Her parents nodded, looking uncomfortably out of their depth. She didn’t blame them, not really. The Dalton family didn’t communicate in scenes and tears. But before she let them off the hook, she had one more thing to say.
“You know, getting rejected by a guy who doesn’t think I’m good enough is one thing. I can move on from that. Eventually. But you guys are my family. I shouldn’t have to try so hard to be good enough. It should be enough for you guys that I’m happy, even if I’m not impressive.”
“Sophie, you know we love you,” her mom said, looking on the verge of tears.
“Yeah, I know, Mom. But I need that love to stop being so judgmental.”
“I’m not—”
“Yeah, you are. If it’s not my jeans, it’s my hair, or my job, or my friends, or my hobbies. I’m never going to be Brynn. Stop trying to make me.”
Brynn shifted awkwardly. “Don’t bring me into this.”
“I love you both equally,” Marnie said, her voice wavering.
“I know,” Sophie said, letting her voice soften. “Respect us equally too, okay? And if you don’t, fine, I guess. But I’m done caring about it, so get used to these jeans.”
Sophie gave her dad a hug, which he stiffly returned, and she planted a kiss on the top of her mom’s blonde head.
The parental units weren’t exactly vomiting out apologies, but they looked thoughtful. Maybe that was something.
Brynn followed Sophie out to the front door and watched in silence as Sophie put her shoes on. There were things to be said between them as well, but Brynn seemed to sense that Sophie had reached her emotional conversation quota for the evening.
“Call me later?” Brynn said after Sophie had grabbed her purse.
“Sure. Probably tomorrow.”
They hugged, and Brynn tucked a wayward curl behind Sophie’s ear. “Soph, you know all that stuff you were saying about just wanting to be happy?”
Sophie nodded.
“Well…are you happy?”
Sophie looked out at the pouring rain and considered. “No. Not yet. But I’m learning how to be.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Sophie was secure enough with herself to be able to admit her worst faults. The most prevalent flaw at the moment? Complete cowardice.
“Thanks again for meeting me,” Sophie said to Beth Jennings as they stood outside the Brayburn Luxuries office building. “I know that coming down on a Saturday night isn’t ideal, but I couldn’t make it earlier in the week and I need to pick up my stuff before Monday.”
She hated lying to Beth, but coming on a Saturday was the only way Sophie could retrieve the belongings she’d left in the office without risk of running into Gray.
“No problem,” Beth said as she buzzed open the front door. Sophie still had her key to the Brayburn office suites, but she’d lost electronic access to the building on the day she’d quit.
“Do you mind if I leave you here?” Beth asked, holding the door open for Sophie. “My friends invited me for a last-minute drink at a bar just up the street, and I’d love to meet up with them before it gets too late.”
“Oh! Of course,” Sophie said, guiltily. “Are you sure it’s okay if I just let myself up?”
“Sure,” Beth said with a shrug. “A little against protocol, but it’ll be our little secret. Just leave the keys in your desk drawer and I’ll grab them on Monday. Rachel packed all of your personal stuff into a box, but you may want to take a quick look around and make sure she didn’t forget anything.”
“Will do. And thanks again for coming all the way down here. I owe you one.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’d do the same for me. Hug?”
Sophie smiled and embraced her friend. Waving one last good-bye to Beth with a promise to stay in touch, she headed toward the elevator. Hitting the button for the fourteenth floor for the last time, Sophie waited for the usual wave of bittersweet emotions to hit her. She was well practiced at leaving jobs, and the series of emotions was always the same.
Regret at leaving new friends.
Excitement about future opportunities.
Doubt that she was making the right choice.
This time, she experienced the expected first and second emotion, and she braced herself for the third. It was always the worst.
But the doubt never came. She was making the right decision in leaving. There was no “maybe” this time. She’d enjoyed her time at Brayburn, save for the painful last day, but she’d never belonged here. She’d never invested herself, never let it define her, never let herself excel.
Sophie had nothing but respect for assistants and corporate staff of all natures, because it was a hell of a lot harder than people knew. But it wasn’t her passion. It was time to move on.
The past weeks since leaving Brayburn had been the most enlightened of Sophie’s life. It had been painful to realize that her chronic job-hopping had never been about spontaneity and following her heart. It had merely been a method of avoiding herself.