Josh’s bark of laughter at the irreverence of her words went some way in alleviating the tension taking over the room.
With a shake of his head, Sam continued. “I had to make a choice, get dad out of his hole or stick around and look after you and mom. Well, I chose the hustle. I got him out of his, shall we say mess, in exchange for him taking care of you guys. I sold my soul for him and he repaid me by killing himself.”
“What did you just say?!”
“Lux–” Josh attempted to intervene.
“No! He’s a liar. My father did not take his own life, he wouldn’t do that!” Springing to her feet, Lux rushed her brother, as though making physical contact with him would be cause enough for him to retract the words.
Josh intercepted her even though Sam took no action to defend himself.
“Let go of me because I’m going to make sure he takes that back!” Lux screamed still looking at her brother.
“It’s the truth and I have nothing to take back. Grow up, Lux. You need to stop running away and hiding from the truth, and if that fails, running your mouth. Our father was a coward and rather than face the mess he’d created of his life, he chose the easy way out. Our father committed suicide, so deal with it!”
Deep down she knew he spoke the truth but was reluctant to admit it out loud. Their father’s death had been the start of whispers and abruptly ceased conversations whenever she was near. There were also the looks of pity passed her and her mother’s way.
Their midnight move from their large house in the middle of the night even before they buried her father. It all fit. The way her mother answered her questions told her something didn’t add up. More often than not the reply she got when she asked about her father’s death was his passing was too painful to talk about. After a while, she’d just stopped asking and compartmentalized her misgivings.
Pulling away from Josh, she put space between them all. Unable to comprehend how a person could take their own life, Lux struggled to understand the level of despair her father must have felt. Even though, her heart was breaking, she needed to hear everything. Unwilling to dwell on his actions for too long she chose to move on. “Okay, I’ll deal with what he did in my own way. What else do you have to say to me?”
“For God’s sake, Lux, I’m trying to make amends here!”
“So make it!”
“What are you judging me for, Lux?”
“How about for being a murderous bastard, is that a good enough starting point for you?”
“Everything is just so black and white for you isn’t it Lux. Well, I’m here to tell you that there’s a whole world out there you know nothing about, little girl. A world I hope you never know anything about, and if you doubt me, ask your husband.”
“What are you talking about,” turning to Josh, Lux intercepted the look of anger he shot Sam’s way. “What is he talking about, Josh?”
“Sam,” Rachel broke in. “Stop this.”
“No, if she wants to sit in judgment of me, she should know what her husband is capable of.”
“My wife can ask me any question she likes later on. At that time, I’ll answer with complete honesty. As for right now, if you don’t finish saying what you have to, I’m going to show you what I’m capable of!”
Lux was stunned at Sam’s inference that Josh was involved in his world. She’d always known he carried an air of danger about him, but she refused to believe he was anything like her brother.
“I know you would much rather believe the worse of me but I’m not all bad, Lux. I’ve paid my dues and I’ve made amends. You’re the final part of my attempt at closing this chapter of my life.”
“Consider it closed because I have to tell you that I’ve never been involved in a conversation where so much has been said to so little effect! Next thing I know you’re going to be telling me you work for the CIA.”
The silence that overtook the room had Lux looking around in concern. When everyone erupted into laughter, she finally released her held breath.
“You’re something else, Ms. Luxandria,” Sam laughed as he rose to his feet. “We’re leaving because you’re right, this conversation is going nowhere. I’m going to take Josh up on his suggestion of filling you in on what you need to know.” Turning to his wife, Sam held out his hand. When she took it, he pulled her to her feet.
“That’s it, you’re just going to leave?” Lux asked her brother, feeling her anxiety levels spike while she waited for his response.
“I thought that was what you wanted.”
“Well, I changed my mind, so sit your backside down and let’s finish this conversation.” There was no real steam in her demand; rather, there was an underlying plea that he take up her suggestion.
“What’s really bothering you, Lux? Is it the fact that you can’t get your way? Or is it that you may never see me again?”