“Yes, she definitely thinks that. Well, actually, everyone does after your yelling in the kitchen.”
The part of Sophie that had played assistant for so long slipped out, because she rushed to reassure him. “Well, she may have her suspicions, but it’ll blow over. And she’s in human resources, so she’s pretty much the dead end of the gossip train.”
“Ms. Jennings isn’t dealing in suspicions any longer, she’s dealing in facts.”
“You told her…that we…you know…”
“Not in those words, no. But I told her that I’d lost something, and I wanted it back. I think she put the pieces together.”
Sophie tried to process, but her brain didn’t seem to be keeping up with her racing heart.
“What did you lose?” she whispered.
“Come on, Sophie,” he said as he stepped closer. “You’re smarter than this.”
At the reminder of his assessment of her intellect, she stiffened. “I’m not coming back here, Gray. I’m not going to be your disposable assistant, and I sure as hell am not going to tiptoe around, trying not to embarrass you while waiting for you to decide that our relationship has run its course.”
He moved closer still, and she became captivated by the heat in his eyes. She hadn’t seen this expression before from him, and she felt nervous. So much for her being a people person. She’d never felt so confused.
“You don’t embarrass me,” he said, reaching for her hand. “You couldn’t. You’re the best part of me.”
Every self-preserving instinct in her body was screaming at her. Pull back. Run. Kick him in the balls.
She stayed. “What are you trying to say?”
“I want you back,” he said simply.
“As your secretary or bed partner?”
His eyes flashed angrily. “Don’t.”
“What else am I supposed to think? You made it perfectly clear that my role in your life was to lie on my back, while you could find any old employee to take care of your stapling.”
He opened his mouth, but shut it again, looking frustrated. She nearly softened. Like a foolish woman in love, she found it endearing that he was pushing himself so far out of his element for her.
But she couldn’t relent. Whatever plan he had in store for them would involve rules and boundaries and heartache. It would never work.
“I have to go,” she said softly.
He swallowed and nodded. He looked panicked, and she longed to help him with whatever he was struggling with, but he was no longer her personal project to be tweaked and prodded.
Blinking back tears, she grabbed her box and headed for the door. As far as closure went, it was a total bust, but sometimes cleaner was better.
“Sophie,” he called hoarsely.
Keep walking.
“Don’t, Gray,” she whispered, slowing her steps.
“Do you love me?”
The question sounded like it was torn from his throat, from his heart, and she faltered.
Her tears fell freely now. “You have no right to ask me that. No right.”
“Do you?” His voice was closer now.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said quietly.
“It matters,” he said roughly, close enough now to grab her shoulder. “It matters.”
He turned her toward him, but she sucked in a sob and refused to look at him.
“Don’t do this,” she begged. “I can’t be what you want.”
“You are what I want.”
The desperation in his voice made her look up, clutching the flimsy cardboard box to her like a security blanket. What she saw nearly undid her.
His eyes were damp and pleading. Please, they said. Please.
But he remained silent, and she knew he wouldn’t know how to say what was written on his face. He wouldn’t ever be able to say it, and she deserved to hear it.
She tried to turn again, but he held her still, his throat working in obvious effort.
“Let me go,” she said quietly. Firmly. She could do this.
“I can’t.” He shook his head. “I can’t.”
Sophie smiled sadly and pulled away. “I’m not the one for you, Gray. You’re looking for a good-time girl, and I know you think that’s me, but—”
“Dammit, would you stop talking like that!” he growled like an animal in agony.
“I want a family!” she said, her voice breaking. “I want a husband who’s proud of the stuff he burns on the grill, and a baby who yanks out my earrings, and a big dog who will probably smell when it rains. You don’t want any of those things!”
His fingers tightened on her upper arms, and he shook her so hard she dropped the box, the spilled contents lying ignored at their feet. “I’d want them with you.”
Her heart gave a jolt, and she closed her eyes. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to torture her.
“I love you, Sophie,” he whispered hoarsely.
She thought her heart would explode in ecstasy and pain. He couldn’t possibly know what he was doing.
“Gray, listen—”