Love Resolution

“I know what the problem is,” Marcus grumbled. “This is the same old crap they talked to me about when I was in twelve-steps last year.”

“And yet here we are again.” The psychiatrist tucked a strand of grey hair back into her bun and peered over her reading glasses at him. She adjusted her jacket when Marcus was silent. “Very well, enlighten me.”

“I get frustrated with people or circumstances that I can’t control,” Marcus admitted, running an irritated hand through his hair. He glanced at his watch for the third time since the session had started.

“And so drinking makes you feel more in control?”

“Of course not. I used drugs in the past as a crutch to numb me, but not anymore.” He blew out a breath. “I thought I was ok, that I could handle a drink or two every once in a while.”

“I know they didn’t teach you that in rehab.” She leaned forward in her chair. “But everything you’ve shared with me today is pretty superficial. I believe that identifying the underlying issues is the key to moving forward.”

Marcus tensed. Soul searching sucked.

“That’s what I want you to think about over the next twenty-four hours.” She stood and tucked her laptop into her attaché case. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll determine how committed you are to really kicking this thing.”

After escorting the doctor out, Marcus spent the rest of the morning thinking about their conversation.

Maybe the shrink was right. Maybe there was something to this psychobabble shit.

The truth was all his life he’d felt like he didn’t measure up. Not to other’s expectations, certainly not to his own. This perception had always been his reality. Quick success hadn’t changed anything for him, not really. It had just given him more distractions- money, women, and drugs. But for him, anything less than perfection felt more like failure.

Actually, he knew a major part of the deal was that he spent way too much time inside his head, his fallback place. He found it extremely difficult to let loose, especially when it came to relationships. Except with Avery. She had this way of making him feel like he was all that mattered. Just him. Who he was, not what he did or didn’t do. She pushed past all the public persona and neurosis and reached inside of him.

She was way too good for him. He’d known that back when he proposed, but being without her that week before was hell, and he’d not wanted to ever risk being apart from her again. So, he had made the selfish decision. But now, he had to do the noble thing. His own wants and desires had to be set aside.

A woman like her deserved a man who had his shit together, not someone who was buried in it.

A banging on his hotel door brought his thoughts back to the reality in front of him.

“Marcus!” Dwight shouted.

Well, shit. Great timing, he thought. Why couldn’t his brother have come a little earlier and interrupted the two hour torture session with the therapist, instead of right now when he needed to finish up with Adrienne?

“Be back here around ten thirty,” he said to the ethereal blonde sitting across from him. Years ago Adrienne had been an arresting beauty, but now her looks were showing the wear and tear from years of hard living. He ignored another knock on the door. “Don’t be late,” he admonished.

“Don’t worry, honey.” She put a hand on his chest. “I can’t wait.” She picked up her purse off of the chair and preceded him to the door. He stepped up to hold it open for her.

Dwight’s eyes widened when he saw her.

“Hi, Dwight.” Baby blue eyes accentuated with heavy liner looked him over suggestively.

“Adrienne.” He glanced up and down the hall before giving Marcus a stern look. “What the hell are you doing?”

Marcus raised a brow.

“I’d like to do you both.” Adrienne glanced back and forth between the two brothers. “For old times’ sake.” Her manicured hands patted both their cheeks.

“In case you didn’t notice,” Dwight said as he withdrew her hand. “I’m a married man now.”

“I know that, honey.” She gave a low laugh. “Those little rings don’t stop most of them.”

“I’m not most of them,” he said, glaring at Marcus.

“Well, you don’t have to be rude about it, honey.”

“I’ll see you later,” Marcus told her firmly with a swat on her rear to get her going.

“Looking forward to it,” she said wiggling her ass as she sashayed down the hall.

When she was out of earshot, Dwight rounded on him. “Have you lost your ever loving mind?” he asked, storming inside the room. He glanced at the made up bed before turning around. “Tell me you aren’t sleeping with her?”

Marcus crossed his arms over his chest.

“What are you thinking, man? When Avery finds out, it’ll end things between you two for good.”

“Stay out of it, Dwight.” Marcus’ jaw tightened. “It doesn’t concern you.”

“The hell it doesn’t.” Dwight’s face settled into angry lines. “You know what? Never mind. Suit yourself. You always do. You want to destroy your life? Go right ahead.” His shoulder brushed against Marcus as he strode briskly toward the door. He opened it and paused without turning around. “But you might think about the rest of us for once.”

Marcus let out a long breath staring at the door long after it clicked closed.

That’s exactly what I’m doing.