Need You Tonight

ELEVEN





Kade gripped the steering wheel as he guided the car south, leaving the city behind them. He should’ve been enjoying the car ride. He had a beautiful, panty-less woman next to him. But Tessa had no idea how much anger was still bubbling in his veins. He was sick with it. When he’d walked up to her and heard that disgusting excuse for a human, Doug Barrett, talking to Tessa like she was some dog, Kade had wanted to reach through the phone, grab the guy by his thick neck, and strangle him.

Even Barrett’s voice still made everything turn to icy rage inside him. He thought he’d blocked that smarmy voice from his head, but as soon as Kade had put the phone to his ear, he’d been transported back in time. He’d wanted to let everything he’d ever wanted to say to Doug from all those years ago pour out. But this wasn’t about the past. This was about protecting Tessa.

And there was no way he was going to stand by and let Doug tear her down like that. Tessa had protested that it wasn’t really abuse. Bull-f*cking-shit. Kade had experienced the wrath of words from his stepfather, that systematic breakdown of every sense of your confidence and self-worth. That could damage more than fists. Knowing that Tessa had shirked it off as “how Doug is” made Kade want to tie her down and flog some sense into her. He recognized the irony of that urge, but it didn’t prevent it from coming to the surface.

“Where are we going?” Tessa asked, breaking him from his stream of thought and reminding him that he shouldn’t be thinking about anyone but her right now.

He glanced over at her, the orange of the streetlights streaking across her face as they merged onto the highway. In the darkness of the car, he could almost see her as she was all those years ago. Young. Lost. Surrounded by people but alone. Like he’d been. Maybe they hadn’t changed as much as he’d thought. “Not too far.”

She turned back toward the window, the suburbs now blurring into the darkness. “I grew up not far from here.”

Me, too. But he couldn’t tell her that yet. “Is that what made you come back to Dallas after the divorce?”

She peeked over at him with a small smile. “Yes and no. I came here because I knew I could count on Sam to give me a place to crash for a while. And honestly, I was a little freaked out at the thought of living alone. I’d never done that. But I didn’t know if I would stay. I don’t have any family here or anything. But once I was back, I felt . . . better. Like I was supposed to be here, so I eventually got my own place. Sounds kind of ridiculous, right?”

“Nah, I think there’s always something comforting about the town where you grew up. Even if the years you spent there weren’t the happiest ones, it’s like a place seeps into your blood. I’ve seen some beautiful cities in the world, but nothing feels quite like home.”

“So you grew up in Dallas, then?”

He pulled onto a barely there side road. If its location hadn’t been seared into his muscle memory, he would’ve never been able to find it in the dark. “No, T-t-tess. I grew up right outside it. Just like you.”

He gritted his teeth at the verbal tic. God, was driving down this road with Tessa like driving back in time? First Doug, now this. Was all his old shit going to rise up and take him under? But the way he stuttered Tess seemed to register with her, and she pulled in a breath. Her focus darted from his face to the tree-choked dirt road. If she was harboring any fears about him being a sociopath or something, now would be when she would freak out. Dark road. Alone with some stranger. But instead she braced her hands on the dashboard and leaned forward, squinting at the clearing in front of them as if to verify she was seeing it for real.

“Kade, how do you know about . . .” Even in the dark he could see her pulse thumping hard at her throat. “Kade.”


She turned to him then, her gaze roving over him—every feature, every nuance. He could almost hear it all snap into place for her, like elastic popping her memory into action. He pulled the car into a spot between the trees and cut the engine, bracing for her reaction.

“Kaden?” she whispered, so many emotions crossing her face he couldn’t pick a dominant one.

And at that simple question, all the confidence he carried around with him day to day fell away. He felt awkward and tense and unsure. “Hey, Tess.”

1996

“Where the heck is this place? I seriously feel like we’re about to star in a teen slasher movie,” Tessa said as branches started to poke at her from the open window. She reached out to roll up the window.

Kaden grinned. “B-b-better hope you’re a v-v-virgin then. That’s the only ones who survive crazed killers in the woods.”

Her jaw fell open and she shoved him in the arm. She could already feel the blush heating her face. “Ohmigod, I cannot believe you just said that.”

He shrugged, but his grin remained in place leaving him looking as unapologetic as possible. “What? I didn’t ask y-y-you if you were a virgin. Just reciting the rules of h-h-horror.”

She harrumphed and crossed her arms over her chest, secretly enjoying that she and Kaden had developed some weird sort of bond over the last few weeks where they could talk about anything. Not being friends in “real life” seemed to open up the honesty gates. “You know, you haven’t stuttered all afternoon. And now you start talking about virginity and you’re all tongue-tied. You’re trying to tease me but making yourself nervous, so joke’s on you.”

He glanced her way as he cut the engine. “And you’re beet red.”

“So.” She pulled her compact out of her purse and hurriedly dusted her nose with powder, trying to cover up her flushed state.

“So, we’re even. And now I know I’ll be safe studying out here. Chainsaw guy will go after you first. You’re prime bait and m-m-much prettier.”

She straightened at that and snapped her compact shut. “You did not just call me the sacrificial slut.”

He laughed as he pushed open his door and climbed out. She scrambled to follow him. But by the time she got out of the car, he was already making his way to a little cabin that sat at the edge of a clearing of trees. She hitched her book bag over her shoulder and hurried to catch up.

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Jump to Conclusions, that I would be safe as a lamb in those movies. Just because you think you know—”

He turned abruptly, surprising her and causing her to stumble into him. He grabbed her arm, keeping her upright, and nailed her to the spot with his gaze. “Good.”

“What?”

“I’m glad you haven’t. That prick doesn’t deserve that from y-y-you. Wait for b-b-better.”

Her lips pressed together, and she shrugged her arm from his hold. “I hate when you do that. You don’t even know him. If you did, you’d know that it was his decision to wait because of his religion. He’s being a gentleman.”

Something hateful flashed through Kaden’s blue eyes, but instead of saying what he was thinking, he turned away to head toward the cabin again.

“Oh, no, don’t hold back now, Kaden.” She stalked after him. “Say what you were about to. I can take it.”

“No. It d-d-doesn’t matter.” He unlocked the big padlock that was securing the cabin and shoved the door open with a loud creak. The rickety wood banged against the wall.

She followed him in, dropping her bag by the door and then kicking it closed behind her. Dread was curling in her like smoke. She probably didn’t need to hear whatever it was that he had to say, but she couldn’t stop herself from demanding to know. “Tell me.”

He whirled around and tossed his school bag onto a worn brown leather couch. “If you think Doug’s a gentleman, then he’s an even better liar than I thought.”

She crossed her arms, prepared to argue, but Kaden wasn’t finished.

“He’s feeding you a line of b-bullshit because it’s what you want to hear. You don’t see past the preppy, golden boy mask. None of you do. Oh, look he can throw a ball and drives a BMW and is soooo dreamy,” he said, using a mocking girly voice. “I’m in the locker room with these dudes. There’s nothing golden about any of them. You know what they talked about last week—including your gentlemanly boyfriend? How many b-b-blow jobs they scored at Tyler Brogan’s house party. Apparently, Delia Johnson from Harmoor High has the brightest and longest-lasting lipstick. Hard to wash off.”

Everything inside Tessa went cold. She’d missed that party because her foster parents gave her a ridiculous ten o’clock curfew. But Doug had said it had turned out to be lame anyway. “It’s just talk. Doug’s friends—”

Kaden scoffed. “Right. His friends. He’s the knight in shining armor amongst all the a*sholes he hangs around with. Sure. You g-g-go on believing that.”

“You don’t understand,” she said, hearing the feeble protest in her voice. “We haven’t slept together because Doug’s been the one to keep things that way. I’ve never told him no. If he wanted . . . any of that, he could’ve had it. From me.”

Kaden’s expression darkened, and he crossed the room. He stopped just short of her personal space, pushing his too long hair behind his ears and looking down at her with pleading eyes. “Don’t, Tess. There’s better out there. W-w-wait for that.”

Her throat constricted, an unfamiliar feeling welling in her. Usually when she looked at Kaden, she had a number of urges—to cut his hair shorter, to put him in clothes that didn’t make him look like such an outsider, to make him take a breath so he wouldn’t stumble on his words. But right now, she had a hard time focusing on all the things she wanted to change about him. In fact, in this moment, she kind of didn’t want to change one single thing—particularly the way he was looking at her.

“Kaden . . .” It was all she could say. She couldn’t remember the rest of her intended reply.

But saying his name broke the spell. He shook his head and turned away. “This is my stepdad’s hunting cabin. He never uses it anymore, so no one will see us here. And this will be quieter than trying to study with Gibson and my stepdad lurking around. Get your chapter questions out for the next test. We should have an hour or so before it gets too dark out here.”

She swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her ears. This was getting dangerous. She wasn’t supposed to be thinking anything about Kaden or wishing that he hadn’t walked away. He was the exact kind of guy she could never let herself be interested in. Her foster dad would take one look at Kaden with his long hair and black clothes and declare him a devil worshipper or something. But even knowing that, she couldn’t help the next question that fell from her mouth. “Did you wait for someone special?”

The question was loud in the dead silent cabin. Kaden’s back was to her, but she didn’t miss the way he stiffened. Finally, he sighed and sank onto the couch, his expression resigned when he looked up. “We both know I’m going to be safe from serial k-k-killers for a long time.”

“Kaden,” she said, frowning at his bitter tone and sitting in the chair across from him. “You’re going to find—”

“D-d-don’t.” He moved his attention to pulling his books out of his bag. “Let’s not play that game. We’re sitting in a cabin in the middle of the freaking woods because you can’t even be seen with me in public without risking your sparkly Ms. Popularity status getting revoked. No matter w-w-what I do, no one in that school will ever see me as anything other than the former fat kid with the stuttering problem. That label’s been applied with super glue and you know it.”

“It’s so stupid,” she said, twisting the silver promise ring Doug had given her round and round on her finger. “No one looks past the surface. At my last school, I wasn’t this. It was a private school with kids from families with stupid wealth. I’m talking the kind of money that would make Doug’s dad look middle class. All the cliques had been together since nursery school. When people found out I was a foster kid, I was viewed as the freak. Rumors went around that I’d been sexually abused. So, of course, that got translated into everyone saying I must be easy because I had issues. The family that was fostering me decided those rumors must be true since I started hanging out with the smoking behind the bleachers crowd, and they ended my placement because I was a bad influence on their younger children. Tessa McAllen, the very first virgin slut at your service.”

He stared at her a little wide-eyed. “Seriously?”

She pulled her ponytail tighter, surprised she was even admitting all this. She’d never told anyone about her life before here. “When I moved in with the Ericsons, I decided to become someone totally different so I wouldn’t get moved again. They wanted an obedient, church-going good girl. And so I am.”


“Even if that’s not who you really are?”

She shrugged. “I don’t even know what parts of me are real anymore. But life has been a lot easier since I came here, so I don’t plan on going back to the other version.”

“The v-v-version that would’ve hung out with someone like me.”

She sighed at his snide tone. “I am hanging out with you.”

“No, Tess, I’m tutoring you while we hide from your friends. There’s a b-b-big difference.”

“You make me sound like such a shallow bitch.”

He lifted an eyebrow as if to say if the shoe fits.

“You just don’t get it. In a year, you’ll get to go to college where all this popularity crap won’t matter.”

“And so will you.”

“No. I won’t. My grades aren’t strong enough to get a scholarship, and when I turn eighteen, my time with the Ericsons is done. There is no college fund waiting for me.”

A wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows. “What do you mean your time is done?”

She pulled her legs onto the chair, tucking them underneath her. “They foster hard-to-place older kids. As soon as I graduate, they’ll foster someone else. I’ll get a little financial aid from the state, but not enough to manage anything more than community college while working a full-time job.”

Kaden looked stricken at this revelation. And she supposed someone like him, the honor student who would have scholarship offers stacking up from everywhere, probably hadn’t considered the possibility that not everyone gets to go off to a big college. “Is that what your plan is?”

She looked down at her hands. “Sort of. Doug’s going to go to Georgia Tech. He said I can follow him there and . . . stay with him. I wouldn’t have to worry about the money stuff then. I could take some classes there.”

There was a long stretch of silence then a groan.

“Motherf*cker,” Kaden said, standing up. “That’s it, isn’t it? The reason you stay with him. His goddamned money.”

Defensiveness surged through her, bringing her to her feet to face him. “No. I love him.” Possibly. Maybe.

Kaden stepped around the coffee table in two swift movements and was in front of her in a flash. “Bull. Shit.”

She reared up like he’d slapped her. “You don’t know anything about how I feel.”

“No, b-b-but I’m about to f-f-find out.”

The increase in stuttering should’ve tipped her off to what he was about to do, but she was completely unprepared for it. Kaden’s hands cupped her face and tilted it upward. He stared at her for a second, maybe giving her a chance to stop him, but she couldn’t form a thought. Then his mouth was against hers.

She lifted her palms to his thrift store Doors T-shirt, intending to push him away. But instead, as he moved his lips over hers, she found her fingers curling into the worn material and holding onto it like a life raft. Despite his grip on her, the kiss wasn’t demanding or aggressive. And it wasn’t sloppy like Doug’s. It was soft and sweet and . . . perfect.

His hands dropped to her waist and drew her closer. All thoughts fell away, her whole being suspended in the moment. There was nothing outside of this. No worries about the future or friends or temporary families. Just hands and lips and feeling. Only when his tongue moved against hers and her body went hot did reality come reeling back into place. She stepped back in a rush, his T-shirt slipping from her fingers.

“Stop,” she gasped. “We can’t.”

“Tess—” The yearning on Kaden’s face almost did her in.

But this was wrong. So wrong. She had a boyfriend. And Kaden was . . . who he was. And if anyone ever found out . . . Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. “I need you to take me home.”

“Tessa, p-p-please, wait, let’s talk.”

She grabbed her book bag with jerky movements, her hands shaking, and turned to head to the door. “I need to go.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t m-m-mean—”

She whirled around, fiery emotion bubbling over the top of the lid she was trying to keep closed. “No? What did you m-m-mean, then, huh? Jesus, what were you thinking?”

His jaw tightened, and she instantly regretted her hateful mocking.

“Kaden—”

But he didn’t wait for her apology. He yanked his bag off the couch, hauled it over his shoulder, and strode past her, saying on the way, “At least now we know you’re not just pretending to be like them.”