Baodan cast his eyes downward, ashamed and guilty. “Aye, o’ course ye wouldna. Still, I will be the one to see her safely to the Camerons.”
Eoghanan stood, speaking with his back toward the rest of the table as he exited the room. “As ye wish. I’m retiring for the evening. I’ll come down in the morning to bid ye both farewell before ye leave.”
Once Eoghanan left, Baodan faced Niall whose dark hair hung loosely in his face, covering his dark eyes. He knew Niall expected what he meant to ask him. “Can I count on ye to stay here and run things while I am away? To keep an eye on Eoghanan?”
“Aye, ye know that I will.”
“There is no need for ye to watch Eoghanan. Ye have punished him for too long.” His mother’s words shocked him nearly as much as her sudden decision to leave their home.
He wouldn’t allow himself to speak angrily to her, but he couldn’t sit there while she defended him. “Why doona ye go up to yer bedchamber? I will send someone to help ye gather yer belongings. I need to be out of doors.”
Not giving her a chance to respond, Baodan moved quickly from the room. It was a beautiful night, and he wished to sit out by the pond, to stare in it with hopes that its rippling surface would help some of his bitterness drift away.
*
Baodan kicked off his boots as he reached the water’s edge, grinning as one of the leather footings splashed into the water. Perhaps, part of him had kicked it into the water on purpose. It was a pleasant summer evening, hot for Scotland. Although it was never good to have a wet shoe, it gave him the perfect excuse to go for a swim.
He glanced around to ensure that he wouldn’t be revealing himself to any castle maids or female servants and, finding the pond and surrounding area empty, swiftly stripped down and dove into the chilly water.
The water proved a balm to his skin and soul, instantly relieving his flustered spirit and angry mind. He reached the shoe quickly, throwing it onto the shore to begin the slow process of drying before diving beneath the water’s surface once more.
He swam as if racing, moving his arms in and out of the water, bobbing his head up and down as fast as he could manage. With each gasp of breath he pushed himself harder, each stroke of his arms helping to push away his worries and resentment of things past and present. He was in his element, his favorite place in the world, and only when his fingers and toes were wrinkled and freezing from being too long in the water did he feel most at peace in the world.
He found it now, as all worries washed away with each stroke. Dreamlike described the joy he felt as he pushed himself forward in the water, eyes closed to what lay before him.
The dream ended abruptly as he kicked himself forward and the corner of a rock tore its way into his flesh. He knew the pond well, but he’d gotten carried away, forgetting all about the patch of rocks that lay beneath the surface of the pond’s center.
He knew it bled, the sting of the water’s touch told him that much. Breathing between gritted teeth, he stroked his way back to the shore, crawling out onto the grass to check his injured foot. It wasn’t a bad cut and would heal quickly although it would be sore for at least a few days.
Baodan leaned back onto his elbows and stared out across the black pond, only lit by the full moon hanging high above him. He was a good swimmer. Good thing too. If he hadn’t been, it was likely that Blaire Conall would have drowned the day he found her unconscious in the freezing ocean only a little over a year ago.
Thoughts of that day drifted away as he laughed softly to himself, thinking of his throbbing foot. His life seemed to be much like his unexpected cut. The times when things seemed most peaceful everything usually fell apart.
It happened with his late wife, although only his family knew what had truly happened to her. Everyone else believed she’d fallen ill, taken quickly by a fast progressing illness. In Baodan’s mind, it wasn’t all that far from the truth.
They’d only just married, and he thought himself so in love with her that she occupied his every thought, but he couldn’t help but see the change in her shortly after they married. She grew dark and unhappy, miserable. She stopped speaking to him, and would hardly leave her bed. She waged battles within herself, and he knew of no way to help her.
During one of her darkest spells, he was forced to leave for a fortnight to help a man acquire a piece of land. He left her in Eoghanan’s care, and his brother swore to watch after her.
The night he returned to the castle, Baodan found her hanging out one of the castle windows. Eoghanan claimed to have fallen so ill he couldn’t move from his bed only hours before she killed herself.