Not After Everything

“Now, get. The fuck. Out. Of. My. Room.” I let him drop.

Coughing and rubbing his neck, which is an angry shade of pink, he stands and pulls himself together. “You’re gonna regret that.” His words are threatening but his voice is shaking and he still can’t look at me. He grabs the bottle of Jack I hadn’t even noticed off my desk and trudges up the stairs. I expect him to slam my door but I don’t even hear it close.

I begin to straighten up my room, but I’m just too angry. What gives him the right to invade my space? We’re both grieving. Who the hell does he think he is? I abandon my cleanup, pulling my shirt on. I’ve got to see Jordyn.

Just as my foot hits the bottom stair I hear the most awful yelp from the kitchen. I rush up just in time to witness Dad kicking the shit out of Captain. There’s blood everywhere. I have no doubt he has every intention of killing him. The look in his eyes is terrifying. It’s inhuman. I reach him as he lands a heavy stomp on Captain’s rib cage. I hear snapping just before I throw Dad back into the counter. He makes a move to come at Captain again, but I backhand him with my good hand and he stumbles.

He laughs, spitting at Captain on his way past us up to his room. “You should probably just put that fucking thing out of its misery.” His bedroom door slams and I’m left there staring, wondering how the hell this happened. Did I cause this? Captain’s nose is bleeding pretty badly. And he’s whimpering in pain. He looks like he’s been hit by a car. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. I’m not sure if there’s anything that can be done for him, but I run down to my room and grab all my cash and a towel, lock my door, and then I scoop Captain up.

I have a hard time driving to Jordyn’s, I’m shaking so hard. And I can barely breathe. If Captain dies, I swear to god I will kill my father. I honk frantically as I pull up to the house. Jordyn and Kelly come running out.

“What’s going on? Did something happen? Are you hurt?” Kelly asks, pulling open the car door.

I manage to choke out, “Captain.”

Jordyn understands and rushes to the back window. “Oh my god!” She gets in and cradles Captain’s head in her lap.

“I’ll meet you there,” Kelly calls to Jordyn as she runs back to the house.

“Go!” Jordyn screams.

I do. She calls directions to me as I speed to the place where she volunteers.

“He did this, didn’t he?” She’s pissed.

I nod. “But it’s my fault. I started it.”

“It’s not your fault. He’s a fucking psycho.”

“Please don’t tell your mom and Henry, Jordyn. Please.”

I can see how much she wants to ignore this. But she takes a deep breath. “We’ll tell them he got hit by a car.”

“Thank you.”

The vet rushes Captain into the back and Jordyn follows, leaving me alone in the waiting room. Kelly and Henry run in a few minutes later.

“Are you okay?” Kelly asks, guiding me over to a row of seats.

I’m still shaking. “He got out and someone hit him.” The fact that she’s asking about me makes me wonder if Jordyn has said something to her. I begin to pull away, but then Kelly sits next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders, and I can’t help myself; I turn toward her and let her hold me like my mom used to and I cry.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, stroking my head.

“He was my mom’s,” I manage to get out.

She holds me tighter, rocking me, rubbing my back, and all her mothering suddenly makes me sadder than anything that’s happened tonight. Henry sits on my other side and pats my back as I completely come undone.

Finally, after forever, Jordyn comes out. I jump to my feet, somehow finding the energy.

“He’s going to be fine,” she says, which makes me start crying again. “The X-ray showed six broken ribs and we were afraid his lungs might be punctured or his stomach ruptured because of the bloody nose, but, luckily, it’s just a bloody nose. He’s going to hurt for a while, but he’s going to make it.”

I pull her into me and hold her tight, still crying, because there’s no more room in me for all the relief.

? ? ?

“I can’t take Captain home. He’ll kill him,” I say as Jordyn drives my car back to her place. Which was a good call because, though I managed to pull myself together, I now feel like every ounce of energy has been drained out of me.

“I’ll take care of Captain until you get the hell out of that house.”

I look over at her, the red stoplight reflecting off her hair. “I really don’t deserve you.”

“I wish you’d stop saying that.” She turns and kisses me.

I nod.

“You can’t stay there tonight.”





TWENTY-NINE


Kelly’s made some kind of pot roast, and what little I manage to get down is delicious. I just don’t feel like eating. At least I’m not wearing my blood-soaked clothes; Kelly insisted on washing them and gave me one of Henry’s shirts and some sweatpants that look older than me.

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