“He was here. I saw him,” I mumbled, trying to put into words the thoughts running through my mind.
“Babe, no one is here. It’s just me. Take some deep breaths for me.” I gripped his arm needing something to anchor myself. His hand came up and gently caressed the side of my face and I leaned into him. “Just breathe, Ella.” I took his advice and let the air pass through me, trying to release the tension with every exhale. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I must have fallen asleep,” I whispered. “I was just looking over the sales reports and I think I dozed off.”
“Were you dreaming about Kyle?”
I shook my head. “No, it was the shooter, the guy in the hoodie.” I let out one last breath and I felt exhausted. “He was in the store this time, not outside.” Porter’s brow furrowed and I knew he was upset by the situation. When Kyle died, most of the threat went away, but there was still one last loose end just floating around—the shooter. According to Kyle, he was just some kid he’d hired, so chances were that he wasn’t really after me, just doing a job. The police urged us not to be afraid. The shooter didn’t have an agenda against me, and since Kyle was dead, he didn’t have any reason to come back to finish at what he’d failed at—killing me. But, understandably, I was having a hard time not fearing the man who shot me that was still free.
Also understandably, Porter was not happy the shooter was roaming around Portland a free man. There was nothing either of us could do about it. I lived every day trying not to think about it, because I could drive myself crazy. But being here, in this store, on this couch, was obviously too much for my mind.
“What time is it?”
“Nearly five. I was just coming to get you to go to your parents’ house. Are you still feeling up to it?” The back of his hand was still running along my cheek.
“Yeah, I’m ok.”
“Ella, it’s ok if you’re not. We can just go home and tell them another day.”
I shook my head. “No, I want to tell them tonight. I’m fine.” I wasn’t fine, but I would be. I wouldn’t let this control me. I couldn’t.
The past few days were a roller coaster. Ella was up and down. She was constantly trying to pretend like she was ok, but I knew she wasn’t. The dream she’d had at Poppy really dragged her down and she struggled. I could feel it.
She’d put on a brave face for her parents that evening, and I loved her even more for it. Watching her mom and dad realize they were going to be grandparents was an awesome moment. She held my hand and slid the ultrasound picture across the table to her mother over dessert. Her mom looked at the picture, then looked up at Ella, and must have looked back and forth a hundred times before she finally muttered a frantic, “Is this what I think it is?” Tears were in Susan’s eyes as well as Ella’s and all Ella could do was nod her head, lip trembling, chin quivering. I looked at her dad and he looked like someone had told him he’d won a million dollars—pure joy and elation.
Her parents stood and hugged us both, her dad holding on to her for so long I wondered if he’d ever let her go.
It was perfect.
Then her mom took her into the office and they started looking at nursery decoration ideas on some website about thumbtacks or some such nonsense. It was a distraction for Ella—one that, at that moment, she’d desperately needed.
We both arrived in Lincoln City late the night before and went straight to bed. When I woke it was to sunlight streaming into the large windows that faced the ocean. The room was bathed in soft white light, but even the sunshine couldn’t remove the dark circles that were painted under Ella’s eyes. She looked exhausted even as she slept. She hadn’t mentioned having any more nightmares, but it was obvious the sleep she was getting wasn’t doing her much good.
I rolled towards her, completely satisfied to just take her in, to watch her in a state a peacefulness. To see her relaxed was something of a rare occurrence these days. My eyes moved over the blonde hair fanned out across her pillow, the way her hands were tightly tucked in under her cheek, the way her shoulders moved with every breath she took in.
I must have dozed off because I startled when I felt something move against my face. I opened my eyes and met her dazzling blue ones. Her hand ran along my jaw, smoothing over the roughness of my skin, unshaved for a few days now.
“Did you wake up to watch me sleep?” She asked, a knowing smile on her face.
“How did you know?”