Matchplay A New Adult Romance

Seven

Penalty Stroke

On Wednesday evening, the social clubs were celebrating their new initiates with a block party. The town let the clubs close the street for the night and people from the neighborhood and campus were invited to join in the festivities. Since my Thursday class didn’t meet until afternoon, I let Olivia and Marney talk me into going with them. Lucas tagged along with us, too.

We got to the block party around seven, which we thought was early, but the street was already packed with party-goers. The place had a carnival atmosphere with lots of food and games booths. The excitement, crowds of people and array of colors made me think of a Joan Miro painting.

Lucas moved next to me and said, “Please stick close by. I don’t want you to get lost or hurt in this crowd.” He was such a capable adopted big brother.

Marney grabbed Olivia’s hand and pulled her toward a booth that was set up for cotton candy.

“Something tells me you don’t do cotton candy,” Lucas teased.

I nodded. “You’re very perceptive.”

“I am when it comes to you.” He looked at me with a passion I hadn’t seen in him before. I quickly turned away and pointed to another booth where they were squeezing fresh orange juice. “That’s something I’d like to try,” I said as I headed toward the booth. Lucas followed.

Lucas insisted on buying juice for both of us, which was sweet but totally uncalled for. “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to buy this for me.”

He smiled. “Maybe I wanted to.”

I took a sip. “It’s delicious.”

Lucas tried his. He nodded. “It is good.”

“Looks like we lost Olivia and Marney,” Lucas observed.

I looked around. They were nowhere to be seen. “They’re good at that.”

“Come on,” Lucas said. “Care to try your hand at the ring toss? My social club is sponsoring the game. All proceeds go to support the Humane Society.”

“Sounds great.”

Lucas neglected to mention that his social club’s ring toss booth was right next to The Clubhouse’s lemonade stand. And, of course, being the president of his social club, Aaron was front and center working the stand.

As Lucas and I walked by Aaron and his friends, I heard Evan’s voice practically yelling, “Hey, Aaron, isn’t that your little friend? What’s taking you so long to score, buddy?”

When I looked at Aaron, I thought I saw some pain in his eyes but it just as quickly faded, replaced with his cool and collected façade. I turned away in disgust. I figured he was playing along because he was with all of his friends. I hoped he would defend me or our relationship, but he didn’t, which was disappointing.

I followed Lucas to The Geek Patrol’s booth. There were only a few elementary age kids playing. The sign said: Three Rings for a Dollar. I pulled two dollars from my pocket and handed them to the guy behind the booth. He took my cash and handed me six rings.

Lucas stood close to me as I attempted my first toss. I was lucky to keep the ring in the booth but it wasn’t close to landing on a bottle.

I knew when I glanced over toward Aaron, he would be staring right at me and he was. I turned away and tried my second toss. It was no better. It landed on the ground far from the bottles.

“Do you mind if I give you a hand,” Lucas asked.

“I’m not very coordinated,” I admitted.

“It’s okay.” Lucas carefully took my wrist into his hand and guided my arm in the tossing motion I

would need to score. “Just make sure you’re looking at the bottle you want to land on and make sure your arm is aimed in that direction.”

I snuck a quick glance in Aaron’s direction and noticed he was now glaring at Lucas. He looked pissed. I had told him that Lucas was a friend, like a brother, but I guess that didn’t matter.

“Now try it again,” Lucas encouraged.

This time when I tossed the ring, it was at least close to the bottle. It bounced off of one of the bottle tops.

“See, you’re getting better.” Lucas had a big grin on his face. He carefully grabbed my wrist again and showed me a little flicking motion. “Right before you release the ring, be sure to flip it liked I just showed you.”

“Okay,” I said and tried it again. When I tossed the ring, it almost landed on the bottle.

“So close,” Lucas said. “I know you’ve got this.”

When I snuck another peek at Aaron, I noticed a little blonde was hanging on his arm. When she caught sight of me looking at the two of them, she leaned up and whispered something in Aaron’s ear.

Then Aaron’s eyes locked with mine for a moment. His stare was so intense, I shuddered. I wanted to turn away from him but I couldn’t. The blonde then laughed. As she whispered something else in Aaron’s ear, he continued to stare at me. The scene was completely unsettling. I wanted to turn away but I couldn’t take my eyes off Aaron. Then the blonde went in for the kill. She reached up and kissed Aaron. He closed his eyes and kissed her back. The two of them were practically making out in the booth.

I gulped. I could feel the rings I had been holding drop from my hands. I felt like everything was happening in slow motion. I could hear Lucas say, “Rainy, are you okay?”

When the blonde girl extricated herself from Aaron’s lips, the first thing she did was turn toward me and give me an evil little grin. I saw Evan pat Aaron on the shoulder in a that-a-boy motion. The only thing I didn’t see was Aaron looking at me.

I felt like I was suddenly being crushed by the world around me. The only desire I had was to flee. I

took off running as fast as I could.

“Rainy, wait,” I could hear Lucas yell. I just hoped he wouldn’t follow me.

I had no choice but to run past The Clubhouse’s lemonade stand. I didn’t know if I was being paranoid or if I heard them laughing at me as I ran by. At that point, I didn’t care. I just kept running. I felt as if I

could just run far enough or fast enough, maybe I would disappear. I felt like such a fool. Even if Aaron did have feelings for me (and I now felt that was a big if), they weren’t strong enough for him to stand up to his friends and defend me. Saving face with his friends was obviously more important than any feelings he had for me. He made it seem as though I was nothing but a score he was trying to attain. I was done. I

had enough of Aaron and his games. Of course, I still had to see him in class and we still had to work together but I vowed to be as neutral as possible and only talk about our project.

I didn’t stop running until I was at the front door to my dorm. I was glad to see no one had followed me. If anyone had tried, they probably couldn’t have kept up with me anyway.

When I got inside my room, I finally felt like I was able to breathe again. I inhaled deeply several times before I completely broke down into uncontrollable sobbing.

About ten minutes later, I was still crying when Olivia and Lucas stormed into our room.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Olivia said as she sat down next to me. “Didn’t I tell you if you got emotionally involved with that guy it would be nothing but trouble. And here I am having to deal with your sobbing ass and a mountain of filthy tissues.”

Olivia’s sheer audacity always made me smile. “Thanks. I needed that.”

Lucas sat down on the other side of me. “Are you okay?” he asked. He was such a sweet heart. Why couldn’t I fall for him instead of Aaron?

“Thank you both for being here. I didn’t mean to ruin your fun.”

“What are friends for?” Olivia shrugged.

“Where’s Marney?” I asked.

“She has a Calculus exam tomorrow, so she had to hit the books. With all the cotton candy she ate, she’ll be on a sugar high all night.”

“That guy is such an a*shole,” Lucas muttered.

“A*shole is too nice for what he is,” Olivia added.

Olivia and Lucas both stared at me. “Please don’t tell me you still have feelings for the prick.” Olivia seemed incredulous.

“Okay. I won’t tell you.”

“You’re absolutely hopeless,” Olivia said. “But if you want to know if he really has feelings for you, you need to give him a taste of his own medicine.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Flaunt a guy in his face the way he flaunted that blonde in yours.”

“And where do I get this guy?” I asked.

Olivia turned and stared at her brother and he went wide-eyed.

“It’s perfect.” Olivia grinned. “Lucas can pretend that the two of you are going out and you can fawn all over each other for Aaron’s benefit.”

I looked at Lucas. His face was red with embarrassment. “I couldn’t do that to Lucas.”

“I don’t mind,” Lucas piped up. “I’d like to do it.”

“But why?” I asked.

Lucas picked at some imaginary lint on his shirt. “I guess because having a fake girlfriend, even for a little while, is better than having no girlfriend at all.”

I felt like crying again but this time because Lucas was breaking my heart. “You’d do that for me?” I

asked.

“I would do anything for you,” Lucas said and he looked at me with such sincerity my heart skipped a few beats.

“Then let’s plan Operation Fake Boyfriend,” I agreed.

***



I made sure to get to class early the next day for Part One of Operation Fake Boyfriend (OFB). I

removed the sunshine sticker that Aaron had given me from my test book and placed it on the table where he normally sat. Then I waited. Every week, when he strolled down the aisle past me, we always made eye contact and he winked at me. This week, things were going to be a little different. I removed a Mary Cassatt biography from my backpack and started reading. From the top of my book, I caught a glimpse of the other students walking in. When I saw Aaron enter, I made sure my nose was completely in my book so there was no chance of even an accidental glace at him on my part. I heard him walk past me and take the seat behind me. Then I heard a loud sigh. I assumed he had seen the sticker I had given back to him.

Good, I thought, Part One of the plan was now complete.

As soon as class ended, I turned to face Aaron, who was getting up from his seat. When he looked at me, his expression was grim.

“I can’t meet with you today after class,” I said matter-of-factly.

He looked like I had slapped him. “Why?”

“I have something else to do,” I said as I turned and headed out the door.

Lucas was waiting right outside the classroom just as we had planned. Phase Two of OFB was about to begin.

Lucas nodded when he saw me, which was the signal that Aaron was watching us. Go time. I walked right up the Lucas, threw my arms around him, and gave him a kiss. Lucas played his part well and kissed me back. Even if he said he didn’t have much experience in that department, he was a good kisser. I didn’t feel the same intense feelings as I did when Aaron kissed me but Lucas’s kiss was tender and warm.

When we parted from the kiss, Lucas grabbed my hand and entwined it with his. He smiled at me and we began walking toward my dorm. I knew Aaron was following us because I could feel his energy getting closer.

Aaron stormed up and blocked our path. He had fire in his eyes. I had never seen anyone so enraged.

“What’s up” Lucas said trying to remain calm.

Aaron didn’t even look at Lucas. His eyes burned into mine. “What are you doing?” he spat.

I glared at him. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Can I talk to you alone?” Aaron asked.

“Why?” I challenged.

“Please.” He now looked desperate.

“Fine.” I turned to Lucas. “I’ll meet you in my room.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Lucas asked.

I nodded.

“I’ll wait in your room,” Lucas said then he bent down and kissed my forehead.

Aaron waited for Lucas to leave before he started speaking.

“Are you sleeping with that guy?” It seemed more like an accusation than a question.

“What are you doing here, Aaron?” I countered.

“Why is he going to your room?” Aaron continued. He seemed to be going a bit crazy with jealousy.

At least I had the answer to my question about his feelings for me.

“He’s my roommate’s brother. Remember?”

That didn’t seem to appease him. “I don’t want you going out with him.”

“I don’t care,” I spat. “You don’t get to make that decision for me. We’re not a couple. Apparently, we’re not even dating. You made that perfectly clear last night.”

He gulped. Aaron Donovan was at a loss for words. That was a first.

“What are we doing, Aaron?” I asked. “I don’t want a part-time relationship; you’re only with me when you’re not with your friends. I want a real relationship with someone. I deserve to have someone, who is proud to call me his girlfriend. I want someone, who will stand up for me and stand up for us.”

I turned to leave.

“Wait,” Aaron pleaded. He reached out to grab my arm but stopped himself. He put his hands in his pockets instead. “I just want you to know the other girls don’t mean anything to me.”

“Can’t you see they mean something to me? When you do things with other girls, when you’re intimate with them, it makes what you’ve done with me meaningless.”

I didn’t wait for Aaron to say anything else. I merely turned and walked away. The ball was in his court now. I made it clear what I wanted and I didn’t plan on settling for anything less. Either we had a true relationship or we had nothing. I was tired of straddling the fence between the two.

***



The following week, I tried to get to class as late as possible without being too late. I hadn’t heard anything from Aaron all week and I wanted to minimize our contact. Realizing we would probably have to discuss our final project after class, I had already created a division of labor that I planned on handing to him that outlined different parts of the project we could do on our own so we wouldn’t have to see each other. I was even willing to put everything together the final week of class, if he just emailed it to me. It seemed like the perfect plan.

When I arrived in the classroom, I noticed the pretty girls we already seated in the back of the room and most of the other students had already found their seats. Even Dr. Griffin was at her desk getting her notes ready for class. The only other person, who was noticeably absent, was Aaron. Damn! I thought for sure he would have already arrived.

I took my seat and grabbed my Mary Cassatt biography. I hoped it wouldn’t be too obvious when he walked past me again this week that I was still in exactly the same place in the book. I hadn’t actually had time to read the biography yet, although I intended to, probably over winter break.

My nose was pressed firmly in the book when I heard snickering from the back of the class. When I

looked up from my book, Aaron was walking into class carrying a massive balloon bouquet. Every one of the balloons was a sunflower. I gulped. I quickly glanced over at Dr. Griffin and she was wide-eyed.

Yipes! This was going to be embarrassing. But I guess I asked for it when I said I didn’t want to be a secret girlfriend.

Aaron approached my desk and set the massive balloon bouquet in front of me. I noticed each balloon was being held down with a little weight attached to the bottom of it. Clever. Of course, I couldn’t see over the thing. Several of the balloons were in my line of sight.

Aaron took his seat behind me. I could hear the girls in the back of the room snickering. Then one of them said loud enough for the entire class to hear, “I heard Aaron never gives girls anything, not even his phone number.”

Then her friend said, “She must have a magic VaJayJay.”

The other girl followed up with, “The quiet ones are always the freaks in bed.”

“Either that or she gives killer BJs.”

Both girls laughed at their attempts at humor at my expense.

Dr. Griffin cleared her throat to bring the class to order. “Rainy,” I heard her say but I couldn’t see her.

“Yes, Dr. Griffin,” I managed to rely.

“Would you mind doing something with those balloons? I don’t want them to distract your learning.”

I was completely mortified. I grabbed all of the balloons and moved them so that the weights were all on the seat next to me. There were no other students seated in my row and no one else was now behind the balloons.

Dr. Griffin continued. “Based on your reading this week, I’d like you to think about who you believe to be the most influential artist of the Impressionist period?”

As Dr. Griffin prepared her PowerPoint presentation for the Impressionists, I heard my text notification buzz. I quickly looked at my phone.

The text from Aaron said: Sorry about the girls and Dr. Griffin.

I texted back: It’s not your fault. THX for the balloons.

Aaron texted: I just wanted to see you smile.

I turned back to Aaron and gave him a quick smile. His face immediately lit up the room. I turned back fast enough that Dr. Griffin was just getting her first slide ready.

***



After class, Aaron stood by my desk as I packed my backpack. “Need someone to carry your balloons?” he asked.

“Yeah, thanks.”

He reached over the desk next to mine and grabbed them.

As we exited the class, I thanked him again for the balloon bouquet.

“It was my pleasure.”

“I can’t take them into the library.”

“I know. Do you want to drop them off in your room then we can go somewhere to talk? I know just the place.”

I nodded.

We walked back to my room in silence. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say. Aaron seemed a bit off. I

wondered if he was nervous. That might be a first.

When we got to the front door of the dorms, it was a bit awkward. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been guys in my room, Well, one guy, anyway. He knew that Lucas had been there. I just didn’t feel comfortable inviting him up yet. We were still on shaky ground.

“I’ll be right back,” I promised.

Aaron’s face fell a bit but he recovered quickly. “Of course,” he said and handed me the balloons.

When I returned to Aaron a few minutes later, he was pacing. I had never seen him pace before. He was always super calm and collected. I expected to see him leaning somewhere with his arms crossed over his chest but he wasn’t. His hands were in his pocket and he had his head down. He seemed deep in thought.

“I’m ready,” I said as I approached. I seemed to have caught him off guard.

“Okay,” he said finally. He removed one of his hands from his pocket and placed it palm up in front of me. It was his way of asking me if he could hold my hand again. I stared at it for a split second. It was one of those moments in which I would make a critical decision. Did I want a relationship with Aaron?

When I took his hand, he exhaled. He seemed to be relieved. Then he interlaced our fingers and held my hand so tightly, I thought he might never let me go again.

I didn’t realize there was a park so close to campus. It wasn’t very large and was a bit on the rugged side with a lot of overgrown trees and bushes. Only one main path was paved and the rest of the smaller paths were dirt.

We stopped at a gigantic boulder that was flat on the top. “This is it,” he said. “It’s where I come to think. I call it my thinking rock. Original, I know.”

We both sat on the flat part of the boulder. It was extremely quiet. It made sense to come here when he wanted to be alone with his thoughts. “It’s peaceful,” I said.

He cleared his throat. “There’s a lot I want to tell you but I’m not sure where to start.”

“I’m not in a hurry.”

He gave me a half smile. When we caught each other’s eyes, the chemistry between us was still in full force. I held back a shudder.

He took a breath and spoke, “I’ve been miserable since I saw you kiss that other guy.”

“Lucas.”

“In my mind, I kept seeing him holding your hand and touching you. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to be the one touching you and holding you and kissing you. Not him. Not anyone else.”

I nodded. I knew how he felt. “I feel the same way when I see you with other girls.”

He grabbed both of my hands into his. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

I nodded.

“There are some things I need to tell you about my past. It will explain a lot. I want to be honest with you about everything. I just don’t want you to think any less of me because of my past. I want to be a better person for you. I want to be the person you deserve to be with. I want you to give me another chance to prove myself but I need for you to know why I did the things I did.”

He looked at me with such vulnerability, I almost cried. “Okay.”

“I completely and totally destroyed the only real relationship I ever had. I was sixteen. The girl I was going out with, Chloe, was a wonderful person. Beautiful inside and out. She loved art, like you, but she didn’t study it, she created it. She always wanted to be an artist. She was kind and she really cared about other people. And she loved me. That turned out to be her greatest fault. I managed to totally f*ck up our relationship and break both of our hearts in the process. “

“What happened,” I murmured, although I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Chloe sounded perfect. How could I ever compete with her memory? And how did he break her heart?

Aaron continued, “For Spring Break, a bunch of us decided to go to my parent’s lake house. I planned on riding to the lake with Chloe and her cousin, Elena, on Friday afternoon. Right before we left, Chloe said her sister was having problems with some of the plans for her wedding, which was just a few weeks after break. Chloe said she had to help her sister but that she’d drive up and meet us the following day.

“I guess I didn’t know Elena as well as I thought. When we got to the lake house, she started hanging all over me. Touching me. Flirting. At first, I tried to turn her off but the more I did, the more aggressive she got. A few other couples arrived and the beer started flowing. Elena and I got really drunk. She started to kiss me. I tried to fight her off but I guess I wasn’t as convincing as I should have been. We ended up sleeping together.

I didn’t remember a lot of what happened that night but the next morning, Chloe found me and Elena, asleep , naked and hanging all over each other. I can still see the look on Chloe’s face. It was a look of complete and utter devastation. There was so much hurt and disappointment in her eyes and I knew I had caused it. I had completely betrayed her.”

Aaron had a faraway look in his eyes. He continued, “I was heart sick. I felt like I was going to throw up I was so upset. But when I looked at Elena, she was actually gleaming. She had such a self-satisfied look on her face, I realized there was a lot more going on between Elena and Chloe then I realized. I felt like Elena had used me like a pawn to get at her cousin. Elena gave Chloe a smug smile and said, ‘You’re right, Chloe. Aaron really is good in bed.’

Chloe ran away. I threw on my clothes as quickly as I could and ran after her. When I caught up to her, I grabbed her arm. She turned and looked at me with such a look of utter disgust, I felt like a piece of shit.

And I deserved it. I was a piece of shit. She said, ‘Get your hands off me. Don’t you ever touch me again.

You lost the right to touch me when you put your hands on Elena.’ Of course, I let her go. She didn’t say another word to me. She turned her back on me and walked away. She never spoke to me again. She acted like I didn’t even exist. Of course, Elena never spoke to me again either. She got what she wanted. I felt like nothing. Less than nothing. That’s when I decided I wasn’t going to get involved in any more relationships. I never wanted to hurt anyone the way I hurt Chloe. And I started to believe I was an a*shole, who didn’t deserve a girl like Chloe again. After that, I just did casual hook-ups. No strings attached. The girls didn’t mind. I started to get a reputation. After a while, girls didn’t see me as anything else. They didn’t want to see me as anything else. They knew it was just about sex and that’s what they wanted. I think they used me as much as I used them.”

I wasn’t sure what to think. Aaron’s story was tough to swa llow. He made a bad decision and did something really stupid. But he also seemed to be punishing himself a bit excessively for something that happened a long time ago.

Aaron looked deeply into my eyes. “When I met you, Rainy, things changed. You’re like Chloe in some ways, beautiful, smart, passionate, and caring. That intrigued me but it also scared the shit out of me.

The more I got to know you, the more I wanted you and the more intense my feelings for you became. I

loved Chloe but what I feel for you is so much more. You’re literally my sunshine. I feel like I need you to grow, hell, to even survive. Who can live without sunlight? Please give me another chance. Let me prove to you that I’m worthy of your love.”

I swallowed hard. I was scared out of my mind. I knew Aaron had deep feelings for me but he also had the capacity to hurt me just as deeply. I bit my bottom lip. I was at another turning point. I could walk away now and cut my losses or plunge into the deep water and take my chances. It was sink or swim time.

Aaron looked at me expectantly. He was waiting for me to respond.

I cleared my throat and Aaron raised an eyebrow.

“I have some ground rules,” I said as firmly as I could, even though I just wanted to melt into his arms.

“Okay,” he said.

“First, if you’re with me, you can’t be with anyone else. No kissing or even touching any other girls.”

He nodded although I wasn’t sure yet if it was a nod of understanding or agreement.

“Second, you’ve probably figured out that I’ve never, um, been with anyone sexually. I won’t sleep with anyone unless we’re totally committed to each other and we love and respect each other. And I

won’t sleep with you until I know that I can completely trust you. I hope you realize that may not be for a while. I know you’re used to having sex a lot and whenever you want, so if you don’t want to wait until I’m ready, I understand.”

Now I was the one waiting for his response. I truly didn’t know what he was going to say. I’m sure it was a lot for someone like him to take in.

Aaron brought both of my hands to his lips and slowly kissed each one of my fingers. Then he stared into my eyes. I could feel my body heat up in response to the intensity of his gaze.

“You, Sunshine, will be well worth the wait. I don’t want anyone but you.”

Then he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I could feel the heat from his mouth surge though my entire body. With his lips still hovering over mine, Aaron closed the distance between us. He kissed me again but this time with more intensity. My breath caught as he expertly moved his tongue into my mouth and caressed my tongue. Just as my body started to get weak, Aaron placed his arms around me and held me tight. I melted into the warmth of his body.

“I promise not to hurt you,” he whispered softly into my ear.

I wasn’t sure if I was crazy but in that moment, I believed him.

“What are you doing Saturday?” he continued.

“I don’t have any plans. Why?”

“I’d like to take you out on a real date.”

I smiled. “I’d love that.”

“I’ll pick you up at around three, if that’s okay. Be sure to wear your hair in a ponytail.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Trust me,” he said and grinned.

Trust him. Interesting choice of words. That really was the heart of the matter.