He restrained. His lips were eager, yet reserved. His body was tight as a bow string as he waited for me to either send him away or invite him into me arms. The decision was mine, and in that instant I could see the future that lay ahead of me, one of solitude. Arran and I couldna be together in the way we both desired, as husband and wife. But our love needed to be validated, to be expressed in such a way that we could both hold on to the memory that our hearts belonged to one another even as we made our way through life apart. I couldna deny meself one night of the presence of his love.
“Arran,” I whispered his name softly, opening me fists so that the palms of me hands rested against his chest. It was enough to make him pull away and await me decision. His eyes were red and heavy, glassy and moist with unshed tears. He lifted his head away but kept a tight grip on me wrists, silently pleading with me to give him the permission both of us yearned for.
“Aye, lass?” His voice was dry and cracked as the words struggled to find their way out of him.
“I know the truth of what yer marriage means for us, but I doona have the strength to walk away from ye this night. Please Arran, tonight allow me to love ye.”
He crushed his mouth to mine, his arms moving around me as he released me wrists and pulled me hard against him. I moved me hands up to the sides of his face, running me fingers through his hair as I heard him swallow a hard lump in the back of his throat.
I rubbed me thumb gently across his cheek, pausing as I touched a droplet of wetness that quickly found its way onto me tongue, its salty bite bringing tears to me own eyes. I’d known him all of my life, and I’d never seen him cry.
I pulled me lips away from his, moving upward as I kissed the tiny corner on the inside of his eye from which the tear had fallen. He pulled away, rubbing his hands quickly over his face as he smiled, embarrassed that his tear has been seen. “I’m sorry, lass. What a fool I must look to ye.”
I cupped either side of his face and kissed him gently. “Ye are no a fool. Ye are the man I love, and if I shall burn in hell for it, I shall have ye this night. If ye shall have me as well?”
I felt him smile against me mouth as his whispered, warm breath tickled my cheek. “Aye, I shall have ye, lass. Over and over again, tonight ye shall be mine alone.” He paused in between words, roaming his lips over me face as he kissed me brows, me cheekbones, me chin. “I have been a frozen shell since ye left, Blaire. “Tis only in this moment as I feel the warmth of yer skin beneath me mouth that I feel me heart begin to thaw. Now, let me kiss the rest of ye, every bit, so that yer warmth and light may finally melt away me frigid coat and make me whole again.”
His fingers moved to me laces, and as I shut me eyes reveling in the feeling of his fingertips against me skin, I felt me dress fall away. I’d never stood naked in front of a man but, rather than fear, warmth rushed over me as I watched his hungry eyes roam, filled with adoration and love at me bare body.
“God, Blaire. Ye canna know how beautiful ye are.”
He pushed open the stall door behind him, and I moved past him into the empty stable. There was no hay, and the stable was freshly swept as I stood nervously, me back toward him as I waited for him to proceed. I could hear him shedding his kilt, and before I had a chance to face him, he pressed himself against me. His chest pushed against me back as he brought his hands around to cup me breasts. I moaned as he caressed me nipples, his lips planting moist kisses down the curve of me neck.
I turned into him, reaching for his head so that I could pull him down toward me. Our lips met with a heated passion, no longer restrained from our previous hesitation. The decision was made, and now we came together quickly, taking no time to explore each other’s bodies. That could come later in the night. Now, with the knowledge that we could no always be together in this way, desperation filled us. We could no bear to be apart from one another a moment more.
Our lips danced in a painful frenzy. When neither of us could stand it a moment more, Arran bent his knees, pulling me down with him so that we lay on the stable floor. I opened meself to him, only nodding as he thrust himself deep inside me. With nothing to ready me, I screamed loudly before he muffled me cry with his mouth.
The pain diminished quickly and, as we found our rhythm, the night faded away and any thought of tomorrow or yesterday was as distant as the time in the future that had separated us from each other for far too long.
Chapter 21
Arran, the fool, thought he and his whore had gone unseen, of that Tormod was certain. But the two lovers had moaned such throughout the night that even the horses in the stables had been kept awake. Tormod had kept a tight watch on the castle, waiting for anything he could use against the man who had stolen his right to be laird.
Finally, his waiting had paid off. He’d long heard of Arran Conall’s philandering ways, and a man accustomed to such varied bedfellows was unlikely to change his habits after marriage. A better partner Tormod couldn’t have dreamed up himself. For it wasn’t just any lustful whore that Arran had bedded. Arran had made his way into the stables with his brother’s wife.
It was a grand opportunity, one if which played properly, he knew he could use to destroy