thought was a good sign for the infant who would soon share his home. They delighted him when they woke up ready to play, chasing the balls he rolled to them, frolicking and biting each other’s tails. He was especially fascinated when they scratched around in the litter box to go potty, and, of course, it reminded him that he needed to go potty, too.

Jaci and the toddler left the kittens, who were once again ready for a catnap after their romp, and headed down the hallway toward the bathroom.

A strange sound floated from Cody’s room, and he swerved away from the bathroom and headed toward it, pulling Jaci along.

Erlene still held the samples in her lap, but her head was lolled back against the wall, and her mouth hung open. The sound they’d heard was the exhausted woman’s relaxed snore.

Before she could catch him, Cody pulled from Jaci’s

grip and ran to his mother, slapping the book from her lap, and causing her to wake with a start.

“Oh…oh, I’m so sorry.” Her face flushed deep crimson.

Jaci’s heart went out to her. She waved away the apology while she gathered up the sample book. “It’s okay. You need whatever rest you can get.”

“Mommy, kitties.” Cody pulled his mother’s hand, trying to pry her from her seat. “Kitties,” he whined.

“The kitties are asleep right now,” Jaci told him. “They’re taking a nap. Is it time for your nap?”

“No!” He remained emphatic on the subject, and Erlene sighed dejectedly.

“Tell you what.” Jaci inclined her head toward the hallway. “I’m going to get out of here, and maybe he’ll change his mind if you both lie down on his new bed. I’ll leave the samples on the dining room table. Get to them when you can, and call me when you’ve made a decision.”

“Okay.” Erlene gave a sheepish smile. “And thanks. That half-hour was the best nap I’ve had in a while.”

Jaci laughed and blew a kiss to Cody, who suddenly remembered he needed to go potty. As he and his mother hurried toward the bathroom, Jaci gathered up the box with her sleeping babies, and let herself out.

She remembered how tired she’d been during the first week after she’d found the kittens, having to stop whatever she was doing, which included sleeping, every two hours to bottle-feed them. Thank heavens she hadn’t had to keep that up long.

How did Erlene keep going, sleep deprived to the point of exhaustion? And, with another on the way, the cycle would soon start over.

How was Kyndal going to do it? How could she handle a job and the baby, too? Even as the thought surfaced, the answer came.

Kyndal…Erlene…they would both be fine.

These women had some kind of inner strength they called upon, a mysterious element evident in most women. In the females of all species.

Mom material.

Whatever it was, when it was given out, Jaci decided she must not have been paying attention.

She’d been talking, most likely.

* * *

“NINE WEEKS MAY BE A bit soon, but maybe we’ll call in a little Christmas magic.” Dr. Tally held out the fetal Doppler device to Chance. “Would Dad like to do the honors?”

Chance nodded and took the microphone in one shaky hand and the speaker in the other. “Mine’s beating hard enough to hear without this thing.”

Kyndal lay on the table with her shirt pulled up to expose her belly, which was still almost flat with barely any indication of a bump.

Dr. Tally’s hands gripped his and guided them slowly across Kyndal’s midsection. They were all silent, listening for the sound that the doctor had explained would be a representation of their baby’s heartbeat, not the beat itself.

Chance held his breath, straining to hear something that made sense amidst the cacophony. He saw the anticipation in Kyndal’s eyes edged with fear, and he winked at her in assurance.

Her returning smile was hesitant as she chewed her lower lip. Then his attention was jerked back to his hands by an almost imperceptible tightening of Dr. Tally’s.

At first, the sound was indistinguishable from its background, but soon the regularity pulled it out.

His eyes flew to Kyndal’s and locked, sharing this moment of wonder. He carefully laid the speaker on the table and took her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. She caressed his cheek in a gesture so tender it stopped his breath.

“That’s what we like to hear. Strong and sassy.” Dr. Tally’s exuberance broke the spell, but the magic lingered.

The rest of the appointment went by in a blur of cursory questions and mundane instructions—nothing that could remotely compete with that sound of the living, beating heart he and Kyndal had created together.

As he walked her to her car, he still vibrated with excitement. “I thought I was prepared for that, but…wow.”

“Chance Brennan speechless?” Kyndal elbowed him playfully. “That’s a first.”

He intended to throw his arm around her shoulder and give her a squeeze, but once he got his arm around her, it didn’t feel like enough. He pulled her against him and captured her mouth in a kiss.

* * *

CHANCE’S LIPS SEARED every nerve in her body and pushed every thought from her brain.

She didn’t care that they were standing in the middle of a downtown parking lot with gawking eyes all around.

The only thing that mattered was that the lips on hers belonged to the only man she’d ever loved. And for that moment he belonged to her.

She gave in and responded with all the passion her hormone-flooded system could produce.

The kiss lasted much too long to be proper—and ended much too soon.

Chance gave her a lopsided grin. “I thought I was prepared for that, but…wow.”

Kyndal laughed, trying to quell both the rising desire and the rising panic vying for domination within her small frame. Oh, good Lord! One taste of this man had set off a craving the likes of which no pregnancy had ever known! She stuffed her hands in her coat pockets to keep from reaching for him again and stepped up her pace. He stayed right beside her all the way to her car and opened the door for her.

She slid into the seat and buckled the seat belt. “I’ve got to run, Counselor. Wouldn’t want to piss off Santa with only three more days of work. I need them all.”

A shadow crossed Chance’s face and his expression sobered. “Kyn, I have a charity event Wednesday night. Would you like to go with me? I know it’s short notice, and that’s the night before Christmas Eve, but you’ve been working so hard. A party might be a nice change.”

Kyndal’s brain dissolved into a congealed mass of flubber. A date? It would be a mistake to go, but she couldn’t come up with a plausible reason not to, so she stalled. “Um…I’m not sure if I’m up to it.”

“I’ll get you home early.”

She started the engine. “Can I let you know later? After I get home?”

He nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay, then. I’ll call you tonight.”

She pulled away, disgusted with her inconsistent reaction when it came to Chance.

The memory of his kiss had surely inspired that response.

Her brain certainly had nothing to do with it.