"Fuck," he said. "I knew you wouldn't take it seriously."
"No, I'm not going to take it seriously, some wild hair you've got up your ass about him being murdered. Someone could have bashed his skull in with a rock. Hell, I hope it was our mother who finally got fed up and beat him to death. I'd have some damned respect for her for once. It would show us she's got a little backbone in there. But he's dead. It's all that matters."
"But don't you want to know why someone would be interested in him being out of the picture?" Silas' blue eyes were wide. I watched him, ranting about his theory, half-thinking he might really be on drugs or something.
"I'm not going to talk about this anymore," I said. "I have to take a leak."
"Going to go grab a smoke," Silas said.
"Thought you quit that shit," I said, over my shoulder.
"Hey, gimme one of those, will you?" Silas' boss yelled across the room as he walked outside with him.
Fuck Silas and his crazy bullshit theories. What the hell would anyone want with murdering my father? Sure, plenty of people hated the asshole - I couldn't fucking think of a single person, other than my lunatic mother, who liked him, other than his drinking buddies at the bar. But people who hated him would cop to it. Covering something up implied there was something to cover up.
My father had nothing in his life worth murdering over.
On the other hand, my mother and the mayor... She had been cagey when I'd asked about that.
***
RIVER
My head was spinning. I would have to come clean with Elias about the movie. I needed to tell him. He would understand. I was contractually obligated.
I would have to go back to Hollywood.
It wouldn't be that long.
It was the only reasonable thing, I told myself as I drove to the address he'd given me.
I needed to do what was practical.
What did I really know about me and Elias, anyway? I knew how I felt when he touched me, how he made me feel when he held me. But that didn't tell me shit about shit, right?
It wasn't enough to make a decision about someone, was it? Two weeks of knowing a person did not count for anything.
It didn't mean this was something.
It could just as easily be nothing. A fling.
The reasonable part of me said it was a fling. By definition, it was a rebound.
Don't make life-altering decisions in the middle of stressful situations, my therapist had advised me.
Picking someone up and deciding it was a relationship when you were on the run from your wedding...that was probably one of those things I wasn't supposed to do.
It wasn't healthy.
What Elias and I had...it wasn't real, then.
The smart thing to do would be to head back to Hollywood, alone, and do my movie.
On the other hand...Elias could come with me.
I could ask him to come. I could tell him how I felt, being with him here. I could tell him I wanted more.
I could take the risk, tell him that it was crazy, that I'd never felt like this about anyone before, that the thought of leaving here without him was just...bleak.
When I saw his Mustang in the parking lot of the bar, my heart skipped a beat. I steeled myself, taking a deep breath.
I was going to do it.
He might completely laugh at me, say I was crazy.
I smoothed my hair on the edges, the stray pieces that kept flying out over my ears, wondering why the hell I didn't get a proper haircut while I was here instead of this hack job. My hands trembled.
I walked down the sidewalk toward the entrance, and almost turned in, until I saw Elias talking to some guy around the corner. They were...smoking.
Elias didn't smoke.
Or, he didn't tell me he smoked.
I stopped, mid-motion in a wave, and dropped my hand. They were laughing and joking, hadn't seen me, and I stood, out of view, but within earshot, paralyzed when I heard my name and "movie star."
The guy he was with was asking about me.
"Just a fucking fling," I heard Elias say. "A girl like that, are you kidding? Shit's got an expiration date written all over it."
The other guy laughed. "Yeah, man," he said, shaking his head. "No fucking way."
I could feel the blood drain from my face, my hands suddenly cold. I backed up a few steps, then turned and jogged back to the car, pulling away as quickly as I could before I felt tears well up in my eyes.
Just a fucking fling.
Expiration date written all over it.
I drove back to the bed and breakfast, over the speed limit, flying around the curves in the road, just trying to get as far away from there as quickly as possible.
Trying to get away from him.
I brushed the tears from my cheeks.
What the hell was wrong with me? First Viper, and now Elias? There had to be something about me, something fundamentally fucked.
Did you think there was something between you other than a quick roll in the hay? Did you think you were something special?
I could hear her words in my head.
You'll always be River Gilstead, no matter how far you run. You'll always be my daughter. Poor white trash, spreading her legs for anyone who'll have her.