Not Your Ordinary Housewife

Epilogue





Deirdre was the last person to see Paul alive, at around 7 p.m. on Tuesday, 7 April 2009 when she told him to go downstairs. Apparently they had an arrangement that he slept in the basement when he was drunk. She didn’t find his body until 6:05 a.m. on Thursday, two days later. In her police interview, she said she went to work on the Wednesday morning without checking on Paul. She wasn’t asked why she didn’t check on him that evening and no explanation was offered. When asked why she checked on the Thursday morning, she cited the fact that she hadn’t heard his smoker’s cough and thought something was awry.

The coroner couldn’t give an exact date of death, only a range: Paul died sometime between Tuesday night and Thursday morning, probably closer to the former. The autopsy report cited chronic and acute alcoholism as Paul’s cause of death; the presence of vomit in his mouth may have been the immediate precipitator. Prominent marbling—associated with decomposition—was evident, the face being only just recognisable for identification purposes. Autolytic degradation of tissue cells was present in all organs, and severe in some. Other organs (including Paul’s brain) were liquefied to such an extent that sectioning was impossible.

Due to the disturbing nature of the death scene, the coroner most reluctantly released the photos. They depicted a squalid basement unfit for human habitation, with 150 empty wine casks, an enema kit and two buckets—the makeshift toilets used for evacuation of bowel contents. Nearby was the filthy foam mattress on which Paul’s body was found.

He was 45 years old when he died.



Over several conversations with the children and me spanning several months, Deirdre confirmed that Paul was cross-dressing during her time with him. She said that it was ‘almost a relief’ that he was dead, even stating that ‘towards the end, I don’t think I loved him any more’.

To date Deirdre hasn’t asked for a portion of the ashes; nor did she offer to contribute financially to the funeral, although she received half of Paul’s meagre superannuation. Upon request, I obtained a few more items from Deirdre, including several early issues of Flesh. The funeral expenses were eventually covered by the sale of Paul’s car, although his estate was bankrupt.



In a remarkable coincidence, Shoshanna completed a hotel management traineeship at the Pavilion Hotel in Canberra (now Rydges Capital Hill).

Inspired by his grandfather’s achievements, Ben is saving to start a pilot training course.

Ya’el won the Cancer Council Victoria art competition. Her work combined a facsimile of my pathology report with her drawing of me.

My community choir, The Chocolate Lilies, released their first CD; I have also returned to drawing and photography.

My chemo was apparently successful and I am now in remission, although the statistics for ovarian cancer are chilling.



In 2012, X-rated videos are still only legally available for purchase from the Australian Capital Territory and Northern Territory despite the fact that X-rated material is freely available on the internet. There are no further plans to introduce a non-violent erotica category.

The Horny Housewife Home Movies 1 to 5 can be found in the National Film and Sound Archive of Australia.





Acknowledgements





Where to begin? Perhaps my thankyous are best done chronologically, so I’ll start with my dear friend Dr Beth Spencer—for giving me that initial push to tell my story and for her incisive comments along the way.

To my cherished MLC friends: Lyn Dennerstein, who deserves a very special mention as a fabulous feedback reader, who gave so generously of her time with such incredible insight; and to Sue Rose, Lee Hunter, Karen Innes and Jane Miller—thank you for being there for me, especially during the very dark days of my chemo.

And to my other dear friends who were so encouraging with their enthusiasm and support: Roxanne Viggiano, Ruth Schoenheimer, John Beckwith, Dr Ann Davidson, Neil Huybregts and Sonia Van den Berg. To my choir, the Chocolate Lilies: thank you all, especially Nerida Kirov, for providing such a wonderful environment in which to sing together.

Thank you to Craig Brittain, reference librarian at Adelaide’s Flinders University, to whom I owe a huge debt of gratitude for his brilliant research skills and tireless efforts. Thank you also to my many Eastern Regional Library friends and colleagues, particularly at Ringwood and Knox, especially Alan Bennett for his military expertise.

To all the industry people who were so wonderfully helpful in my requests for information: thank you Robbie Swan (lobbyist extraordinaire), David Haines (former Deputy Chief Censor), John Lark, Peter Chan, Peter Arman, Peter Torney, Sue Metzenrath and Suzanne Bower.

To the late Dr Alan Saunders of the ABC—philosopher and broadcaster—for his help with the High Court legal arguments.

To Irina Dunn: thank you for your constructive criticisms and encouragement. I will always be grateful to you for securing both my publisher and agent.

To my incredible agent, Selwa Anthony: you’re an absolute marvel! And my tireless editor, the legendary Dr Richard Walsh: thank you for commissioning my book and for working with me so patiently on it. Your efforts have improved it beyond my wildest expectations.

And to all the amazingly talented people at Allen & Unwin, in particular Claire Kingston, Kathryn Knight and Amy Milne, and copyeditor Jo Lyons: thank you all for making this dream come true.

To the iconic Xaviera Hollander: thank you for your wonderful commendation; as well as to two other extraordinary women, Annie Sprinkle and Indigo Bloome.

And last but not least, to my three dear children—here you have it: your parents’ lives, warts and all!