Katie remains fixed in place, her head tilted back, her ponytail falling so it hits the middle of her back. I take a step forward, possessed by an urge I can’t control. I want to get closer. Close enough to touch her. Smell her . . .
She turns and I freeze, my lungs seizing, but she doesn’t look behind her. Instead she approaches the low wall that surrounds the park until she’s standing against it, her arms braced on the concrete ledge.
Don’t go in there. You’re putting yourself at risk. You’re not ready yet. Why are you even here? Why are you all alone?
The thoughts race through my mind as I wait for her to make another move. If I could go to her, I would. If I could tell her she shouldn’t go inside, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’d take her by the arm and steer her away from this place.
She suddenly reaches for her small purse, pulling her phone out of it and pressing it to her ear. I hear her hello carry on the wind, spearing straight through me, and for the briefest moment I close my eyes.
Imagining that she’s saying hello to me.
I tell myself I shouldn’t listen in on her conversation. It’s an invasion of privacy. A violation, and this girl—she’s been violated numerous times. An unimaginable number, and all at the hands of my father. His violation ended when I took her out of that storage shed, but the effects of what he’s done still linger.
Memories may fade, but they never really go away.
But I’ve already taken it this far. Following her. All in the name of protection. It’s my duty after all. A job she gave me long, long ago. I’m her protector. Her guardian angel. She said so herself and I made a promise.
A promise I refuse to break.
“You will kill me if I tell you where I am,” I hear her say, and I wonder who she’s talking to. There’s no man in her life. That much I’ve figured out through my thorough investigation, though I believed her when she said it on national TV.
Maybe it’s her mother. Or her sister, or possibly a close friend. Any one of them would freak out if they knew where she was. I’m freaking out and I’m right here with her. I could save her, if need be. Interfere if I have to.
“I need to do this, Brenna.” Her sister. A pause and I take a step forward, wanting to hear more, needing to hear more. “Brenna, stop. Listen to me. I know what I’m doing. I have to face my fears sometime, right?”
Another pause, her entire body tensing as she stands up straighter. She doesn’t like what she’s hearing. “You did what? Mom is tracking my phone? Are you serious? Oh my God, how old do you think I am? You two can’t shelter me forever.”
She starts to turn and so do I, pivoting away from her, not wanting her to see me. I face the other direction and start walking, my steps measured, hands in my pockets like I’ve got all the time in the world. A breeze washes over me, tangy with salt and something darker, almost rotten. It ruffles my hair, whistles against my ears, and I curl my hands into fists. Wishing I could look back, refusing to look back. Conflicted as usual, but I don’t want to make her suspicious.
It just about fucking kills me, but I keep walking, slowing my pace, relaxing my stance until finally, finally I glance over my shoulder.
To find she’s gone.
I should’ve never guzzled that large soda at lunch. Now I had to pee so bad, but I didn’t want to leave the line for the roller coaster. We’d been standing there for the last thirty minutes and it was moving at a snail’s pace. Not that Sarah minded. She’d been flirting with the boys standing behind us practically the entire time.
It’s like she turned into a different person when she was around the male species. I didn’t like it. I was uncomfortable enough, hanging out around older boys. And these boys were definitely older. They were all going to be sophomores in high school with the exception of one, who was a year younger.
Sarah and I were going into the eighth grade. We were babies compared to these guys, but she didn’t care. She loved practicing her flirting skills on anyone she could find.
She was mad at me for not flirting along with her, so her back was completely to me as she constantly flipped her hair over her shoulder and laughed at every stupid thing they said. And they said plenty of stupid things, their laughter extra loud, causing other people in line to look our way. They thought they were hilarious but I rolled my eyes more often than not, their lame jokes grating on my nerves.
I hopped from one foot to the other, trying to ignore the pressure against my bladder, but it was no use. I was going to burst if I didn’t find a bathroom and since I wasn’t in the mood for utter humiliation, I figured I needed to go now. I touched Sarah’s arm and she whirled around, her eyes narrowed, the smile on her face false.