Nocturne

“Lie back,” I commanded, not breaking his fiery gaze.

 

“Are you … do you …”

 

I nodded. “Pill.” As he scooted up the bed, I climbed over his body, straddling his narrow hips.

 

“God …” As reticent as he was in the classroom, he seemed more at a loss for words as I leaned over him and bit his collarbone. That elicited another incoherent noise from the depths of his want.

 

I pulled back a little, raising myself up enough to slide onto him. I went slowly, tossing my head back and wincing before sighing in blissful relief as he filled every part of me. Once I settled all the way onto him I paused for a moment and looked at him. I was almost startled to find him staring right back at me, eyes calm as his chest rose and fell erratically.

 

I rocked forward and back, slowly at first, as we adjusted to each other. Our eyes never once strayed, as my movements got faster … harder. Soon, the intensity of his hands guiding my hips up and down became so much that I had to close my eyes, crying out with each hard thrust.

 

Leaning forward slightly, I clenched the sheets as I kissed him. This new angle of our bodies caused me to shake in anticipation of the orgasm it would bring. I worked faster, digging my knees into the bed as I pushed on him harder, making him go deeper inside me than anyone had been before. Warmth circled my insides and I knew it was only a matter of seconds.

 

Pressure building inside of me, I pressed my forehead into his shoulder and screamed his name as my knees went weak and the orgasm took over. Every muscle from my waist down seized around him, releasing and tightening four, five, six times as he continued to relentlessly push against me.

 

“God … Savannah!”

 

“Don’t stop!” I cried out, despite having nothing left to give.

 

“Roll over.” Abruptly serious through unsteady breaths, Gregory moved his hands from my hips to my shoulders.

 

I still felt the heat from his hands on my hips as I carefully slid off him. My insides remained on fire as I settled onto my back, anticipating his next move. The only warning I had was a flicker of desperate mischief in his eyes before he plunged into me.

 

“Shit!” I gripped the backs of his legs, bracing myself.

 

“Look at me,” he ordered as sweat trickled down his neck and chest.

 

My eyes were closed tight, bracing my body for the onslaught of his. It felt so good I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to break this moment.

 

“Look at me.” A demanding rumble came from his throat.

 

He started working faster, his movements becoming more syncopated. As instructed, I opened my eyes. His eyes met me expectantly, waiting for me to obey him. When I did, he threw his head back and let out an animal howl, pulsing hard as he warmed me. Filled me.

 

Our slick skin glided across each other as he lay down on top of me. I felt his pulse against my breast and my inner thigh as we both lay in a ragged heap across my bed. I was dizzy as his mouth found my nipple and his tongue turned in lazy circles around it.

 

Once I regained most of my senses, I dragged my hands through his damp hair, lifting his face from my chest. It was there again. The calm. Like a quiet lake lapping onto a lonely shore, Gregory’s eyes caused me to catch my breath.

 

“What?” he asked, kissing the side of my breast before resting his chin there. A contented smile worked its way tentatively across his lips.

 

It had been happening before that moment. Feelings set in motion before I’d taken my first exam in his class, and certainly well before our first kiss. But there, with Gregory lying on top of me as he smoothed my hair away from my face, I knew.

 

I loved him and there was no turning back.

 

Ever.

 

No matter what.

 

 

 

 

 

It was a few minutes past 4:00 a.m. when we’d fallen asleep, legs wrapped around each other and my head on his chest. Dawn didn’t wait for us to be ready; it came on schedule and poured harsh light into my bedroom. I shifted, rubbing my cheek against his chest as I savored the sensation of his skin against mine.

 

“I love you, Savannah.” Gregory caressed my shoulder blade as he spoke.

 

“I love you, too.” I smiled and looked up, resting my chin on his chest.

 

His thumb kept moving across my skin, but his mouth was frozen in a firm line. His eyes were a mess. Tired, bloodshot, but strikingly vulnerable. He’d meant what he’d just said. I felt it in his voice, but he wasn’t looking at me.

 

I sat up a little, moving my head into his line of vision. “Hey …”

 

He sat up against the headboard, the sheet falling away from his chest, and ran a hand through his rumpled hair. “I’m sorry, Savannah.”

 

“What are you sorry for?” I reflexively clenched my fists, sitting up and facing him, not liking the sudden dread settling over my chest. Even though Madeline wasn’t home, I spoke in a near-whisper. “You just told me you love me.”

 

He clenched his jaw, as if what he was about to say hurt. “I am in love with you, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and I’m sorry for that.”

 

I’d never been punched in the stomach before, but now I knew what it feels like. I started to pull my hand away, but inexplicably, he laced his fingers through mine. He pressed my hand tighter into his chest.

 

“What do you mean there’s nothing you can do about it? Why would you tell me—” I peeled my eyes away from his and sought for anywhere else to look. Anywhere except complete heartbreak that took over my life inside two seconds.

 

He tilted his head until I was forced to look into those blue eyes again. “I needed to be honest with you, Savannah.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I … It … it’s the right thing to do. To be honest.” His eyebrows pulled together again, as if what he was telling me was an absolute truth—even when it meant shattering someone’s heart.

 

“How long?” I finally managed to disentangle my hand from his and crossed my arms over my chest as I wrapped the sheet around me.

 

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