Mary whacked the wooden spoon she was using to stir the stew hard against the table, “And what of it if I find him to be a fine looking man? There’s no harm in looking at him when he passes by. I dare either one of ye to spend forty-five years married to Kip and see if ye doona find other lads pleasing to the eye. Kip does the same thing, and I’ll no be one to deny him the pleasure of doing so.”
Adelle walked around the table and tugged on the sleeve of me dress as if requesting that I accompany her. “Right you are, Mary. It’s healthy to recognize beauty when you see it. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t green with envy over my daughter’s new husband. They just simply stop making men like that within the next few centuries.”
I laughed and brushed me hands against each other to rid themselves of the remaining pieces of herbs. “I’ll be back shortly, Mary, to help plate the meal for supper.”
Mary nodded and turned her attention back to the stew. “Aye, that will be fine, lass. Ye know that ye doona have to be down here cooking away with me anyway. I appreciate yer help.”
Once we were outside the basement kitchen, I noticed the folded piece of parchment Adelle concealed in her hands. Flashing it before me, she waved it in the direction of the stairs. Grabbing a lantern outside the kitchen door, we walked halfway down the flight of stairs before stopping to sit down on the steps next to one another.
“This came for you this morning. I saw the messenger riding in and went to greet him before nosier eyes saw it.”
I could no repress an eye roll as I reached in the direction of the parchment. “As if ye are no the nosiest person in all of the keep, Adelle?”
“Well, I’ll not disagree with you, but would you rather have Eoin gotten it? It’s from Arran.”
Me heart thumped painfully at the mention of his name, and I found that me hands were shaking as I snatched his letter from her hand. “I suppose ye will be waiting until I share what’s inside of it with ye?”
Adelle nodded and grinned widely. “What kind of a question is that? Of course I will be waiting.”
It took me no time to read the contents of his letter. It contained only a few lines of his jagged script. “He wants me to meet him at a cottage he says is near the castle grounds. I doona believe I’ve been there before.” I paused, unsure how to express how I truly felt over his request. “I doona know if I should go.”
Adelle sat quietly a moment as if she were thinking over the best advice to give me. “Do you want to see him, Blaire?”
The words slipped out easily without hesitation. “Aye, o’course I do. I miss him every moment that I am no with him. But he is married, and I doona wish to make him break those vows.”
Adelle reached over and squeezed my hand gently. “You are making him do nothing. Would you like to hear my opinion? I’ll only give it if you wish it.”
I nodded, enjoying the feeling of her hand around mine. I’d been small when me mother passed away, and Adelle was the closest thing I’d ever had to a mother. “Aye, I wish it greatly.”
“I don’t know how wise it would be for you to listen to an old, modern heathen like myself, so take what I have to say to you as you would a grain of salt. Relationships are far less black and white than some people wish to make them appear. There are some instances when life causes us to make decisions we wish we didn’t have to make, but those things should not be used as an excuse to deny ourselves happiness. Arran’s marriage to Edana was one of those decisions.” She hesitated, seemingly unsure of how to say what she wanted. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Perhaps. Ye believe I should meet him, aye?”
She nodded slowly, squeezing me hand more tightly before standing. “If you want to, then yes. Don’t deny yourself moments of joy with the one you love. It is Arran’s decision to make, and it seems he has made his by asking you to meet him. Guilt is a useless emotion. Do as your heart wishes. You will regret it when you’re older if you do not.”
She started back up the steps, leaving me alone in the stairwell as I called up to her. “Thank ye, Adelle. I’m no sure if ye helped me at all, but I appreciate yer words nonetheless.”
Adelle stopped at the top step and laughed loudly. “I didn’t imagine that I would help much. I’m not very good at advice. Ask Bri. She’ll vouch to the truth in that. She was always more of a mother to me than I was to her. My point is, I regret the things that I didn’t do more than the things I did. And believe me, I was a wild child in my younger years. There weren’t many things that I didn’t do.”
With that, she turned and left. I continued to sit in the stairwell, allowing the candle inside the small lantern to burn away as I gripped tightly to Arran’s written words.
Adelle was right. Even if it was the last night I could ever spend with him, I would regret no seeing him more than I would regret the guilt of our time spent in each other’s arms. Besides, I’d promised him already. If he sent for me, I would come.
Chapter 27
Conall Cottage