No Attachments

chapter 4: The Decision

Nathan

Going to the store had been a mistake. I'd woken up this morning with the plan to call the client, but as I was showering, I couldn't shake Ashton's image from my mind. Against my better judgment, I decided to head to the small store where she worked. There was no reason to go. I had all the information I needed to end the case. I just wanted to get a glimpse of her one last time before I walked away. It was a purely selfish move, but I figured no one would get hurt. My client would have to wait a little longer for Ashton's location, but a few hours never killed anyone.

Feeling jittery from my decision to put off the call, I decided to walk to the store rather than drive to clear my mind. The air outside had a crispness that wouldn't be felt in Florida until mid-December. It was actually a pleasure to walk outside without sweating my ass off from humidity, and had me contemplating whether I should hang up my scuba gear and head north. I'd miss diving, but the trade-off might be worth it. I'd lived in the same city in Florida all my life, and only stayed out of habit. When I was younger, I had lived in a small one-story house with my parents, though I don't really remember it. The summer I turned seven, my a*shole father flipped my life upside down when he decided he liked nailing his secretary better than living with us. My mom was too proud and hurt over his betrayal to take his money. The bills had piled up and eventually we were forced to leave the house behind. My grandparents welcomed us into their house, but it was way too small, even for four people. It was only for a short time anyway, while my mom scrimped and saved every cent she could. A small inheritance from a distant aunt added to our nest egg and finally, she was able to buy a single-wide trailer for us to live in. I was young enough to find the move to the trailer park exciting and different than our old neighborhood that was mostly made up of grouchy elderly couples. There were plenty of kids to play with, and during the summer, the trailer park opened the community pool. I was in hog heaven. It would be years later that I would realize how hard it had been on my mom to lose our house.

Living in a trailer did have its downfalls. It seemed every time we turned around something needed to be repaired. The repairs always seemed to set Mom's teeth on edge, but it was the Florida storms that worried her the most. During hurricane season she would watch the TV incessantly all hours of the night any time there was a storm brewing over the ocean. When I was ten, I asked her why we lived in a trailer and not a house if storms worried her so much. Her eyes had filled with tears before she swallowed hard and sat me down.

"I bought this trailer because that's all the money I had. I wanted something that was ours. No one will ever be able to take this from us. We will never be without a home again," she'd told me with steel in her voice. At that moment, I hated my lying sack of shit father more than anything. He took away the one thing that meant the most to her. I swore at that moment I would one day buy her a house just like the one she had lost. That day never came. She died three weeks before my twenty-third birthday. Not long after Jessica had torn my world to shreds. Within days, I had lost the two women I had loved—one from betrayal and the other from the irresponsible teenager who decided to run a red light.

I pushed the memories back to the far recesses of my mind. Now was not the time to get sentimental over memories that were best forgotten. I didn't want to remember how my mom had worked herself to the bone to provide for me, too proud to ever take money from my prick of a father.

By the time I made it to the general store, my past was locked away in the vault where it belonged. One solitary car sat forlorn in the dusty lot when I reached the store. I recognized it instantly as the one that had been parked in front of Ashton's cottage when I dropped her off the night before. Pushing the door open, I convinced myself that seeing her one last time would give me the closure I needed before reporting her whereabouts.

Of course, the little head took over again and rose to the occasion as soon as I laid eyes on Ashton bent over, stacking cans. My eyes traced the rounded curves of her ass and down a pair of perfectly-sculpted legs. I wanted nothing more than to put my hands on her hips and pull her flush against the part of me that was hard with arousal. When I left the store fifteen minutes later, I was in physical pain. I couldn't remember a time I'd ever wanted a woman as much as I wanted her. She was every bit, if not more enticing than she'd been the night before. Without the alcohol to loosen her up, she had blushed as red as a sunburn when I had teased her about her memory lapse from the previous evening. I could have stood there all day talking to her, but eventually, what had started as playful banter had escalated to downright lust. Dragging her delicate earlobe into my mouth was almost my undoing, and I had to force myself to walk away from her before I hauled her up in my arms and took what she'd offered so willingly the night before.

It took the entire walk back to the hotel for everything she instigated in my body to return to normal. Once my mind was able to focus on something other than what it would feel like sliding into her, I made a decision: Forget my rules this time and make her mine. We would do the deed once and the hunger would be abated. The magnetic pull she had over me would disappear, and I would complete the job I was hired for. I just needed to work her out of my system, then I'd turn her over and she would cease to be my concern after that. I felt more in control once I had the plan worked out in my head, despite the small voice that told me I was full of shit.