“This I have to hear,” I said.
“I was in love once,” he said, and when I opened my mouth to talk, Iver shushed me. “I was married. Don’t look at me like it’s the most bizarre thing you’ve ever heard. It was a long time ago. She died. We were only together for a year before she passed, and that year was the happiest I’ve ever been, even though the last six months of it involved being by her bedside in a hospital and watching her waste away into nothing, literally a skeleton of who she was. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.”
“Iver, I-”
“Hush, darling,” he said. “I’m imparting my wisdom right now. It’s rare, finding someone who understands you. And it’s even rarer when it comes to people like you and me. Someone who can cut through all the bullshit, who sees you despite all the masks you wear? It’s impossible. When you find that, you hang onto it. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a moment, or if it’s for a lifetime.”
“I don’t know if I can, Iver,” I said. “What if there’s nothing there, underneath it all?”
“Everyone’s afraid, darling,” he said. “And we all feel like frauds. And everyone wears masks-grifters just happen to wear them more visibly than others. Silas sees you for who you are, and that’s something.”
“I’m terrified,” I said.
“Good,” Iver said. He sipped his coffee, and then grimaced. “That’s how you know it’s love, by the way. Because it scares the hell out of you.”
***
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
SILAS
I sat in the armchair, dozing even though it wasn’t that late. The knock on the front door nearly made me jump out of my skin.
When I pulled it open, Tempest spoke before I could.
“I don’t want you being in a goddamned fight,” she said. “Because I don’t want to lose you, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay, like you’re acknowledging that you’re hearing what I’m saying, or okay you agree?”
“Okay, like I understand I was being an idiot for being reckless,” I said. “And that I was being a jackass earlier, walking out in the middle of a fight. And, fucking hell, for fighting with you, too.”
“Both of us were being stupid,” she said. “I’m not used to any of this, you know. I’m not used to being with anyone. It’s only ever been you. There was no one after you.”
“No one that meant as much,” I said.
“That too,” she said. “But, no, I mean, completely literally, there has never been anyone else but you. Not a hookup, not a date.”
Seven years and she hadn’t been with anyone but me? This girl, who had to have men throwing themselves at her right and left, who was so beautiful I could hardly think straight? Shit, she’d been at the hotel with that guy from her grifter team, the one who looked like he stepped off the pages of a magazine, and I’d wanted to punch him in the fucking face immediately upon seeing him, because I thought they were together. This girl hadn’t been with anyone but me. It was ridiculous.
I’d have laughed out loud, except she seemed so damn earnest about it.
“Say something, Silas,” she said. “I tell you something goddamn personal and you’re staring at me like I have two heads. My hands are shaking.”
I didn’t speak. I stepped forward, my hand at the base of her head, and pulled her toward me. I kissed her, my mouth enveloping hers, wanting nothing more than all of her. There was nothing I could fucking say right now. I had no words.
What I wanted to say was just too much.
So I picked her up and carried her inside, walking straight to the bedroom, where I set her down in front of me. I didn’t say anything as I peeled off her clothing and she stood completely naked in front of me. I didn’t say anything as I stripped off my clothing and stood naked in front of her.
And I didn’t say anything as I began to apply kisses down her neck, over her breasts, down her stomach, or as I knelt between her legs and covered her * with my mouth. I tasted her on my tongue, but all of my senses drank her in as she came on me, clinging to my head and pulling my face into her.
I barely stopped to let her catch her breath before I picked her up in my arms, even though the bed was only a few feet away, and carried her to the bed, laying her gently down.
“Silas,” she whispered, finally breaking the stillness between us. “I need you.”
I need you.
She could have been talking about sex or more than that, I didn’t care. Arching against me as I kissed her, she moaned softly into my mouth when I pressed the head of my cock against her entrance. I paused for a minute, savoring the sensation of her wetness on bare skin, before I plunged myself into her willing *.
This time, I made love to her with long, slow thrusts, listening to her shallow breaths, the way she whimpered as she became more aroused. I kissed her neck, just under her earlobe, the place that gave her goose bumps and made her moan with need.