What was so difficult about those words? Nothing! I’d said them to people before!
Somehow, however, they’d grown to fifty times their normal size when Logan said them. They were so big there was no way around them, and I couldn’t see anything for the hulking shadow of each damn letter.
I was frightened to say them back to him.
That night I lay in my bed, and each time I tried to force my body up and out so I could go to him next door and just blurt out the words, I was stopped by that fear.
Yet, as the next day wore on with no sign of him or Maia, the words percolated, and common sense started to punch the crap out of my fear. By the time I returned with some shopping for Mr. Jenner, I was determined to turn back out of the apartment building and find Logan.
He said those momentously large words to me first.
He made himself vulnerable to me.
He took that step without having to be asked.
And surely he was just as scared of being rejected? Of putting it out there and it all going wrong?
If Logan could be brave, then I could be brave.
Because of course I loved him.
I felt like I’d loved him forever.
I had just dumped my own food shopping in the kitchen and was hurrying back out of the flat when I heard, “Grace!”
Running up the stairs toward me, Maia was frantic, her eyes alert with panic. I hurried to her just as she reached the landing. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Dad,” she huffed, out of breath. “Shannon just called me. She’s been trying to call you. Her ex is back. The one who beat her. Dad’s gone AWOL.”
And just like that, nothing else mattered, nothing but finding Logan. I rummaged in my bag for my phone, which I’d stupidly switched to silent. Sure enough, I had a dozen missed calls from Shannon. I flicked through the numbers and hit Logan’s. “Come on, come on,” I muttered as it rang. My hopes fell as it went to voice mail. “No,” I hissed, and hung up. I rang Shannon back.
“Oh, thank God, Grace. Have you seen Logan?” she said without preamble, panic clear in her voice.
“We’re just checking the flat.” I nodded to Maia to do so, and she immediately set about unlocking Logan’s flat.
I followed her inside as she called out to him. “Shannon, what’s going on exactly?”
“My ex,” she said softly, a tremble in her voice. “Ollie. He contacted me. He’s out of prison and he’s in Edinburgh. He wants to meet me.”
“Are you bloody well kidding me?” I snapped, outraged.
“No Dad.” Maia shook her head, coming down the hall toward me.
“He’s not there,” Shannon said, obviously having heard.
“Have you checked the club?”
“That’s where I was. God, Grace, I would never have told him, but he was there. I didn’t have a class today and sometimes I take lunch to Logan when I don’t. The school admin office had a letter for me, and I opened it up in Logan’s office. It was from Ollie. When Logan saw my reaction, he snatched the letter off me before I could stop him. And then he just left and he won’t answer his phone. Oh fuck, Grace, what if he does something? I can’t let this happen to him again.” She started to cry, and there was a loud rustling sound. “Grace?” I heard Cole say. “Look, I want to murder this guy for contacting her more than anyone, but he’s not worth it. Do you have any clue where Logan is?”
I tried to breathe over my mounting fear. “There would be nowhere specific, but he knows people, Cole. He could be trying to track down Ollie. Our best bet is to try to do the same and get there first.”
“It could be too late. He’s been missing for a few hours.”
“Oh, Jesus, don’t say that… this… How is Shannon? Is she going to be okay?”
“She’s not afraid of that piece of shit anymore. She’s just afraid for Logan. I don’t know…”
His words faded for me at the sound of the front door opening, and both Maia and I spun around, relief pouring over us at the sight of a haggard Logan stepping inside the flat.
“Cole, he’s here.” I cut off whatever he had been saying. “Logan’s home.”
“Thank fuck. Is he okay? Did he do anything?”
“Dad!” Maia hurried past me and threw herself at him.
Logan immediately wrapped his arms around her, squeezing his eyes shut. I saw the strain on his face, but also the love. And I knew. “No, Cole. He didn’t do anything.” He wouldn’t jeopardize his life with Maia.
“Good. I’m coming over and I’m bringing Shannon. We need to talk.”
I agreed and hung up.
For a moment I could do nothing but stare at father and daughter, the sudden relief from such fear causing the adrenaline levels in my body to just drop. I felt exhausted.
By everything.
Maia eventually pulled back from Logan and he cupped her face, swiping her tears away. “I’m okay,” he promised her. “We’re okay.”
“Shannon thought you’d gone after that bloke.”
His jaw clenched and he shook his head.